Pleasurable Money Podcast Transcription
41 | Leaked Coaching Session with Bijou
PODCAST INTRO:
This is the Pleasurable Money Podcast. Hi, I'm Meaghan and I'm the divine alien driving this here spaceship. I'm a pleasurable money coach with over a decade of experience in finance. During that time, I've learned that a mix of systems and spirituality makes a perfect blend. I have helped hundreds of spiritual business owners heal their relationship with money, and I'm here to teach you how to become money's ride or die.
Stop treating money like a booty call using the help of tools like breathwork and pleasure, which will be featured on this podcast and learn from me and other experts about how to own your wealth. Together, we will break down what it looks like to be in relationship with money and to be in full embodiment with your pleasure.
Episode 41 Begins:
Meaghan: Welcome back to the Pleasurable Money Podcast. I am your host, Meaghan, and I'm so happy to have you here. Today I'm bringing you a recording of a session that I did with my former client, Bijou. This session was recorded in 2020, and I love the session so much because you can see her really open up. You can see her start to break down her own embarrassment around the way she thinks about money and the way her household treated money growing up. And I ask her some questions so we can get to the bottom of what her values are, what she loves to spend money on. And it's just a beautiful experience between the two of us. I have Bijou's permission to share this.
And [00:02:00] if you are identifying with anything that she's saying, as far as her answers to my questions go, and you're embarrassed yourself about what's coming up and what you, what you have gone through in your business or with your own relationship with money. I encourage you to ask the questions to yourself, do some journaling, and if you still need some help reach out to me and we can book a 90 minute Jam session, uh, where we dive super deep into money, magic rituals, pleasure and money, transforming your relationship with money, introducing eroticism and sexuality and orgasms into your relationship with money. All of these things really have helped me to transform my relationship with money into something that I love, regardless of what my bank account reflects.
Um, so if that's something that you're desiring, [00:03:00] definitely reach out to me. And if you love this episode, if you love the way that I am, uh, reflecting back to Bijou what she is feeling, then definitely leave me a five star review on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts. And leave me a little blurb that telling me that you love these types of episodes.
I have two other leaked coaching coaching sessions on the podcast. So if you just scroll back, you'll find a couple more. If you love to hear the backend, the secret side of how I coach. Like I said, this was recorded in 2020, so it was a while ago. My coaching style has changed quite a bit, but I think it's fun and, um, interesting to watch myself coach and the way that I've developed over the years.
So, um, yeah. Thank you so much for being here and I will see you on the other side. Bye.
Meaghan: Well, I am so excited that you're here and that you were able to hop on. Um, we're just gonna have about 30 minutes to chat and like the, the it's gonna be really flowy free form. There's no like schedule or anything like that, that we need to go through. So whatever comes up, I'm happy to support you around.
And I have your form here that you filled out. So you said you're wanting to know how to structure and organize your business and finances. So tell me a little bit more about your current situation.
Bijou: Yeah. So I'm just, I'm starting my business right now. Um, I am a, so I'm a health coach and, well, I'm more of a, I guess I work.
I'm a health coach and a somatic. I'm taking my somatic experiencing practitioner training, but I'm more coaching people around intuitive eating and binge eating and all the things that I went through myself. Yeah. But from a more, um, embodied and intuitive [00:05:00] approach. From like my trauma training and everything.
And I'm starting that now. Um, which is interesting, but I'm, I'm very bad at the whole business of stuff. Like I'm learning right now. And, um, so yeah, financially, I don't know how this year, just like money randomly has come to me and like, I'm fine, but I haven't worked in a, in like over a year cause I've been in Brazil and I just,
I don't know. I think I just don't know how to, I've never really known how to structure my money or I've never really, I've kind of just like had it and not had it, like, I would like to feel more in relationship with it, if that makes sense.
Meaghan: Yeah. That's beautiful. Um, so it sounds like you really are kind of wanting to have something a little bit more, um, reliable money coming in and like that like random kind of like, oh, this is
Bijou: [00:06:00] great, but like, can I get this like all all the time?
Yes, exactly.
Meaghan: Okay, great. So, um, tell me a little bit about kind of what you already know about business so that I know kind of like, what have you learned about finances? Do you have any specific questions about how to structure your money?
Bijou: Mm, I guess not necessarily. So I was thinking today I wrote that it was actually my birthday, the day I booked this call and I was kind of like, I didn't have enough time to really like, think about exactly what I was, um, wanting to do when I wrote it.
Mm-hmm so I, I guess I thought more today and where I'm at now, I think there's a lot of like money, um, belief stuff that I'd like to talk about as well. And, um, because I think since I've lived in Brazil, I've picked up a lot of it's just, my family has [00:07:00] a very, I don't know. I think there's a lot of, since there is so much poverty in Brazil,
um, I think there is this mentality, or at least in my family of like almost a guilt around having money kind of thing. And I think I've just picked so much of that up being around all these people. And, um, I don't know. I think I just wanted to talk to you. I don't really know where I'm going with this, cause I'm kinda lost in all of it, but
Meaghan: I love that.
So tell me a little bit about, okay. So tell me.
Bijou: What, um,
Meaghan: what was the mindset around money in your household growing up?
Bijou: Yeah, so I think it was kind of like, we definitely, I didn't have like, here in Brazil, I'm living, not with my family and like, I am with my family, but not my, the family I grew up with.
And. So it's different. We have a lot, I have a lot more money here in Brazil. Like my family has a lot more money here in Brazil than they did in [00:08:00] Canada. And it was all like, it was always very much a struggle like for my mom, for most of my childhood was living like very much paycheck to paycheck, um, and was a single mom.
And I think money.
Was just like, I, I, I don't know. I just felt like I, I remember for example, I would get money for Christmas and my mom would just like take it from me. And like when I was a child, not on per, like, she would secretly take it from me, but, and I, I don't know. I think I just grew up, I think I have a fear. Okay.
Sorry. Now I'm now I'm understanding the whole picture, but, um, I, I would always be like promised money or promised whatever, and like never get it. So I think I don't trust. I, I feel like I have to, like, I remember when I was, I almost moved back to Canada this year and I was freaking out because I had no money and I was like, I, [00:09:00] I feel like I have to have like, money.
And I have to know that I am safe within myself because I don't, I just don't trust anyone else. Like I have, I don't know. I think I have a bit of a fear around not having money and,
Meaghan: yeah. Um, okay. So it sounds like you have kind of this disconnect of like, you know, that you deserve money, but it's, it's hard for you to like connect to actually receiving the money and
Bijou: yeah.
And
Meaghan: feeling like, okay, I can have this and nothing bad's gonna happen.
Bijou: Yes. That feels, yes. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I think also. I've, this is something I've been thinking about recently. And I, I guess it's almost like I read something about like attachment styles in money. Yeah. And how it's, I I'm [00:10:00] very anxious avoid, like, not as much anymore, but I think my tendency is avoidant in general and attachment, and I see that with money as well.
It's like, I'm scared of having, um, receiving I'm scared of allowing it in kind of thing. and I'm scared of having a lot of money. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I, I don't trust myself with it either. Has something
Meaghan: happened in your past to someone you knew that had lots of money, maybe they lost their house or maybe they, um, lost their job and they were worse off.
Yeah. I don't
Bijou: even think in my actual past, but I feel like maybe like in a past life, because anytime, anytime I hear a story like that, It like stays in me. If that makes sense. Like, it's very, like that's gonna happen to me. yeah.
Meaghan: Okay. And what about, um, have you ever had anyone that you [00:11:00] love, like use you for money?
Like you kind of mentioned that your mom didn't really allow you to have the money that you've got from birthdays and Christmas, but have you ever had anybody take advantage of you for your money?
Bijou: No, no, except for my parents, like just, I never felt. Yeah. Like, except never, no, just my, both my parents would constantly take my money as a child.
So did you
Meaghan: have to start working really young?
Bijou: Did you yeah. Have a job? I didn't have to. I didn't have to, but I did. Um, I worked a lot. I've always, that's the thing.
I've always had money because I never let myself not have it, cuz I, I feel like, I don't know. I guess I've just, I've worked since I was like started babysitting when I was 12 and then like actually got a job when I was like 13 or 14 and have always just worked a lot. And in Brazil I haven't, [00:12:00] but somehow I've just randomly come across money, um, in random ways.
But yeah, I did at 14, 13, 14.
Meaghan: okay. So I can kind of see where like your, I can see where like maybe your fear of having lots of money and being good with money is kind of keeping you held back a little bit. So let's, I wanna ask you kind of about how do you, how do you spend your money now? Like how do you see and spend your money now?
Bijou: Yeah. So right now I don't have, I, I don't try to spend, I guess I, I see my money as like something that is like, I see it as energy, and energy that should be like, I, I don't just. Spend it on [00:13:00] anything. But I also think that if I like want something or feel like I'm not impulsive with it, I I'd say I'm actually pretty good with my money.
Like I'm not impulsive, but I also like do buy things like I, and like, I'm very, there are a few things that I actually feel like I need, um, in my life, but I, yeah, like right now I spend my money. Like my, luckily my family is really supportive here and has been like helping me with food and everything.
And I mostly just spend my money on food and like transportation and colonics, which are, just a thing that I, um, yeah, so that's pretty much it. It sounds like,
Meaghan: kind of your values revolve around like health and wellness and that's what you tend to spend most of your money on.
Bijou: Yes, I just, yeah, I spend my money on
feeling good. Um, that's my most important thing is like, if I'm [00:14:00] healthy and feel good, then everything else is fine in, in my life.
Meaghan: Okay. So when you think of like wanting money, what do you like truly and authentically want to buy with money? Or what do you want to get with money? Not necessarily even buying.
Yeah.
Bijou: So I think I want to know that I'll have access to like it like really health and wellness stuff. Like I have a lot of digestive issues and I'd like to be able to like, buy the things I need and like go to the practitioners like right now, luckily I'm able to, but just like, I want to have that life, like, I wanna be able to take care of myself in that sense.
Um, and then also of course I want money, so that I can't well, so I don't have to live with my family. Not that I don't. I just like they health and wellness wise, they do not contribute. They are very screamy and loud and I it's hard to get good sleep here. So it's just [00:15:00] like, I would like to be able to move out and I'd like to be able to start my own life and with money to buy, like invest in courses and invest in coaches for my business.
um, and just invest in myself and yeah, my future kind of vibe.
Meaghan: Yeah. That's amazing. So it sounds like you're really wanting to like branch out on your own and have money for yourself. And I really like admire you for even like asking these questions because a lot of people are like,
Bijou: like,
Meaghan: and like try to do it all on my own and like see how it works out, you know?
Yeah. Yeah. So tell me a little bit more about your business and like where are you in like, launching and tell me about like the feel of how your business is gonna start out.
Bijou: Ooh. So feel vibes are, I'm a little [00:16:00] confused still, but that's okay. Um, I. I've definitely like kind of launched. And I, I worked with a coach for myself on healing stuff around food last year.
And recently I reached out to her and kind of got her to help me, um, structure, like to gimme some advice on how she structures sessions. So I feel confident and I've worked with a few beta clients. But, um, I, I feel like I want to start working with actual paid clients, not necessarily for the money, but just cause I feel like there's another level of commitment involved in that.
I feel like that's kind of what I, I need. Like I want to work with someone who's taking it seriously and who, so I can actually help them kind of thing. Yeah. Um, cause I feel like with my beta clients, it was just kind of vague and general and I didn't feel like I was really able to help in the way that I wanted to.
So I feel, I feel [00:17:00] confident in how, in what I'm doing. Like, of course I know that I need practice. And, um, I think also in terms of charging, um, so yeah, I guess so I I've kind of started, I've launched, but then it's almost like this, as this year is like wrapping up. There's all of this. Just like, can, there's still.
Sorry. I'm like going on so many tangents at once. You're just allowing me to like put together all my thoughts that have been like in here. Thank you. You're um, but yeah, I think I'm just partially confused on, cuz I've changed so much this year and then the last few weeks even, and I guess I'm a little confused, I'm almost divided into.
I guess niche wise, um, I'm divided in between [00:18:00] what in between two kind of things and not two things, but I'm not sure how to combine them. Um,
Meaghan: yeah. Yeah. So I think I, my advice around nicheing is that like having, like the modalities that you're using doesn't necessarily need to be like your niche. So you're like talking about somatic you're, you're learning how to do the somatic healing and everything like that.
So you don't necessarily have to like that doesn't have to be your niche. It just has to be, it's one of the tools that you use to facilitate healing. So if you were a healing, like a health and wellness coach, if you're a manifestation coach, so if you're an abundance coach, you're these things are like the end result.
So your niche can be the end result that you want to facilitate. But everything that you learn along the way is just tools that you're [00:19:00] bringing into the session. So totally you can put in your bio, like. I use somatic healing. I use Reiki. I use, you know, the type of modality that you're learning about anything new that you want to utilize in session, but that's not necessarily what your niche is.
Does that make sense?
Bijou: No, totally. Yeah. I think. More so specifically it's like, so for example, I I'm very much into detoxification and, um, cleansing, and that has helped me so much on healing my journey with food and just health in general. But then at the same time, I'm really interested in like teaching people how to eat intuitively.
Like for me, eating intuitively has been doing this, and getting into cleansing work and detoxification. And I guess I'm just torn if I want to incorporate that into my [00:20:00] teachings. And it's almost like I, the end result is like the end result is me for my clients, but it's like, I don't know if I want to help in that way, if that make, does that make any sense?
Um,
Meaghan: kind of just make sure that I'm clear. Are you saying that you're not sure if you want to bring in the cleansing part of like the intuitive eating, like if you want to bring in that. Yeah. Yeah. What is your hesitancy? I mean, what is kind of making you hesitate about bringing in that, what you've learned about cleansing and
Bijou: everything.
So I think there's two things. There's the one thing is that it's I think it's be, I guess. Okay. Well, so one thing is because since I am talking about intuitive eating and breaking free from binge eating or whatever, generally in those circles, there's a very big like anti [00:21:00] diet culture, which is awesome.
But at the same time for me, that hasn't worked, not that I am pro diet, but I think that for me, having structure and understanding like how the body functions has like really been helpful for me. And I don't think that's for everyone, but I think that potentially for my clients, that those will be the people who will be drawn to me.
People who have gut issues, people who struggle with their skin and want to like how I kind of see my ideal client is someone who is struggling with digestive issues or health issues and is on some sort of like, um, healing diet kind of, but go like it makes them crazy kind of thing, you know, like, yeah.
Um, I wanna help people feel good, but also feel sane and like not have an eating disorder around it. Cuz that, that was my experience is like wanting to feel good, so desperately, but just like it's so much. And there's so much information [00:22:00] and I don't know, I just struggled with eating disorder for years, but now I've been able to feel good and feel sane and that's kind of what I want, but I just, I don't know if that's too much for my population.
Like if that's something that only I have created for myself and that's for me, but maybe not for my client. Yeah.
Meaghan: I, I disagree. I mean, I think that that's, yeah, that's a beautiful, um, because I, I assume, and I've never been an intuitive eating coach, but I assume that a lot of it has to do with mindset. So mm-hmm, the majority of what you're gonna be talking about is.
Because it's the same with money. Like people have this all or nothing mentality of like either I stuck my budget completely 100% or just fuck it, like the whole month is like done, so I'll just like, do whatever I want. And so I it's. [00:23:00] So having a negative connotation toward diet or towards structure mm-hmm is a
limiting belief that might, that once they free themselves of that limiting belief can be so beneficial to them to bring structure into their diet because people who are scared of structure and are kind of pulled more to like the intuitive eating, I just eat whatever I want, like in whatever makes me feel good.
That's amazing. But if you have a block at all toward anything, that's still a block, that's still a limiting belief. So being in true abundance with anything, with money, with food, with family, is being in pure flow, back and forth between structure and, and non-structure. Yeah,
Bijou: no, I, I so agree. And I, I think in, in like the somatic and trauma world, like the, [00:24:00] the rejection of structure, like is very much just like.
Reject. It's like a trauma in a way, a trauma response, but yeah. Um, it's, it's so interesting. I just, I think I'm a little afraid of, of taking that stance. I think that's kind of it, um, just because I would, I'd say it's so popular to, to not. To be anti diet. Yeah. Which is, which is awesome, but it's just like, and I think it it's an important movement.
Um, so I do think that structure is important. Yeah.
Meaghan: What I will say about being afraid to take a stance. So one of the best things about business is that when you become polarizing, so when you say this. This is good, and this is bad. Or like when you take a hard and fast stance on something is when [00:25:00] you start to get hard and fast followers and fans and people who follow your work like crazy, because they're so about your beliefs and the way that you, so the more that you take stances on things in, in the health and wellness world,
the more the people that agree with you are gonna, you know, they're gonna fucking agree with you, you know? Yeah. They're gonna stand up for you and yes, you may piss people off on the other hand, but those people can unfollow. You can un, you can. Yeah, you can completely, um, encapsulate your bubble with people who are on the same page as you and your clients will be that much more
excited to work with you because you guys have the same values or they want to have the value that you have. Like, they start desperately want to believe what you believe. I mean, that's how I hire coaches is like, if I see who has a belief that I want to [00:26:00] emulate, but it's hard for me to get to that point.
I'll hire that person just so I can get that belief.
Bijou: Interesting. Okay. I like that. And I, I see myself doing that too, but not really realizing it. So. I love that. Um, okay. I have another question on like content and stuff. And so I guess getting clear on my target market, target audience, um, and creating I'm a I'm, I'm kind of understanding it a bit more now, but I just wanna talk to you about it.
Just like. How specific do I have to get my content? How do you have any advice around that? Um, just I think organizing content and stuff too, and getting more intentional about it. Yeah. So, yeah.
Meaghan: So when you were talking about earlier about your ideal client and how they're just like going crazy because they hate the diet or the, like, whatever they're doing is just making them like[00:27:00]
just lose their mind and like, you know, what's going through their mind. I mean, if you say like, if you like put in your post, like, why can't I just, whatever, why can't I just eat food and be okay. And not feel like I have to purge? Or why can't I just eat like a handful of chips and not binge on the whole fucking bag, you know, like totally when you start speaking to those problem, those pain points for people, because that is some like deep trauma.
Yeah. Like deep struggles for people. Once you start talking to those people will be posting like, oh my gosh, how did you get in my head? How did you know that's exactly what I needed to hear right now? So the more you speak to that specific to, to yourself, your younger self, the more you speak to her, the more you're gonna connect with that ideal client that you want to serve.
Okay.
Bijou: So, so do you, would you, [00:28:00] it's on, I've heard like your ideal client is a past version of yourself. So I think, and I guess, do you have any advice on, I guess, learning their language or learning to - cause I think I've, I talked to someone once and I, and she kept on saying that I had to learn how to speak to my target audience.
And like I realized how much I've forgotten, what it's like to be in their shoes. Cuz it's been so long and I've gone so far kind of thing. Do you have any advice for that or?
Meaghan: Yeah, one of the things that I do is I just have people fill out forms before they book anything with me. So like okay. Really take, and I will repeat the exact thing that they say back to them to make, to make them know that I have heard, understood, and that I am going to carry them throughout the next sentence or whatever that I speak.
So it's not. So I confirm with them first [00:29:00] and then I say, okay, so this is what that means to me. And then bringing it through my own filter. So allowing like just creating a Google form, which is free mm-hmm, going through your followers and being like, "Hey, I'm trying to do some market research, can you please fill this out?
It'll take five minutes. I'd love to give you something in return." And have them fill it out. And it can be like a lot of my forms say, give me three words that you think of money right now. And give me three words that you want to think about money in the future. So that kind of those buzz words that people, I like that yeah.
Are gonna be really powerful in your posts. So a lot of words that I hear are lack, and scared and, um, debt, all of these things have really heavy connotation for them. So when I use them in my post, they're like, you know, they're punchier.
Bijou: Yeah. [00:30:00] No, that's really interesting. So I guess what I'm sensing too is like, like you said about taking on the mindset of the coach is like, Change.
So for example, it would be with food, like for me, like what do you think about you wanna change? You want food to have a different connotation in the future kind of vibe and that's like a, a thing. Yeah. Feel sure.
Meaghan: Feel free to like copy it exactly. Just be like, give me three words that you think about food right now.
And in six months, how would you like to feel about food? Yeah. And then ask them what their goals are. Ask them why they haven't been able to reach those goals on their own yet. Okay. Like what is actually standing in their way and they'll give you, they'll give you all of their reasons. They'll give you all of their excuses.
Most of the time. It's just, it comes down to, I feel like I don't have enough time. I feel like I don't have the resources. I feel like [00:31:00] nobody, like I feel alone. Like, I feel like nobody's going through what I'm going through. And you'll find that most of the answers are gonna be the same, but finding the actual language is very important.
I mean, okay. That's really
Bijou: great advice. Wow. No, thank you so much. I really, yeah, I think I wanted to do a market research thing, but I was a little confused on what questions to ask. So you. The word thing I really like. Um, and then what's stopping you from doing that yourself. And are there any other specific ones that you think are important or,
Meaghan: yeah, I can, um, here I can send
Bijou: you my, yeah, I can write it.
Meaghan: Okay.
Bijou: Do you want me to write it down or do you want,
Meaghan: I can send you a
Bijou: screenshot. Um, is that okay? Yeah, totally. Thank you so much. Of course.
Meaghan: I mean, it's not, I didn't come up with it. I feel like a lot of the [00:32:00] coaches,
Bijou: it's not like, yes .
Meaghan: Um, but yeah, so in our last couple minutes here, I just wanna make sure that you feel supported.
And if there's anything else you'd like to talk about with, before we wrap up. Um,
Bijou: no, I like, thank you. I'm sorry, I came in here completely just like a mess. So you, you like anchored me. Thank you so much. Um, I'm just trying to think. Yeah. If, if there's anything you, you can think, is there anything I can give you?
Do you. Any advice and not advice. Um, any, anything you're looking for for giving me a free coaching session? No. Well, yeah,
Meaghan: so I would appreciate like a little review that I could share my, yeah, that would be great.
Bijou: Yes, no, I will. Thank you so much.
And so kind of you for doing these sessions of course. And is your name
Meaghan: Bijou. Yes. I sure.
Bijou: That's great to meet you. Awesome. Great to meet you, Meaghan. [00:33:00] Is it Meaghan or Meaghan? Meaghan? Cause it's Meaghan. Okay. Mm-hmm amazing. I'll follow
Meaghan: later this week and we'll okay.
.
PODCAST OUTRO:
You've been listening to the Pleasurable Money podcast. If you want to attract more money into your life, subscribe to Pleasurable Money wherever you listen. And if you learned something today, DM this episode to a friend. Reviews help this podcast reach the rest of the world, so if you leave a five-star review on iTunes, it could be featured in a future episode.
Love you so much. Bye.