Pleasurable Money Podcast Transcription

38 | Abundance, Spiritual, Sexual & Pandemic Awakenings with Viola Hug

PODCAST INTRO:

This is the Pleasurable Money Podcast. Hi, I'm Meaghan and I'm the divine alien driving this here spaceship. I'm a pleasurable money coach with over a decade of experience in finance. During that time, I've learned that a mix of systems and spirituality makes a perfect blend. I have helped hundreds of spiritual business owners heal their relationship with money, and I'm here to teach you how to become money's ride or die.

Stop treating money like a booty call using the help of tools like breathwork and pleasure, which will be featured on this podcast and learn from me and other experts about how to own your wealth. Together, we will break down what it looks like to be in relationship with money and to be in full embodiment with your pleasure.

Episode Preface: TW Self Harm

I wanted to preface this podcast episode with a trigger warning. There is some mention of self-harm very briefly, nothing detailed, but I wanted to put that up top. Okay. Enjoy the episode.

Episode 38 Begins:

Viola Hug Interview

Meaghan: [00:00:00] Welcome back to the Pleasurable Money Podcast. I'm your host, Meaghan, and I'm so happy to have you here. Today, I've got Viola Hug on the podcast and we are gonna talk all things, entrepreneurship, money, pleasure, sex, human design, which I have not talked about on the podcast yet, so very exciting. 

Viola: Mm-hmm

Meaghan: and dismantling the patriarchy. Viola, would you like to say a little intro?

Viola: Yeah. Hello. Hello to those that are listening, I'm excited to be here. I love all of these conversations, so I'm, I feel like it's the perfect fit to be here. um, and yeah, for those of you who are meeting me for the first time, my name's Viola hug, I'm a writer, speaker, and a mentor, and I'm the owner of a multiple six figure company.

And alongside my business world. I am also a mom to two Little's. I go by she/they [00:01:00] pronouns. I've been married to my husband for, um, 11, 11 over 11 years now. 

Meaghan: Wow. 

Viola: I lose track, but it's been a long ass time. Um, a great long ass time. Um, and yeah, like, I, I feel like my, my journey's just like ever unfolding with all of these beautiful pieces of, um, really finding what feels so important to me in bringing more joy and pleasure and abundant experiences into people's lives.

Um, and so much of that lies in the core foundations of what you mentioned, like dismantling the patriarchy and all that fun stuff. 

Meaghan: Yeah. Well, I'd love to start there. 

Viola: Yeah 

Meaghan: Because I'm always fascinated about people's ideas for dismantling the patriarchy. And I feel like people have their own ideas. And everything's so unique, the way people go about breaking down the systems that we have set in place. And 

Viola: mm-hmm, [00:02:00] 

Meaghan: blazing the trail for people who have been so marginalized for so long 

Viola: mm-hmm

Meaghan: So I'd love to talk about what your favorite way to dismantle the patriarchy and some of like the more creative ways that you've taught your clients, or maybe your clients have come up with 

Viola: mm-hmm 

Meaghan: their own ways.

Viola: Yeah. I mean, I feel like the whole concept is, um, to me is really like a reclamation of our own uniqueness versus trying like shaming ourselves, or even subconsciously feeling shame about who we really are and what we really desire and the power we have. Like it goes into so much of it. And I kind of stumbled into this idea of like, wait a second.

This is all linked to this bullshit, like concept of, you know, systems set up by men, very fragile men. And, um, it, for me, it was because like I started my entrepreneurship journey 10 years [00:03:00] ago now, and I was doing a whole bunch of different things at the beginning. You know, it was kind of like one of those things where I'd find opportunities or opportunities would find me. And I'd be like, I'm gonna try this because maybe this is the thing. And I knew it was entrepreneurship, but I hadn't really found my voice because I was so conditioned by the external world, I was seeking external validation and everything. You know, I thought when I made money, then people would respect me.

I thought when I was successful, then I would feel like I can relax. I thought, you know, like all of these, um, externally driven thoughts, which, I mean spoiler alert, which isn't probably a surprise to anybody, but it turned out when I could internally validate myself and kind of turn more inward that finally those things I was seeking actually came.

But we can still have money and we can still have success in various human ways, um, in allowing that to happen. But I was so externally driven and, um, I burnt myself out and I was listening [00:04:00] to like, what I now see is actually like hustle culture. And I was listening to very old paradigm business tactics and all of these things that intuitively didn't feel right.

But I pushed my intuition to the side, cuz I thought. Who am I? Like, I'm just a young, you know, 20 year old. I don't know anything. I need to follow these like rich successful 60, 50 year olds. like 70 year olds. And I'm just like, now I'm like, what were you thinking? But I burnt myself out and I was broke.

Like I was so broke, no matter how hard I tried, like I, every year, like I, I, at new year's, I would like set myself stricter refinements of what I was allowed to do, because I thought that it was my leisurely time that was taking away from me being successful. So I remember like 2017, which was um, the last year that I kind of like set myself a rule before I had my like great awakening.

It was also my Saturn return year, but I like made the rule that I wasn't allowed to watch any TV because I was like, [00:05:00] I, when I watch TV, I just like binge watch. And so it must be TV. That must be the reason why I'm not successful. Cuz you know, you hear old school business people be like, I don't watch TV and LA da, da, da.

Yeah. Um, and uh, then I had my um, saturn return that year. And I had two really huge awakenings. I had my abundance awakening and I had my spiritual awakening and I promised this all links together. And with those two awakenings, I started my business and I started my business with wanting to honor my own individual energetics, you know, finding human design, um, like being like, Hey, maybe emotional regulation is something I should look into.

Like maybe, honoring myself. I don't know, healing some of these things going on in my mind is a good idea. And my abundance awakening was like a culmination of me being in such bad debt that I had to start researching money and learning about money and all these different things. But then on, on an energetic level, it was actually almost like transcending just the concept of [00:06:00] money and really moving into the vibration of abundance and, and learning how to feel abundant, grateful, worthy.

Even when there wasn't an external proof that that was available. And then. Um, kind of fast forwarding, I built my business, it grew to multiple six figures. Then I had my first child and then I have boom sexual awakening. My third grade awakening. And that was kind of like the final piece for me. And that's where I really

started to see, because for me, the sexual awakening was a reclamation of pleasure. It was a reclamation of my body. It was a reclamation of my desires. It was like healing, shame about things that I didn't even notice that I held shame about. And sexuality. Yes. But it's almost so much more than that. It, to me, this whole pillar in my work represents our humanness.

It represents our experience. Um, and when I started to look into that, I realized like how. So much of what we believe like, oh, I, you know, I, I look [00:07:00] ugly, oh my God, I need to shave, oh my God. Like all of these thoughts that we complete always have on a loop in our mind is brought forward by the society that is actually kind of messed up when you think of the roots of all these things.

And so I started to pay attention to that and ultimately my, my version of dismantling the patriarchy comes back to radical self reclamation. And, um, just like being like, fuck you. I don't need to build my business in any type of way, and I can still be successful. Like, fuck you. I can have money. And I don't.

like. It's a little bit of like a rebellion, but it's also just like a I'm finally just gonna let myself be happy, like easier said than done, but you know, that's really what it comes down to. It's identifying all of these ways in which most or so many of our limiting beliefs come back to just a conditioning by a [00:08:00] society that isn't serving anyone. 

Meaghan: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Wow. That was, that was a lot of. Compounding your awareness of like, of like your, your reality. So like your three great awakenings were like, you know, The first thing you wanted to break through and blaze your own path with and like not listen to what you've been told to do. And then you're like, okay, well maybe I can do this with money and then, okay, well maybe I can do this with my sexuality and my pleasure and who I am in my body.

So like it's just compounding and I'm sure you're gonna have many more great awakenings. And you're just gonna add to the list of like things that you're rebelling and, and reclaiming, like you said, like it's a right. It's a total reclamation. 

Viola: I like have like one more point. I just wanna add, because I feel like it's so relevant for your audience, but [00:09:00] like one of the big things the past couple years for me, which is like, I guess like a creative perspective as well.

Um, To some, uh, anyway, it was, to me when I was first kind of like diving into it, but one of the big things was like, even my gender identity and my sexuality were things that I like really in hindsight, just accepted by what the world told me, you know, I was just like, okay, yeah. Like the world's like, you're a woman and I'm like, okay.

And the world's like, you're straight. Okay. You know? And it was. Um, and it's just been really interesting because I have a sister who I identifies on the non-binary spectrum. I do in a way as well, which is why I go by she, they pronouns. But like, to me, it was, um, such a reclamation of that as well. It was like, I, the more I started to look into my own identity,

and I, it's funny, cuz I started this years ago, but my first thing I ever learned about myself and this sounds crazy, but it was my favorite color and I find it really interesting cuz when I say that a lot of people [00:10:00] say, huh, that's true. I don't actually know my favorite color either because I'm so conditioned by the outside world and always responding.

And um, that also mixed with like a couple of neuro divergencies that I have. It's like, I just didn't know myself at all. And now it's going to such deeper layers of realizing that literally like everything about our identity is, is put on us. And unless we're actively seeking to question our identity, who we are, our power, we are not fully like in our true essence.

And it really comes back when we talk about business and success and money, I believe the more we become our own like unique frequency who are really designed to be the easier successes, because there's no noise between our innate abundance, our innate worthiness and our external experience anymore. Um, And sometimes what the world told us is true about ourselves, but sometimes it's not.

And so I think that's why it's so important to, um, to really question everything. [00:11:00] 

Meaghan: Over and over again, because even if, 

Viola: yeah, exactly. 

Meaghan: Even if the question, the answer was one thing, one day it's gonna, it might be a different thing. 

Viola: Oh yeah. 

Meaghan: The next day.

Viola: That's such a good point. 

Meaghan: I love that you brought that up because I do have a, a wide queer audience and I've got a ton of queer friends.

Viola: Mm-hmm 

Meaghan: who are constantly breaking down what it means to be a woman or to have a pussy or you know what that means in the world. Do you wanna talk a little bit more about, do you identify as queer or is it more just, 

Viola: yeah. 

Meaghan: Okay, cool. I'd love to hear more about that, um, process for you to awaken into. 

Viola: Yeah. Um, like in hindsight, and this is why I love hindsight because everything's so much clearer , but in hindsight, I'm like, I was always queer AF, but I also had such I guess internalized homophobia in a way, you know, like I always just thought, and this comes back to my worth. Honestly, like when I said before that I was seeking [00:12:00] the external world for validation, for things, one of those things for me was I thought if a man thought I was attractive, that I was worthy, I really did.

And as, um, someone who is, you know, AFAB woman, somebody who's grown up as a woman in society, it's like, we are really seen as objects which is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but we are, we are really seen as, um, objects in this patriarchal society. And that's just apparent with how so many of us crave that attention.

And so in hindsight, so much of my actual quote, unquote attraction to men was really just seeking validation that I was good enough. And it's not that I, I, I mainly identify as queer. I sometimes say bisexual, but I just love like the word queer. Is that what feels the most like me? Yeah. Um, And I am married to a man and we have a very hetero presenting relationship, but we're both queer in our, [00:13:00] you know, in our own

right. Um, but that's like when I was growing up, it was almost like I never gave myself the opportunity to explore because I was also in those early, like, or late teen years and early 20 years while I was exploring my sexuality or like sexually active or whatever, I was in a very dark place. Like I just lost my dad to cancer.

I didn't have any support that I really needed in terms of like my mental health. I was severely depressed. I was, um, you know, trigger warning, but I was, you know, self-harming and suicidal. Like I was in a very, very dark place. And so I was really using a lot of my partying, a lot of my like relationships as a form of self harm.

Like I was not in a good place. And then it just so happened to be that as I started going, huh, this doesn't really feel right. And I started, um, you know, seeking therapy on my own, which was about five years after my dad passed away. When I was 21. Um, [00:14:00] within a year I met my partner and he's like the perfect match for me.

You know, we just like, we're amazing. We get on. And, and so it was almost like so much of my exploration of who I am and what my identity is from a healed perspective was never explored when I was single. And although I had experiences, but I was just put them off to like, oh, that's just like a thing, a one time thing, you know, or like, Like that kind of thing.

And if I found other women attractive or other people attractive, I would just have, like, I would just push it down and just assume I was straight or assume that wasn't a big deal. And then it wasn't. Yeah, until like a couple years ago, hashtag pandemic awakening um, it wasn't until then that I started like, you know, going on TikTok and hearing other people's experiences.

I'm like, wait, I think that all the time, and I heard this one thing say sometimes like, straight people don't think that everybody's queer. And I was like, wait, I, because I always used to be like, everyone's a little queer. Like [00:15:00] everyone's a little me do. That's 

Meaghan: what I, that's what I say too. Yeah. 

Viola: Yeah. And, and someone was like, no straight people don't think that I'm like, mm, I don't believe you.

Like everyone thinks everyone thinks that they're like, no really straight people don't think that. And I was like, Oh, . And so it's been really interesting because for me it's been like my exploration and like, I'm, I'm in a relationship, I'm happy. I'm we're monogamous and we like it that way. Like, we feel really good, but it's been an interesting experience of almost like this reclamation of really who I am.

Um, And being able to have those conversations with my partner, but to me, like now I just feel like so much more like this is so much more me. Like I'm so much more happy now in my identity. And it's yeah, it's very liberating. 

Meaghan: I love that. You, I love that you're an example of another person who identifies as queer, but is also in a hetero presenting relationship.

Viola: Mm-hmm 

Meaghan: Oftentimes, I feel not queer enough. 

Viola: Yeah. 

Meaghan: To be in spaces because [00:16:00] I am also in a hetero relationship with my husband and 

Viola: Mm-hmm,

Meaghan: we've also been together for 11 years. We've only been married for two, but, um, 

Viola: oh, that's awesome. 

Meaghan: We've been together for 11 years.

Viola: Yeah. 

Meaghan: Um, but. Yeah. And so I often feel like, okay, I am, I am a cis woman who identifies very much as she her and like, I'm married to a cis man.

And so like, nobody's gonna believe me when I'm in queer spaces. Like, they're just gonna think that I'm an ally, which, you know, like, you're, you're enough if you're an ally too, but it's just like, like I wanted to be a part of the, like I wanted to be in the, in the crowd, you know, like I wanna be 

Viola: in . Yeah. I felt that so many times too.

And it's um, yeah, I still feel that sometimes, especially because I have a lot of, um, like gay or lesbian friends, and then I often feel like I'm just like, Hey, like let's okay. but I think also like a part of [00:17:00] me, which is like there it's like hard either way in a way it's just different types of hard, because I feel like people who

have been outrightly, queer and had like very queer presenting relationships, even though my relationship's still a queer relationship, it just looks hetero. Right. But it's like, um, a lot of people who've had queer presenting relationships they've had to deal with, you know, the, all of the hardships that come along with that because our society is still

shit, basically when it comes to that, like, I love that there's like online spaces where we can really like warp our reality of how, um, accepted queer is. But in, in the greater scheme of things, like, and in America right now, like it's just so fucked. Like I can't even like. Ugh drives me nuts. And so they've had to deal with like a whole different set of things and I've never had to deal with that because I've been, um, I've had the privilege of having a hetero presenting relationship.

The like [00:18:00] basically my whole relationship life at the same time though, I've had an inner conflict this whole time. So it was like inner in my insides, I was like battling and I was like, not quite there, but, um, Yeah. So it's like, it's a different type of hard, but it's. Yeah. I, I love it when I meet other queer people who are, you know, in the similar position to you and I

Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm well, affirming. Something came up, 

Meaghan: um, when we were talking kind of around, like, how do you. When you were, uh, sorry, let me form this thought. yeah, no, it's fine. At the beginning of your business, or even whenever you go into an awakening and you're still kind of learning, how, how do you find yourself teaching your audience

things that are not fully formed for you yet? Mm-hmm either in business about money or whatever it was. 

Viola: Mm-hmm mm-hmm Okay, so. I have like, um, I guess like, I've [00:19:00] this, isn't a straightforward answer as with most of things in life, but I would say that there's like two aspects of it. One, I don't believe we ever really master something fully.

We are always continually in mastery. And I think that when, when we are in mastery of something, we be, we begin to understand it and see things from a different perspective. And all that really means like being in mastery of something is we are actively and, um, well, I guess just actively pursuing something.

So money is a really easy example, right? It's like if we, um, Well, I'll use my money example. So I had this like abundance awakening, but I wasn't making money yet. My abundance awakening was so much about like understanding the energetics behind making money or not just making money in terms of like how to sell, but more just like being available and open to receiving in our lives, like more the energetic side.

And so I started practicing these things and, um, then I, you know, I made like a thousand [00:20:00] dollars in my like second month in business and then I made like, I don't know, $1,500 a third month. And it was like a very slow start, but it was happening. And. For context. I was so broke at that time when I started my business, that we were staying with my mom, my husband and I, because we couldn't afford to find a place to rent and we couldn't afford food.

So like we stayed with her and my husband drove Uber so that we could pay our bills, which were thousands of dollars in debt. Like the bank's calling us like every freaking day. You need to make a payment, you need to make a payment. And we're like, oh my gosh. Like, it just felt like we were drowning in terms of our situation.

And there was so much of me who that felt shame for my situation, but as I started to like play with these energetics and just really commit myself to this, I started to feel different. So even though I was still in that position for the first, like few months of my business, particularly, um, like financially things hadn't really changed, cuz it was like every dollar I made had to go to pay this bill [00:21:00] had to go do this.

It wasn't like, we were like, oh, now we have a thousand extra dollars. Like it was like, no, like now we can pay this bill that's two years late. Um, so it was financially overall things weren't looking that good at the beginning, but energetically, I was feeling different because I was like, I could see like my vision and all these things that I wanted so much more.

I could really, like, I was like respecting my money in, in the ways that I'd been taught. And I was like, you know, like calculating everything, like making sure I knew what was going on with my money. And I was respecting it and I was energetically feeling grateful and happy nonetheless. And then. It was around like eight months into my business, that things really started to shift.

Um, and it was around that time that my husband and I decided to buy a one way ticket to Germany and be digital nomads. And I'd made like just enough money to pay for our tickets over. And that was like, it, it was like no credit, no savings, no nothing. And not. That I, I don't necessarily recommend people make like, quote [00:22:00] unquote reckless financial decisions, but there was like something about the way we were making that decision, that it didn't feel reckless, but it was like, in hindsight, I'm like, you are crazy.

Like, what were you doing. Anyway, very strong intuition that that was the right move. And for. The next, almost two years, we were digital nomads traveling full time. And in that time is when my business crossed six figures. And that times is when I started making, you know, multiple five figure months and all these like crazy, crazy things.

But, um, at the beginning I was so obsessed with this energy of abundance, because I was like, noticing how it was, it was changing my reality, even before I started making money. But then every time I made money, it was like a pop surprise of like, this is amazing. And so I, um, I basically would, at the beginning, if I was talking about abundance, it was really just like, kind of working with clients and noticing that they had like a lack thought or something of this, because it's something that I've been working on.

I might shift that for them, or I might take them into like, understanding where this thought might be coming from or that these [00:23:00] things that I had been in mastery of. So I wasn't necessarily teaching, Hey, I'm gonna teach you how to make money, but I was teaching, Hey, these are the concepts that have been really helpful for me around abundance and money.

And then I remember it was about like, It was just after or, or before, or it was around the time that I crossed six figures for my, um, business that I then felt like I'm ready to teach a money program, you know? And, and that's when I like reflected. And I thought to myself, what are all the things that I've done, like really went inward and like paid attention to what did I actually do?

Like, not just, what's a cool concept about money, cuz there's plenty of money concepts that I'd heard that I hadn't applied that feel really fun to teach, you know, just to regurgitate them. But I like gave myself, um, permission to just like really reflect and be like, what was my way? Like what really shifted it for me?

What really healed the stories for me? What, when did it really change? Like, and that's when I started to notice like, Hey, I was like seeking external validation here and I actually started [00:24:00] trusting myself here. Hey, like here's where I, you know, realized that I was completely neglecting the money in my life.

And here's where I started taking responsibility. So it was more so that like I gave myself space to only teach what was, what truly felt like it was working for me. And it was real for me versus, um, what I thought I should be teaching. I love that. 

Meaghan: I love that because I think a lot of coaches fall into this trap of like, people wanna hear that they can make 5k months mm-hmm or people wanna hear that they can make six figures with this program.

Mm-hmm so I have to promise them a certain dollar amount or I have to promise them like, you know, what I feel like they want, what, what bro marketing is telling me that all of my clients want mm-hmm . And so it's just really encouraging to hear that you allowed yourself to teach what was alive and real for you and not kind of step into the, [00:25:00] into

a bit of lying about what, what you wanted, what you were capable of, 

Viola: teaching someone. Yeah. And like, even then when I started, you know, like when I made $10,000 for the first time in a month, you know, then it became like such an easy marketing tool to be like, you know, I make 10K months and come learn from me.

And, um, and it definitely felt aligned at the time because the way that I was doing it at the time was from pure joy and inspiration. And it wasn't like, oh, now I have this cool thing. Like, it was just like, Inspiration and, and everything, but it's interesting because you know, you talk about how you mentioned like, oh, we're gonna keep having awakenings and there's gonna be new layers, a hundred percent.

It's like the way that I feel now about money is so different. And I know it's one of the things you wanted to talk about as well, but like, it's been so interesting watching my money evolution completely evolved because, you know, I went from this place where I had a really terrible relationship with money and I was really broke to then having a [00:26:00] good relationship with money in the sense of how I felt about money, but still being broke.

And then I started making money and. Then I had money. And then, um, the most interesting thing happened, even though I was aware of all of these concepts of like, you know, it's not about, money's not gonna change your worth. Like it's about you needing to feel really good. And the money's just kind of like a bonus.

And, um, it's a complex topic for the mind because our humanness really likes to put things in categories and our human mind is always gonna be driven by ego in some respect. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, cuz the ego is part of the human experience. It's part of what we're here to experience. And like it's literally the whole point, right?

We're not supposed to be souls living ethereally. We're supposed to be humans. So, polarity's part of the game. But, um, even though it's like, I knew all of these concepts, I started to notice how then suddenly, um, six figures wasn't good enough anymore because my friends were now making seven figures, you [00:27:00] know?

And it was like, I went through this phase where I literally felt like making six figures was shitter than when I made no money. you know, I was like, oh my God, like, I need to make more money. How can I make more money? And it was almost like starting to become an obsession and it happened so subtly that I almost didn't catch it.

And then I noticed it was happening. And I was like, oh my God, this is so interesting. And I noticed even how, like, even though I like everything that I've offered, I really, really love, but I noticed how there was a phase where it was almost like I was like, I need to offer this so that it can create da, da, da, da, da in my life.

And I just recently, like the last year, I was like, basically I wasn't fully in my business because I was pregnant. And then I had a baby and I was on maternity leave for the last four months. During my pregnancy, I was sick because I have like severe nausea and vomiting in my pregnancies, which is like not fun.

That's like the whole way through the pregnancy. Um, and so I've like not really [00:28:00] shown up fully in a year. The last four months I had completely off. And it's been like the most beautiful space for introspection and reflection. And it's so funny because even though I know that the work that I do can absolutely unlock people to making their six figures, their seven figures, like whatever.

In so many of my past clients, like I have multiple past clients that are millionaires now. And I'm just like, of course you are . Um, but not saying that it was only me, but you know, like I, I just, the foundation of the, the work that I teach is can unlock that for people. And anyway, so. Now I'm noticing that it's like the feeling of teaching money feels so different to me again, it's just like, I don't even care about like those marketing techniques.

They just don't feel authentic and real for me anymore. Um, I just want people's lives to actually change. Like, I want you to walk away with what you learn in the rest of your life. Be better and feel more abundant and joyful because of it. And you just happen to make more money along the way. [00:29:00] Yeah. Cool.

Meaghan: I love that. You said that your, the actual money making didn't come immediately, like you started shifting your relationship with money and you felt better about the abundance in your life, and you felt better about the, your current situation with money, but then it didn't, you know, it, it took a while for, for it to catch up to you.

Yeah. And, and the internal, like shifts that you were making mm-hmm . I love that, cuz I feel like that's how I teach money as well with, with pleasure and everything intertwined because it is such a worthiness piece and our self worth finally clicking into place. And then. Slowly the money starts to follow as we claim that self worth over and over and over again.

Mm-hmm and choose our pleasure. Every time we, we choose to, to swipe our card or pay a bill or whatever it is, 

Viola: mm-hmm . [00:30:00] Mm-hmm . I love that. And I love how you said, like choose it every time, because that's what it is about it is. And that's, I think the moral of the story of what I just shared is like, um, even though I knew these concepts, I'd become complacent with some of those choices, I feel like with, with money in some ways.

And so suddenly, even though I was in complete overflow, more than I'd ever been in my life, there was still parts of me that were like, but I'm not enough, but this isn't enough, but it should be more, but, you know, and, and, um, I've I've been dismantling this idea for so long, but I think it's also part of dismantling the patriarchy and it's something that's meant to be discovered in layers, but.

Even though making more money is still a goal that's totally allowed and, and totally amazing because money is such a powerful tool for us as humans, for both our own pleasure, our own experiences that we get to have, but also, um, who we get to be in the world and what we get to do when we have money.

Like there's just so many awesome benefits to being rich. [00:31:00] Yeah. Um, But at the same time, it's like the hierarchy of it always needing to be more like this month needs to be more than last month and this month needs to be more than the next month, whatever. Or, you know, like, the hierarchy of always needing it to be more I'm like we are cyclical beings.

Like we are gonna go through times in our life where it's gonna be growth, growth, growth, growth, growth, and that's gonna be, what's so fun. And then there's gonna be other times where there's growth in other areas of my life. And like, my relationship is a great example of that because we've been together for 11 years and that's 11 years of a lot of life changes and, um, As you would know and there's been like times in our relationship where we've really prioritized, like careers been the number one thing we've prioritized.

There's been times of our relationship where intimacy was the number one thing we prioritized. There's been times where like right now parenting is the number one thing that we're prioritizing. And it doesn't negate any of the rest of our relationship. And it doesn't mean [00:32:00] that we're like, it doesn't mean that we don't care about anything else, just because something's not a priority.

It's just, we're going through the different ebbs and flows of life and the different cycles of life and different things feel important at different times. And I wish we would give ourselves that grace sometimes when it came to business and when it came to money, because we often have a narrative that if it's not always going up, it's not good enough.

Or, or we're we're, um, plateauing or we're this, or we're that, and it's. No, like . Yeah. It's like, I don't have all the answers for that, but I definitely know that it's an inner game. Yeah. What came 

Meaghan: up for me was when you were saying, you know, one month has to be more than the next, more than next. And when it's not like, what does that say about me?

Yeah. Like what, what does that mean about me? If I'm not compounding my income? What if it goes down? If I make $0 the month after I made 10 K mm-hmm, like, what, what am I missing? And constantly trying to fix. And. [00:33:00] Answer a question that doesn't even exist to begin with. Like, it has nothing to do with our, with us or our worthiness and mm-hmm yeah.

It's just a fascinating piece 

Viola: of the puzzle. It is. And that's like the exact experience that I had the first time that I made $20,000. It wasn't yay. Oh my God. This is so amazing and abundant. It was how the F am I gonna do it again? Yeah. And I remember that feeling. I was scared. I was. And I didn't make $20,000 the next month.

And I felt like shit about it. yeah. And it was like, in hindsight, I'm like, Ugh, honey, but like at the time, yeah. At the time, it was like, I really started to make it mean things about me, which it doesn't, it, it doesn't at all. And in hindsight, it's like, we're not looking like this month I made this and this month I made that.

It's like, when I look back at that year, I was like, oh my gosh, I was in Hawaii when that happened. And I did this with my partner and that's the year that I got pregnant with my first kid, you know, like, that's what I'm thinking about. I'm not thinking, oh, well I made this much. And then I didn't make that much.[00:34:00] 

Meaghan: Yeah. Right. So while we're talking about money, before we move on to the next topic, what would you say is your like current money, like, um, hurdle that you're working on 

Viola: right now? I think, uh, reflecting off what we've already talked about, it's like really this for me now. It's like, how am I really showing up in this world of being a teacher of money and, um, Bringing this new kind of like awareness and realization that I had where it's still like, you get to have more money, but it's not about having more money, you know?

And for me that's been it's yeah. I've lately been working on that other layer because like I said, I took maternity leave. I actively wasn't working, which we planned for, but when I didn't see the money that would normally come in from like live things that I was doing, I had a moment of like, and I was like, oh, this is another layer for me.

You know? So it was just another way for me to like, get into deeper acceptance and, [00:35:00] and actually finding out like, where's the real motivator here when it comes to money. Where's the real, like where, where is there parts of me that are still holding onto what I think other people are gonna think if they found out that, you know, like all of these mind chatter things.

And so. Like, what I know is that I live an incredibly abundant and privileged and amazing life. And I don't ever wanna be in a place where I am like not believing that or not living that because of an external circumstance. Like. How much money you make or this. So for me, that's been like really a lot of the internal work, um, and what I'm like really navigating, bringing more into the, the world of money and business in our online coaching world.

Yeah. I love that. 

Meaghan: And what a like, test of faith and like self assurance taking almost an entire year off of your business. Like, [00:36:00] you know, like you have that must have challenged every single piece of like your business identity that you ever set into 

Viola: place. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, it was like only really four months off properly, but the rest of the time was like, I should have been off really.

It would've saved myself stress, but it was like, I was really not showing up anywhere as I normally could, because I was literally throwing up all day every day and trying to parent a toddler. Yeah. But yeah, it is like that. And that's like that. That's why I feel like, so. You know, if I'm proud of the work that I've done recently, it's like really of like I'm living. One.

It's been proof to me that all the abundance work that I did at the beginning really, really does transform your life because my husband and I like talked about it. We had, we've had like so many crazy things happen the last year as well. It felt like honestly, like probably one of the hardest years in terms of all the

crazy shit that happened. But like, we talked about how there was like, even when there was really like [00:37:00] unexpected things coming up financially or these things, like, we never felt that stress or worry that we used to feel all the time. It was just like a normal, everyday part of life for us back then that I didn't actually think you would ever live without , you know, and it, and I realize that I can like feel that regardless of the financial situation now, and that was like, I'm like so proud of this work, I'm really proud of this work.

And because the thing is money's never gonna change the way we feel about money. That's the important thing to realize is that, um, and all of the examples I gave are just proof of that, but it's like, you can have, be making no money and feel a particular way about yourself and your financial situation.

And there's also people who are absolutely rich, who are, um, you know, they hoard their money or they do this with their money because they still feel scarcity. The feeling of abundance and scarcity is not related to the amount of money that we have. 

Meaghan: Yeah, I have said it before, but I'm sure Jeff Bezos has those [00:38:00] thoughts sometimes of like, what if it all goes away tomorrow?

Like, 

Viola: well, that's what I mean. It's like, these people are so rich, they can literally solve like all of the major problems in the world right now. and that, that like our money related and they're still like, no, but it would put a tiny dent into my billions it's like, right. Oh, yeah, 

Meaghan: well, yeah, I'm sure like your pleasure practice has been a major.

Part of like you implementing like a nervous system that can handle mm-hmm all the, all the life changes you've gone through over the last three or four years since having two babies. And mm-hmm, moving back to Nova Scotia and like all of that kind of stuff. Like tell, tell us a little bit about how you connect pleasure to your money.

Viola: Yeah. So, um, Exactly. Like what you said in terms of [00:39:00] the, like using it to regulate your nervous system? I think so many of us are disconnected from our body and I think that's one of the things that like the patriarchy thrives off is women particularly being disconnected from their body and men really like, you know, men aren't allowed to feel emotions and all these different things either.

But particularly in my experience, it's been about this like connection with the body and realizing that like, I. Um, through like, through living in the system where I'm just like living in it versus then being conscious and like choosing how I live in within it. It's like, I didn't know what I liked. I didn't like physically pleasure and pleasure and sex, like, even in just like.

Like I said before, like my favorite color, even when it comes to like all these different things, there's so much about myself that I didn't, like, I had a numb connection with my body, with my emotion, because I'd always thought that emotions were weak. And so I disconnected myself in that way. Right. Like I always thought like, When I learned bro [00:40:00] culture business, it's like, oh, you can't be emotional.

You can't have emotions, put those away. Um, and so there's like, so, so much disconnection from the body. And what I've really learned is that our body is such a powerful metaphor in a sense of what we're able to hold. And I mean, it is kind of like the tuning fork for it all, really, but it's like how we feel is makes such a big difference to what we experience.

So, um, I mean, there are so many examples that prove this. You walk into a room and someone's been fighting, you feel it in your body. You walk into the room and it's a good, happy vibe, everyone's getting along, you feel it in your body. It's like it completely either relaxes you or tenses you up. And the same thing is true with so much of, um, like scarcity and abundance.

We feel it in our body when we're feeling the feeling and. When we get more in connection with our body, we are so much more hyper aware of the things that are really, um, serving us or not [00:41:00] serving us. And so the first reclamation of pleasure for me was really just like getting back into connection with my body and paying attention to.

What I liked and also realizing this is like my body, especially when we talk about like pleasure from a sexuality perspective, it was just like, I was, felt too much shame to even touch myself. Like I was like, I did it, but I would be very shameful about it, you know? And I'd be like, I can never tell anybody this, this is the most embarrassing thing ever.

And then when I started to like, work on those thoughts. I was like, this is very messed up, like in what world and how did this come to be that people are embarrassed to touch themselves? And like, feel pleasure? Like where, how, what I'm gonna punch that concept in the face. Cuz it is not welcome. Like I'm feeling very I'm outwardly violent, apparently jokingly, jokingly.

But um, anyway, and so then I, then I started to work on that relationship. And [00:42:00] so the way that it then ultimately connected with money is because money is money. Listen, abundance, pleasure. Gratitude are almost one and the same frequency. And I often say to clients like if clients are really struggling, feeling pleasure in their life, which pleasure sexually, but

upwards. That's like pleasure of the joy in our life. Right? Like literally pleasure is how much are you actually enjoying your life? How much do you feel good when you have hit a milestone? Like let's say you make money and you wanna celebrate it. Can you actually feel it? Like, does it, do you feel it in your body?

When you're eating delicious food, are you feeling it in your body? Like, do you feel it, is it actually bringing pleasure? And so many of us are disconnected from that. If people are having trouble feeling that, I recommend they play with the energy of abundance or gratitude, if somebody's wanting to feel more abundance in their life and they can't access the energy of abundance, work with gratitude.

Right. Gratitude's actually the frequency that I worked with at the beginning, because it was the only one that was accessible to me. And. At the time right. That I [00:43:00] could access. And so it was hard for me, but I like really trained myself to feel grateful for very, very, very simple things. So when I say that I felt abundance in my life, it was because I'd learned to be grateful for my situation and see my situation or see things that were happening.

Like when I saw an angel number, I'd be like, ah, oh my gosh, thank you, universe, like, yeah, I'd get like a little ridiculous and silly about it, which is also why playfulness is such a fun business concept. But, um, I'd like allow pleasure and abundance into my body through gratitude. And so we can use all these different frequencies.

Um, but then it's like, there's so many layered concepts here as well because self-worth, money, um, pleasure. All related, right? Like our willingness to be able to receive, all related. Um, how I talk about, like my podcast is called Spirit Sex Money. The three pillars, really representing spirit, our soul, our innate worthiness, our innate abundance. Sex being our actual [00:44:00] physical experience of it being human.

Right? Like our soul can guide us all we want, but if we're not here having the human experience, there's no point and then money, which is our mission and our vision and everything like that. But, um, Yeah. I, I dunno if I answered your question, but it feels like, yeah. 

Meaghan: Yeah, that was, that was beautiful. I love that

you said that pleasure is being able to like experience your life because that's, that is my exact definition of pleasure. It's it's feeling like I've lived my life so much to the fullest where like, even when I'm bawling crying. I'm in pleasure because I am feeling something. I feel like the opposite of opposite of pleasure.

Yes. Is like, you know, um, what's the 

Viola: word? Um,

like an dissociation or a numbness, like association, but 

Meaghan: like, um, like. [00:45:00] When you don't feel like either, or you're just kind of, oh, apathy, apathy. Yeah. That's a good word. Yeah. But like, um, yeah, the opposite of pleasure is like apathy and not, not being in, not, not being able to feel anything like for so long.

I was just kind of like. In this state of indifference. That's the word I was looking for

Viola: that's. Yeah. Mm-hmm mm-hmm 

Meaghan: mm-hmm indifference. And so when I am in a state of like massive grief or massive anger or anything like that, like it's the dirt, it's the hell. It's the, it's the grime. And it's also the gold and like all of the fun and like feel good stuff.

Mm-hmm for me, pleasure, encompasses like when I'm living my life. That's when I'm in pleasure. Mm-hmm and it takes like it, um, makes room for the full range of human 

Viola: emotions. Yeah. I love that. You said that because I do agree. It's, it's our ability to feel it [00:46:00] all as well and, and not feel, um, just like, you know, with money,

it's like, we feel like, oh, it's good if it's this much, but it's bad if it's that much. No, with our emotions, it's the same thing. And our, what we feel it's like, it's good if it's this emotion, but it's bad if it's that emotion. No, it's like, we get to feel it all, and some feelings feel uncomfortable, but. Um, pleasure is the, the true expression of that.

And you know, that feeling when, like, after you have a really good cry. Yeah. Euphoric the same with like, um, you know, there's like a sacred anger practice that I do. And, and the whole point is transmuting, anger to pleasure. It's literally like the same. Yeah. But just different expressions of it and, yeah.

That's cool. Yeah. 

Meaghan: So I would love to also talk about how you connect to your like business entity through pleasure. Do you like commune with, you know, Viola Hug the business and ask, ask them [00:47:00] for guidance and stuff like that? 

Viola: uh, for me, it's actually, when you said it like that, I'm like, oh, I guess I don't necessarily in that sentence, but I do in other ways, like, so, um, oh, I guess I, I do, but I see it differently.

I think so it's like, for me, I've always had this like sense of, um, being guided. Like I said, like I had my spiritual awakening. Checking with my spirit team around my business decisions is like how I joke that spirit was my first business coach, because that's how I made all my decisions in my business at the start.

Like I said, I didn't have money. So I used what was most next successful for me. Um, but through that, it was like, I, I did create this like energy of my vision of my vocation, which I guess is my business. Um, and, um, this, this. Beautiful like ever evolving piece. And, and I see it visually quite often, like I see like the, the colors or the energetics or the impact of [00:48:00] what my work is really doing in the world.

And that's one of the ways that I really connect with it. And it's been interesting for me because both through, through things like meditation and just like being in my body to more, um, Like other practices, such as like a self-pleasure practice or, uh, uh, breathwork practice or different things like that of just really being in my body.

That's one of the ways that I use to expand the feelings of pleasure, abundance, and also purpose and like how I want to impact. So like an example of that would be like, I might be in a practice where I'm imagining, like how people will feel or transform within a container that I'm hosting. And I'm using this practice to like push this energy out into the world and like create more of like, um, a vibration of that around myself and my business.

I 

Meaghan: I love that. Mm-hmm yeah. It, it sounds like you really are able to connect with each container and the transformation that it's going to [00:49:00] provide to your 

Viola: clients. Mm-hmm yeah. Yeah. And it's. Because that's how I started off all of my early, um, before it was even about clients, you know, like I'd always start off with like, this is what I'm feeling and I'm pushing it out to the world, you know, like that kind of thing.

And I think that's like one of the big, energetic things that I still love to do with my business. 

Meaghan: I love that. I'm gonna, I'm gonna use that in my pleasure practice today. Mm-hmm perfect. Well, thank you so much Viola I've. I mean, I have a million questions we could go on for hours probably 

Viola: and I love to talk if it's not apparent. I always say like, when, like I used to have a podcast that I did interviews for, I have my podcast now is just a solo podcast, but I always said like, you can tell when you interview other podcasters because they know how to talk.

Meaghan: Yeah, I love that. Well, it was great having a conversation with you. Is there anything that you'd like to leave my audience with? Like a one liner or like a, um, something that's coming through for [00:50:00] you from spirit? 

Viola: I think, um, Hmm. Let's see. Hold on. There's like 50 things that I wanna say, because this conversation is so needed.

The one thing that I wanna leave you with is this remembrance that oftentimes on our way to, to the place, you know, we, we don't have a clear vision yet, we don't have a clear understanding of how it's all gonna work out and what it's gonna mean to us in hindsight. But when we look back, we see so much meaning in the decisions that we made.

And so it's so, so, so important to just get into that into your body and into like, a true connection with yourself and trust, whatever is coming through for you and move with that feeling in your world. You know, whether that's a decision that you're making for your business, in your personal life. Um, whatever it might be.

My biggest example of this was when I was in my labor. You know, like when I when I was in it, I know I would constantly go into my mind and stress [00:51:00] that it wasn't happening the way that it should, because I have very unique labors, but that's a story for another day. But, you know, like, and I had all of these like worries and I kept like bringing myself back to this in hindsight, it's gonna be perfect, in hindsight

it's gonna be perfect. And literally it was. So magical in hindsight. And it was like, now I can see why, why every little thing that happened, how it played a role, but at the time it felt random and it felt weird and it felt scary. Um, but in hindsight it was just so magical. And, um, we can look back on everything like that, whether we're driving lessons in hindsight or whether we are reveling in the experience of what we had to, we got to experience.

And so. Yeah, leaning into that trust and moving with where your body and your pleasure and your soul is guiding you and letting yourself be surprised in hindsight, be, have that clarity in hindsight. 

Meaghan: I love that. I love the, the idea of allowing life and money and sex to [00:52:00] surprise and delight us. Mm-hmm specifically with money, like allowing money to delight and like,

you know, like give us little gifts here and there and surprises. I I'm someone, I love surprises. Mm-hmm and a lot of people don't like surprises, but I'm like money surprised me more, 

Viola: I want more. Yeah. I love that. It's one of my favorite things when I'm like just doing something casually and I look down and I get like a notification of a payment.

I'm like, oh, I love it. Yeah. Take delight in 

Meaghan: it. Well, beautiful. Okay. So tell the people where they can find you and plug whatever, um, offer you got going on right now. 

Viola: Amazing. So I am @violahug on pretty much everything. My favorite place is to hang out right now are TikTok and Instagram. So if you wanna come hang out with me there, and then the next best place to get kind of my communications would be my email list, which you can find on my website, violahug.com.

Like there's a signup form there. Um, [00:53:00] and I'm always open to DMs. If you have any more questions or whatever, and in terms of what I'm doing and my offers, I am just about to open up, um, private coaching spaces again. But like I said, I am really letting myself be delighted with what I'm creating at the moment.

You'll be able to see whatever I have currently on offer. If you click on any of those links. Um, but it's all base. Oh, we didn't even talk about human design. Oh my gosh. But another really powerful piece, but it's all based on like really, um, self liberation and reclamation through your own individual energetics, pleasure,

like really, like the point of being successful, but actually enjoying your life along the way. 

Meaghan: true because what is success without 

Viola: life? Literally? And I think we forget that sometimes, right? Like . Yeah. Um, because. The patriarchal conditioning, but whenever , we'll fight it, one, one, um, moment of pleasure at a time.

[00:54:00] Exactly. 

Meaghan: Well, thank you, Viola for joining me. And, um, I will put all the links in the show notes and we'll have to get you on again to talk about human design because I please, yeah. Fascinated. I'm a manifesting generator. Mm-hmm and so my sacral authority is like, literally I go by my gut mm-hmm at every moment.

I'm. Okay. What, what would feel good to me next? And, and just like yes or no from the gut and then I'm, I'm doing it. 

Viola: Yes. I love that. Oh my gosh. Yeah. If we have like a whole episode on it, I can like really dive in deep and also bring in gene keys into it because they, they work really well together. Yeah.

Yeah. I haven't looked into Jean keys, but I'm fascinated by it. Hmm. That's so fun. okay. Well, 

Meaghan: we'll talk later. Okay. 

Viola: Okay. Bye. Bye. 

Viola Hug Interview

Meaghan: [00:00:00] Welcome back to the Pleasurable Money Podcast. I'm your host, Meaghan, and I'm so happy to have you here. Today, I've got Viola Hug on the podcast and we are gonna talk all things, entrepreneurship, money, pleasure, sex, human design, which I have not talked about on the podcast yet, so very exciting. 

Viola: Mm-hmm

Meaghan: and dismantling the patriarchy. Viola, would you like to say a little intro?

Viola: Yeah. Hello. Hello to those that are listening, I'm excited to be here. I love all of these conversations, so I'm, I feel like it's the perfect fit to be here. um, and yeah, for those of you who are meeting me for the first time, my name's Viola hug, I'm a writer, speaker, and a mentor, and I'm the owner of a multiple six figure company.

And alongside my business world. I am also a mom to two Little's. I go by she/they [00:01:00] pronouns. I've been married to my husband for, um, 11, 11 over 11 years now. 

Meaghan: Wow. 

Viola: I lose track, but it's been a long ass time. Um, a great long ass time. Um, and yeah, like, I, I feel like my, my journey's just like ever unfolding with all of these beautiful pieces of, um, really finding what feels so important to me in bringing more joy and pleasure and abundant experiences into people's lives.

Um, and so much of that lies in the core foundations of what you mentioned, like dismantling the patriarchy and all that fun stuff. 

Meaghan: Yeah. Well, I'd love to start there. 

Viola: Yeah 

Meaghan: Because I'm always fascinated about people's ideas for dismantling the patriarchy. And I feel like people have their own ideas. And everything's so unique, the way people go about breaking down the systems that we have set in place. And 

Viola: mm-hmm, [00:02:00] 

Meaghan: blazing the trail for people who have been so marginalized for so long 

Viola: mm-hmm

Meaghan: So I'd love to talk about what your favorite way to dismantle the patriarchy and some of like the more creative ways that you've taught your clients, or maybe your clients have come up with 

Viola: mm-hmm 

Meaghan: their own ways.

Viola: Yeah. I mean, I feel like the whole concept is, um, to me is really like a reclamation of our own uniqueness versus trying like shaming ourselves, or even subconsciously feeling shame about who we really are and what we really desire and the power we have. Like it goes into so much of it. And I kind of stumbled into this idea of like, wait a second.

This is all linked to this bullshit, like concept of, you know, systems set up by men, very fragile men. And, um, it, for me, it was because like I started my entrepreneurship journey 10 years [00:03:00] ago now, and I was doing a whole bunch of different things at the beginning. You know, it was kind of like one of those things where I'd find opportunities or opportunities would find me. And I'd be like, I'm gonna try this because maybe this is the thing. And I knew it was entrepreneurship, but I hadn't really found my voice because I was so conditioned by the external world, I was seeking external validation and everything. You know, I thought when I made money, then people would respect me.

I thought when I was successful, then I would feel like I can relax. I thought, you know, like all of these, um, externally driven thoughts, which, I mean spoiler alert, which isn't probably a surprise to anybody, but it turned out when I could internally validate myself and kind of turn more inward that finally those things I was seeking actually came.

But we can still have money and we can still have success in various human ways, um, in allowing that to happen. But I was so externally driven and, um, I burnt myself out and I was listening [00:04:00] to like, what I now see is actually like hustle culture. And I was listening to very old paradigm business tactics and all of these things that intuitively didn't feel right.

But I pushed my intuition to the side, cuz I thought. Who am I? Like, I'm just a young, you know, 20 year old. I don't know anything. I need to follow these like rich successful 60, 50 year olds. like 70 year olds. And I'm just like, now I'm like, what were you thinking? But I burnt myself out and I was broke.

Like I was so broke, no matter how hard I tried, like I, every year, like I, I, at new year's, I would like set myself stricter refinements of what I was allowed to do, because I thought that it was my leisurely time that was taking away from me being successful. So I remember like 2017, which was um, the last year that I kind of like set myself a rule before I had my like great awakening.

It was also my Saturn return year, but I like made the rule that I wasn't allowed to watch any TV because I was like, [00:05:00] I, when I watch TV, I just like binge watch. And so it must be TV. That must be the reason why I'm not successful. Cuz you know, you hear old school business people be like, I don't watch TV and LA da, da, da.

Yeah. Um, and uh, then I had my um, saturn return that year. And I had two really huge awakenings. I had my abundance awakening and I had my spiritual awakening and I promised this all links together. And with those two awakenings, I started my business and I started my business with wanting to honor my own individual energetics, you know, finding human design, um, like being like, Hey, maybe emotional regulation is something I should look into.

Like maybe, honoring myself. I don't know, healing some of these things going on in my mind is a good idea. And my abundance awakening was like a culmination of me being in such bad debt that I had to start researching money and learning about money and all these different things. But then on, on an energetic level, it was actually almost like transcending just the concept of [00:06:00] money and really moving into the vibration of abundance and, and learning how to feel abundant, grateful, worthy.

Even when there wasn't an external proof that that was available. And then. Um, kind of fast forwarding, I built my business, it grew to multiple six figures. Then I had my first child and then I have boom sexual awakening. My third grade awakening. And that was kind of like the final piece for me. And that's where I really

started to see, because for me, the sexual awakening was a reclamation of pleasure. It was a reclamation of my body. It was a reclamation of my desires. It was like healing, shame about things that I didn't even notice that I held shame about. And sexuality. Yes. But it's almost so much more than that. It, to me, this whole pillar in my work represents our humanness.

It represents our experience. Um, and when I started to look into that, I realized like how. So much of what we believe like, oh, I, you know, I, I look [00:07:00] ugly, oh my God, I need to shave, oh my God. Like all of these thoughts that we complete always have on a loop in our mind is brought forward by the society that is actually kind of messed up when you think of the roots of all these things.

And so I started to pay attention to that and ultimately my, my version of dismantling the patriarchy comes back to radical self reclamation. And, um, just like being like, fuck you. I don't need to build my business in any type of way, and I can still be successful. Like, fuck you. I can have money. And I don't.

like. It's a little bit of like a rebellion, but it's also just like a I'm finally just gonna let myself be happy, like easier said than done, but you know, that's really what it comes down to. It's identifying all of these ways in which most or so many of our limiting beliefs come back to just a conditioning by a [00:08:00] society that isn't serving anyone. 

Meaghan: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Wow. That was, that was a lot of. Compounding your awareness of like, of like your, your reality. So like your three great awakenings were like, you know, The first thing you wanted to break through and blaze your own path with and like not listen to what you've been told to do. And then you're like, okay, well maybe I can do this with money and then, okay, well maybe I can do this with my sexuality and my pleasure and who I am in my body.

So like it's just compounding and I'm sure you're gonna have many more great awakenings. And you're just gonna add to the list of like things that you're rebelling and, and reclaiming, like you said, like it's a right. It's a total reclamation. 

Viola: I like have like one more point. I just wanna add, because I feel like it's so relevant for your audience, but [00:09:00] like one of the big things the past couple years for me, which is like, I guess like a creative perspective as well.

Um, To some, uh, anyway, it was, to me when I was first kind of like diving into it, but one of the big things was like, even my gender identity and my sexuality were things that I like really in hindsight, just accepted by what the world told me, you know, I was just like, okay, yeah. Like the world's like, you're a woman and I'm like, okay.

And the world's like, you're straight. Okay. You know? And it was. Um, and it's just been really interesting because I have a sister who I identifies on the non-binary spectrum. I do in a way as well, which is why I go by she, they pronouns. But like, to me, it was, um, such a reclamation of that as well. It was like, I, the more I started to look into my own identity,

and I, it's funny, cuz I started this years ago, but my first thing I ever learned about myself and this sounds crazy, but it was my favorite color and I find it really interesting cuz when I say that a lot of people [00:10:00] say, huh, that's true. I don't actually know my favorite color either because I'm so conditioned by the outside world and always responding.

And um, that also mixed with like a couple of neuro divergencies that I have. It's like, I just didn't know myself at all. And now it's going to such deeper layers of realizing that literally like everything about our identity is, is put on us. And unless we're actively seeking to question our identity, who we are, our power, we are not fully like in our true essence.

And it really comes back when we talk about business and success and money, I believe the more we become our own like unique frequency who are really designed to be the easier successes, because there's no noise between our innate abundance, our innate worthiness and our external experience anymore. Um, And sometimes what the world told us is true about ourselves, but sometimes it's not.

And so I think that's why it's so important to, um, to really question everything. [00:11:00] 

Meaghan: Over and over again, because even if, 

Viola: yeah, exactly. 

Meaghan: Even if the question, the answer was one thing, one day it's gonna, it might be a different thing. 

Viola: Oh yeah. 

Meaghan: The next day.

Viola: That's such a good point. 

Meaghan: I love that you brought that up because I do have a, a wide queer audience and I've got a ton of queer friends.

Viola: Mm-hmm 

Meaghan: who are constantly breaking down what it means to be a woman or to have a pussy or you know what that means in the world. Do you wanna talk a little bit more about, do you identify as queer or is it more just, 

Viola: yeah. 

Meaghan: Okay, cool. I'd love to hear more about that, um, process for you to awaken into. 

Viola: Yeah. Um, like in hindsight, and this is why I love hindsight because everything's so much clearer , but in hindsight, I'm like, I was always queer AF, but I also had such I guess internalized homophobia in a way, you know, like I always just thought, and this comes back to my worth. Honestly, like when I said before that I was seeking [00:12:00] the external world for validation, for things, one of those things for me was I thought if a man thought I was attractive, that I was worthy, I really did.

And as, um, someone who is, you know, AFAB woman, somebody who's grown up as a woman in society, it's like, we are really seen as objects which is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but we are, we are really seen as, um, objects in this patriarchal society. And that's just apparent with how so many of us crave that attention.

And so in hindsight, so much of my actual quote, unquote attraction to men was really just seeking validation that I was good enough. And it's not that I, I, I mainly identify as queer. I sometimes say bisexual, but I just love like the word queer. Is that what feels the most like me? Yeah. Um, And I am married to a man and we have a very hetero presenting relationship, but we're both queer in our, [00:13:00] you know, in our own

right. Um, but that's like when I was growing up, it was almost like I never gave myself the opportunity to explore because I was also in those early, like, or late teen years and early 20 years while I was exploring my sexuality or like sexually active or whatever, I was in a very dark place. Like I just lost my dad to cancer.

I didn't have any support that I really needed in terms of like my mental health. I was severely depressed. I was, um, you know, trigger warning, but I was, you know, self-harming and suicidal. Like I was in a very, very dark place. And so I was really using a lot of my partying, a lot of my like relationships as a form of self harm.

Like I was not in a good place. And then it just so happened to be that as I started going, huh, this doesn't really feel right. And I started, um, you know, seeking therapy on my own, which was about five years after my dad passed away. When I was 21. Um, [00:14:00] within a year I met my partner and he's like the perfect match for me.

You know, we just like, we're amazing. We get on. And, and so it was almost like so much of my exploration of who I am and what my identity is from a healed perspective was never explored when I was single. And although I had experiences, but I was just put them off to like, oh, that's just like a thing, a one time thing, you know, or like, Like that kind of thing.

And if I found other women attractive or other people attractive, I would just have, like, I would just push it down and just assume I was straight or assume that wasn't a big deal. And then it wasn't. Yeah, until like a couple years ago, hashtag pandemic awakening um, it wasn't until then that I started like, you know, going on TikTok and hearing other people's experiences.

I'm like, wait, I think that all the time, and I heard this one thing say sometimes like, straight people don't think that everybody's queer. And I was like, wait, I, because I always used to be like, everyone's a little queer. Like [00:15:00] everyone's a little me do. That's 

Meaghan: what I, that's what I say too. Yeah. 

Viola: Yeah. And, and someone was like, no straight people don't think that I'm like, mm, I don't believe you.

Like everyone thinks everyone thinks that they're like, no really straight people don't think that. And I was like, Oh, . And so it's been really interesting because for me it's been like my exploration and like, I'm, I'm in a relationship, I'm happy. I'm we're monogamous and we like it that way. Like, we feel really good, but it's been an interesting experience of almost like this reclamation of really who I am.

Um, And being able to have those conversations with my partner, but to me, like now I just feel like so much more like this is so much more me. Like I'm so much more happy now in my identity. And it's yeah, it's very liberating. 

Meaghan: I love that. You, I love that you're an example of another person who identifies as queer, but is also in a hetero presenting relationship.

Viola: Mm-hmm 

Meaghan: Oftentimes, I feel not queer enough. 

Viola: Yeah. 

Meaghan: To be in spaces because [00:16:00] I am also in a hetero relationship with my husband and 

Viola: Mm-hmm,

Meaghan: we've also been together for 11 years. We've only been married for two, but, um, 

Viola: oh, that's awesome. 

Meaghan: We've been together for 11 years.

Viola: Yeah. 

Meaghan: Um, but. Yeah. And so I often feel like, okay, I am, I am a cis woman who identifies very much as she her and like, I'm married to a cis man.

And so like, nobody's gonna believe me when I'm in queer spaces. Like, they're just gonna think that I'm an ally, which, you know, like, you're, you're enough if you're an ally too, but it's just like, like I wanted to be a part of the, like I wanted to be in the, in the crowd, you know, like I wanna be 

Viola: in . Yeah. I felt that so many times too.

And it's um, yeah, I still feel that sometimes, especially because I have a lot of, um, like gay or lesbian friends, and then I often feel like I'm just like, Hey, like let's okay. but I think also like a part of [00:17:00] me, which is like there it's like hard either way in a way it's just different types of hard, because I feel like people who

have been outrightly, queer and had like very queer presenting relationships, even though my relationship's still a queer relationship, it just looks hetero. Right. But it's like, um, a lot of people who've had queer presenting relationships they've had to deal with, you know, the, all of the hardships that come along with that because our society is still

shit, basically when it comes to that, like, I love that there's like online spaces where we can really like warp our reality of how, um, accepted queer is. But in, in the greater scheme of things, like, and in America right now, like it's just so fucked. Like I can't even like. Ugh drives me nuts. And so they've had to deal with like a whole different set of things and I've never had to deal with that because I've been, um, I've had the privilege of having a hetero presenting relationship.

The like [00:18:00] basically my whole relationship life at the same time though, I've had an inner conflict this whole time. So it was like inner in my insides, I was like battling and I was like, not quite there, but, um, Yeah. So it's like, it's a different type of hard, but it's. Yeah. I, I love it when I meet other queer people who are, you know, in the similar position to you and I

Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm well, affirming. Something came up, 

Meaghan: um, when we were talking kind of around, like, how do you. When you were, uh, sorry, let me form this thought. yeah, no, it's fine. At the beginning of your business, or even whenever you go into an awakening and you're still kind of learning, how, how do you find yourself teaching your audience

things that are not fully formed for you yet? Mm-hmm either in business about money or whatever it was. 

Viola: Mm-hmm mm-hmm Okay, so. I have like, um, I guess like, I've [00:19:00] this, isn't a straightforward answer as with most of things in life, but I would say that there's like two aspects of it. One, I don't believe we ever really master something fully.

We are always continually in mastery. And I think that when, when we are in mastery of something, we be, we begin to understand it and see things from a different perspective. And all that really means like being in mastery of something is we are actively and, um, well, I guess just actively pursuing something.

So money is a really easy example, right? It's like if we, um, Well, I'll use my money example. So I had this like abundance awakening, but I wasn't making money yet. My abundance awakening was so much about like understanding the energetics behind making money or not just making money in terms of like how to sell, but more just like being available and open to receiving in our lives, like more the energetic side.

And so I started practicing these things and, um, then I, you know, I made like a thousand [00:20:00] dollars in my like second month in business and then I made like, I don't know, $1,500 a third month. And it was like a very slow start, but it was happening. And. For context. I was so broke at that time when I started my business, that we were staying with my mom, my husband and I, because we couldn't afford to find a place to rent and we couldn't afford food.

So like we stayed with her and my husband drove Uber so that we could pay our bills, which were thousands of dollars in debt. Like the bank's calling us like every freaking day. You need to make a payment, you need to make a payment. And we're like, oh my gosh. Like, it just felt like we were drowning in terms of our situation.

And there was so much of me who that felt shame for my situation, but as I started to like play with these energetics and just really commit myself to this, I started to feel different. So even though I was still in that position for the first, like few months of my business, particularly, um, like financially things hadn't really changed, cuz it was like every dollar I made had to go to pay this bill [00:21:00] had to go do this.

It wasn't like, we were like, oh, now we have a thousand extra dollars. Like it was like, no, like now we can pay this bill that's two years late. Um, so it was financially overall things weren't looking that good at the beginning, but energetically, I was feeling different because I was like, I could see like my vision and all these things that I wanted so much more.

I could really, like, I was like respecting my money in, in the ways that I'd been taught. And I was like, you know, like calculating everything, like making sure I knew what was going on with my money. And I was respecting it and I was energetically feeling grateful and happy nonetheless. And then. It was around like eight months into my business, that things really started to shift.

Um, and it was around that time that my husband and I decided to buy a one way ticket to Germany and be digital nomads. And I'd made like just enough money to pay for our tickets over. And that was like, it, it was like no credit, no savings, no nothing. And not. That I, I don't necessarily recommend people make like, quote [00:22:00] unquote reckless financial decisions, but there was like something about the way we were making that decision, that it didn't feel reckless, but it was like, in hindsight, I'm like, you are crazy.

Like, what were you doing. Anyway, very strong intuition that that was the right move. And for. The next, almost two years, we were digital nomads traveling full time. And in that time is when my business crossed six figures. And that times is when I started making, you know, multiple five figure months and all these like crazy, crazy things.

But, um, at the beginning I was so obsessed with this energy of abundance, because I was like, noticing how it was, it was changing my reality, even before I started making money. But then every time I made money, it was like a pop surprise of like, this is amazing. And so I, um, I basically would, at the beginning, if I was talking about abundance, it was really just like, kind of working with clients and noticing that they had like a lack thought or something of this, because it's something that I've been working on.

I might shift that for them, or I might take them into like, understanding where this thought might be coming from or that these [00:23:00] things that I had been in mastery of. So I wasn't necessarily teaching, Hey, I'm gonna teach you how to make money, but I was teaching, Hey, these are the concepts that have been really helpful for me around abundance and money.

And then I remember it was about like, It was just after or, or before, or it was around the time that I crossed six figures for my, um, business that I then felt like I'm ready to teach a money program, you know? And, and that's when I like reflected. And I thought to myself, what are all the things that I've done, like really went inward and like paid attention to what did I actually do?

Like, not just, what's a cool concept about money, cuz there's plenty of money concepts that I'd heard that I hadn't applied that feel really fun to teach, you know, just to regurgitate them. But I like gave myself, um, permission to just like really reflect and be like, what was my way? Like what really shifted it for me?

What really healed the stories for me? What, when did it really change? Like, and that's when I started to notice like, Hey, I was like seeking external validation here and I actually started [00:24:00] trusting myself here. Hey, like here's where I, you know, realized that I was completely neglecting the money in my life.

And here's where I started taking responsibility. So it was more so that like I gave myself space to only teach what was, what truly felt like it was working for me. And it was real for me versus, um, what I thought I should be teaching. I love that. 

Meaghan: I love that because I think a lot of coaches fall into this trap of like, people wanna hear that they can make 5k months mm-hmm or people wanna hear that they can make six figures with this program.

Mm-hmm so I have to promise them a certain dollar amount or I have to promise them like, you know, what I feel like they want, what, what bro marketing is telling me that all of my clients want mm-hmm . And so it's just really encouraging to hear that you allowed yourself to teach what was alive and real for you and not kind of step into the, [00:25:00] into

a bit of lying about what, what you wanted, what you were capable of, 

Viola: teaching someone. Yeah. And like, even then when I started, you know, like when I made $10,000 for the first time in a month, you know, then it became like such an easy marketing tool to be like, you know, I make 10K months and come learn from me.

And, um, and it definitely felt aligned at the time because the way that I was doing it at the time was from pure joy and inspiration. And it wasn't like, oh, now I have this cool thing. Like, it was just like, Inspiration and, and everything, but it's interesting because you know, you talk about how you mentioned like, oh, we're gonna keep having awakenings and there's gonna be new layers, a hundred percent.

It's like the way that I feel now about money is so different. And I know it's one of the things you wanted to talk about as well, but like, it's been so interesting watching my money evolution completely evolved because, you know, I went from this place where I had a really terrible relationship with money and I was really broke to then having a [00:26:00] good relationship with money in the sense of how I felt about money, but still being broke.

And then I started making money and. Then I had money. And then, um, the most interesting thing happened, even though I was aware of all of these concepts of like, you know, it's not about, money's not gonna change your worth. Like it's about you needing to feel really good. And the money's just kind of like a bonus.

And, um, it's a complex topic for the mind because our humanness really likes to put things in categories and our human mind is always gonna be driven by ego in some respect. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, cuz the ego is part of the human experience. It's part of what we're here to experience. And like it's literally the whole point, right?

We're not supposed to be souls living ethereally. We're supposed to be humans. So, polarity's part of the game. But, um, even though it's like, I knew all of these concepts, I started to notice how then suddenly, um, six figures wasn't good enough anymore because my friends were now making seven figures, you [00:27:00] know?

And it was like, I went through this phase where I literally felt like making six figures was shitter than when I made no money. you know, I was like, oh my God, like, I need to make more money. How can I make more money? And it was almost like starting to become an obsession and it happened so subtly that I almost didn't catch it.

And then I noticed it was happening. And I was like, oh my God, this is so interesting. And I noticed even how, like, even though I like everything that I've offered, I really, really love, but I noticed how there was a phase where it was almost like I was like, I need to offer this so that it can create da, da, da, da, da in my life.

And I just recently, like the last year, I was like, basically I wasn't fully in my business because I was pregnant. And then I had a baby and I was on maternity leave for the last four months. During my pregnancy, I was sick because I have like severe nausea and vomiting in my pregnancies, which is like not fun.

That's like the whole way through the pregnancy. Um, and so I've like not really [00:28:00] shown up fully in a year. The last four months I had completely off. And it's been like the most beautiful space for introspection and reflection. And it's so funny because even though I know that the work that I do can absolutely unlock people to making their six figures, their seven figures, like whatever.

In so many of my past clients, like I have multiple past clients that are millionaires now. And I'm just like, of course you are . Um, but not saying that it was only me, but you know, like I, I just, the foundation of the, the work that I teach is can unlock that for people. And anyway, so. Now I'm noticing that it's like the feeling of teaching money feels so different to me again, it's just like, I don't even care about like those marketing techniques.

They just don't feel authentic and real for me anymore. Um, I just want people's lives to actually change. Like, I want you to walk away with what you learn in the rest of your life. Be better and feel more abundant and joyful because of it. And you just happen to make more money along the way. [00:29:00] Yeah. Cool.

Meaghan: I love that. You said that your, the actual money making didn't come immediately, like you started shifting your relationship with money and you felt better about the abundance in your life, and you felt better about the, your current situation with money, but then it didn't, you know, it, it took a while for, for it to catch up to you.

Yeah. And, and the internal, like shifts that you were making mm-hmm . I love that, cuz I feel like that's how I teach money as well with, with pleasure and everything intertwined because it is such a worthiness piece and our self worth finally clicking into place. And then. Slowly the money starts to follow as we claim that self worth over and over and over again.

Mm-hmm and choose our pleasure. Every time we, we choose to, to swipe our card or pay a bill or whatever it is, 

Viola: mm-hmm . [00:30:00] Mm-hmm . I love that. And I love how you said, like choose it every time, because that's what it is about it is. And that's, I think the moral of the story of what I just shared is like, um, even though I knew these concepts, I'd become complacent with some of those choices, I feel like with, with money in some ways.

And so suddenly, even though I was in complete overflow, more than I'd ever been in my life, there was still parts of me that were like, but I'm not enough, but this isn't enough, but it should be more, but, you know, and, and, um, I've I've been dismantling this idea for so long, but I think it's also part of dismantling the patriarchy and it's something that's meant to be discovered in layers, but.

Even though making more money is still a goal that's totally allowed and, and totally amazing because money is such a powerful tool for us as humans, for both our own pleasure, our own experiences that we get to have, but also, um, who we get to be in the world and what we get to do when we have money.

Like there's just so many awesome benefits to being rich. [00:31:00] Yeah. Um, But at the same time, it's like the hierarchy of it always needing to be more like this month needs to be more than last month and this month needs to be more than the next month, whatever. Or, you know, like, the hierarchy of always needing it to be more I'm like we are cyclical beings.

Like we are gonna go through times in our life where it's gonna be growth, growth, growth, growth, growth, and that's gonna be, what's so fun. And then there's gonna be other times where there's growth in other areas of my life. And like, my relationship is a great example of that because we've been together for 11 years and that's 11 years of a lot of life changes and, um, As you would know and there's been like times in our relationship where we've really prioritized, like careers been the number one thing we've prioritized.

There's been times of our relationship where intimacy was the number one thing we prioritized. There's been times where like right now parenting is the number one thing that we're prioritizing. And it doesn't negate any of the rest of our relationship. And it doesn't mean [00:32:00] that we're like, it doesn't mean that we don't care about anything else, just because something's not a priority.

It's just, we're going through the different ebbs and flows of life and the different cycles of life and different things feel important at different times. And I wish we would give ourselves that grace sometimes when it came to business and when it came to money, because we often have a narrative that if it's not always going up, it's not good enough.

Or, or we're we're, um, plateauing or we're this, or we're that, and it's. No, like . Yeah. It's like, I don't have all the answers for that, but I definitely know that it's an inner game. Yeah. What came 

Meaghan: up for me was when you were saying, you know, one month has to be more than the next, more than next. And when it's not like, what does that say about me?

Yeah. Like what, what does that mean about me? If I'm not compounding my income? What if it goes down? If I make $0 the month after I made 10 K mm-hmm, like, what, what am I missing? And constantly trying to fix. And. [00:33:00] Answer a question that doesn't even exist to begin with. Like, it has nothing to do with our, with us or our worthiness and mm-hmm yeah.

It's just a fascinating piece 

Viola: of the puzzle. It is. And that's like the exact experience that I had the first time that I made $20,000. It wasn't yay. Oh my God. This is so amazing and abundant. It was how the F am I gonna do it again? Yeah. And I remember that feeling. I was scared. I was. And I didn't make $20,000 the next month.

And I felt like shit about it. yeah. And it was like, in hindsight, I'm like, Ugh, honey, but like at the time, yeah. At the time, it was like, I really started to make it mean things about me, which it doesn't, it, it doesn't at all. And in hindsight, it's like, we're not looking like this month I made this and this month I made that.

It's like, when I look back at that year, I was like, oh my gosh, I was in Hawaii when that happened. And I did this with my partner and that's the year that I got pregnant with my first kid, you know, like, that's what I'm thinking about. I'm not thinking, oh, well I made this much. And then I didn't make that much.[00:34:00] 

Meaghan: Yeah. Right. So while we're talking about money, before we move on to the next topic, what would you say is your like current money, like, um, hurdle that you're working on 

Viola: right now? I think, uh, reflecting off what we've already talked about, it's like really this for me now. It's like, how am I really showing up in this world of being a teacher of money and, um, Bringing this new kind of like awareness and realization that I had where it's still like, you get to have more money, but it's not about having more money, you know?

And for me that's been it's yeah. I've lately been working on that other layer because like I said, I took maternity leave. I actively wasn't working, which we planned for, but when I didn't see the money that would normally come in from like live things that I was doing, I had a moment of like, and I was like, oh, this is another layer for me.

You know? So it was just another way for me to like, get into deeper acceptance and, [00:35:00] and actually finding out like, where's the real motivator here when it comes to money. Where's the real, like where, where is there parts of me that are still holding onto what I think other people are gonna think if they found out that, you know, like all of these mind chatter things.

And so. Like, what I know is that I live an incredibly abundant and privileged and amazing life. And I don't ever wanna be in a place where I am like not believing that or not living that because of an external circumstance. Like. How much money you make or this. So for me, that's been like really a lot of the internal work, um, and what I'm like really navigating, bringing more into the, the world of money and business in our online coaching world.

Yeah. I love that. 

Meaghan: And what a like, test of faith and like self assurance taking almost an entire year off of your business. Like, [00:36:00] you know, like you have that must have challenged every single piece of like your business identity that you ever set into 

Viola: place. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, it was like only really four months off properly, but the rest of the time was like, I should have been off really.

It would've saved myself stress, but it was like, I was really not showing up anywhere as I normally could, because I was literally throwing up all day every day and trying to parent a toddler. Yeah. But yeah, it is like that. And that's like that. That's why I feel like, so. You know, if I'm proud of the work that I've done recently, it's like really of like I'm living. One.

It's been proof to me that all the abundance work that I did at the beginning really, really does transform your life because my husband and I like talked about it. We had, we've had like so many crazy things happen the last year as well. It felt like honestly, like probably one of the hardest years in terms of all the

crazy shit that happened. But like, we talked about how there was like, even when there was really like [00:37:00] unexpected things coming up financially or these things, like, we never felt that stress or worry that we used to feel all the time. It was just like a normal, everyday part of life for us back then that I didn't actually think you would ever live without , you know, and it, and I realize that I can like feel that regardless of the financial situation now, and that was like, I'm like so proud of this work, I'm really proud of this work.

And because the thing is money's never gonna change the way we feel about money. That's the important thing to realize is that, um, and all of the examples I gave are just proof of that, but it's like, you can have, be making no money and feel a particular way about yourself and your financial situation.

And there's also people who are absolutely rich, who are, um, you know, they hoard their money or they do this with their money because they still feel scarcity. The feeling of abundance and scarcity is not related to the amount of money that we have. 

Meaghan: Yeah, I have said it before, but I'm sure Jeff Bezos has those [00:38:00] thoughts sometimes of like, what if it all goes away tomorrow?

Like, 

Viola: well, that's what I mean. It's like, these people are so rich, they can literally solve like all of the major problems in the world right now. and that, that like our money related and they're still like, no, but it would put a tiny dent into my billions it's like, right. Oh, yeah, 

Meaghan: well, yeah, I'm sure like your pleasure practice has been a major.

Part of like you implementing like a nervous system that can handle mm-hmm all the, all the life changes you've gone through over the last three or four years since having two babies. And mm-hmm, moving back to Nova Scotia and like all of that kind of stuff. Like tell, tell us a little bit about how you connect pleasure to your money.

Viola: Yeah. So, um, Exactly. Like what you said in terms of [00:39:00] the, like using it to regulate your nervous system? I think so many of us are disconnected from our body and I think that's one of the things that like the patriarchy thrives off is women particularly being disconnected from their body and men really like, you know, men aren't allowed to feel emotions and all these different things either.

But particularly in my experience, it's been about this like connection with the body and realizing that like, I. Um, through like, through living in the system where I'm just like living in it versus then being conscious and like choosing how I live in within it. It's like, I didn't know what I liked. I didn't like physically pleasure and pleasure and sex, like, even in just like.

Like I said before, like my favorite color, even when it comes to like all these different things, there's so much about myself that I didn't, like, I had a numb connection with my body, with my emotion, because I'd always thought that emotions were weak. And so I disconnected myself in that way. Right. Like I always thought like, When I learned bro [00:40:00] culture business, it's like, oh, you can't be emotional.

You can't have emotions, put those away. Um, and so there's like, so, so much disconnection from the body. And what I've really learned is that our body is such a powerful metaphor in a sense of what we're able to hold. And I mean, it is kind of like the tuning fork for it all, really, but it's like how we feel is makes such a big difference to what we experience.

So, um, I mean, there are so many examples that prove this. You walk into a room and someone's been fighting, you feel it in your body. You walk into the room and it's a good, happy vibe, everyone's getting along, you feel it in your body. It's like it completely either relaxes you or tenses you up. And the same thing is true with so much of, um, like scarcity and abundance.

We feel it in our body when we're feeling the feeling and. When we get more in connection with our body, we are so much more hyper aware of the things that are really, um, serving us or not [00:41:00] serving us. And so the first reclamation of pleasure for me was really just like getting back into connection with my body and paying attention to.

What I liked and also realizing this is like my body, especially when we talk about like pleasure from a sexuality perspective, it was just like, I was, felt too much shame to even touch myself. Like I was like, I did it, but I would be very shameful about it, you know? And I'd be like, I can never tell anybody this, this is the most embarrassing thing ever.

And then when I started to like, work on those thoughts. I was like, this is very messed up, like in what world and how did this come to be that people are embarrassed to touch themselves? And like, feel pleasure? Like where, how, what I'm gonna punch that concept in the face. Cuz it is not welcome. Like I'm feeling very I'm outwardly violent, apparently jokingly, jokingly.

But um, anyway, and so then I, then I started to work on that relationship. And [00:42:00] so the way that it then ultimately connected with money is because money is money. Listen, abundance, pleasure. Gratitude are almost one and the same frequency. And I often say to clients like if clients are really struggling, feeling pleasure in their life, which pleasure sexually, but

upwards. That's like pleasure of the joy in our life. Right? Like literally pleasure is how much are you actually enjoying your life? How much do you feel good when you have hit a milestone? Like let's say you make money and you wanna celebrate it. Can you actually feel it? Like, does it, do you feel it in your body?

When you're eating delicious food, are you feeling it in your body? Like, do you feel it, is it actually bringing pleasure? And so many of us are disconnected from that. If people are having trouble feeling that, I recommend they play with the energy of abundance or gratitude, if somebody's wanting to feel more abundance in their life and they can't access the energy of abundance, work with gratitude.

Right. Gratitude's actually the frequency that I worked with at the beginning, because it was the only one that was accessible to me. And. At the time right. That I [00:43:00] could access. And so it was hard for me, but I like really trained myself to feel grateful for very, very, very simple things. So when I say that I felt abundance in my life, it was because I'd learned to be grateful for my situation and see my situation or see things that were happening.

Like when I saw an angel number, I'd be like, ah, oh my gosh, thank you, universe, like, yeah, I'd get like a little ridiculous and silly about it, which is also why playfulness is such a fun business concept. But, um, I'd like allow pleasure and abundance into my body through gratitude. And so we can use all these different frequencies.

Um, but then it's like, there's so many layered concepts here as well because self-worth, money, um, pleasure. All related, right? Like our willingness to be able to receive, all related. Um, how I talk about, like my podcast is called Spirit Sex Money. The three pillars, really representing spirit, our soul, our innate worthiness, our innate abundance. Sex being our actual [00:44:00] physical experience of it being human.

Right? Like our soul can guide us all we want, but if we're not here having the human experience, there's no point and then money, which is our mission and our vision and everything like that. But, um, Yeah. I, I dunno if I answered your question, but it feels like, yeah. 

Meaghan: Yeah, that was, that was beautiful. I love that

you said that pleasure is being able to like experience your life because that's, that is my exact definition of pleasure. It's it's feeling like I've lived my life so much to the fullest where like, even when I'm bawling crying. I'm in pleasure because I am feeling something. I feel like the opposite of opposite of pleasure.

Yes. Is like, you know, um, what's the 

Viola: word? Um,

like an dissociation or a numbness, like association, but 

Meaghan: like, um, like. [00:45:00] When you don't feel like either, or you're just kind of, oh, apathy, apathy. Yeah. That's a good word. Yeah. But like, um, yeah, the opposite of pleasure is like apathy and not, not being in, not, not being able to feel anything like for so long.

I was just kind of like. In this state of indifference. That's the word I was looking for

Viola: that's. Yeah. Mm-hmm mm-hmm 

Meaghan: mm-hmm indifference. And so when I am in a state of like massive grief or massive anger or anything like that, like it's the dirt, it's the hell. It's the, it's the grime. And it's also the gold and like all of the fun and like feel good stuff.

Mm-hmm for me, pleasure, encompasses like when I'm living my life. That's when I'm in pleasure. Mm-hmm and it takes like it, um, makes room for the full range of human 

Viola: emotions. Yeah. I love that. You said that because I do agree. It's, it's our ability to feel it [00:46:00] all as well and, and not feel, um, just like, you know, with money,

it's like, we feel like, oh, it's good if it's this much, but it's bad if it's that much. No, with our emotions, it's the same thing. And our, what we feel it's like, it's good if it's this emotion, but it's bad if it's that emotion. No, it's like, we get to feel it all, and some feelings feel uncomfortable, but. Um, pleasure is the, the true expression of that.

And you know, that feeling when, like, after you have a really good cry. Yeah. Euphoric the same with like, um, you know, there's like a sacred anger practice that I do. And, and the whole point is transmuting, anger to pleasure. It's literally like the same. Yeah. But just different expressions of it and, yeah.

That's cool. Yeah. 

Meaghan: So I would love to also talk about how you connect to your like business entity through pleasure. Do you like commune with, you know, Viola Hug the business and ask, ask them [00:47:00] for guidance and stuff like that? 

Viola: uh, for me, it's actually, when you said it like that, I'm like, oh, I guess I don't necessarily in that sentence, but I do in other ways, like, so, um, oh, I guess I, I do, but I see it differently.

I think so it's like, for me, I've always had this like sense of, um, being guided. Like I said, like I had my spiritual awakening. Checking with my spirit team around my business decisions is like how I joke that spirit was my first business coach, because that's how I made all my decisions in my business at the start.

Like I said, I didn't have money. So I used what was most next successful for me. Um, but through that, it was like, I, I did create this like energy of my vision of my vocation, which I guess is my business. Um, and, um, this, this. Beautiful like ever evolving piece. And, and I see it visually quite often, like I see like the, the colors or the energetics or the impact of [00:48:00] what my work is really doing in the world.

And that's one of the ways that I really connect with it. And it's been interesting for me because both through, through things like meditation and just like being in my body to more, um, Like other practices, such as like a self-pleasure practice or, uh, uh, breathwork practice or different things like that of just really being in my body.

That's one of the ways that I use to expand the feelings of pleasure, abundance, and also purpose and like how I want to impact. So like an example of that would be like, I might be in a practice where I'm imagining, like how people will feel or transform within a container that I'm hosting. And I'm using this practice to like push this energy out into the world and like create more of like, um, a vibration of that around myself and my business.

I 

Meaghan: I love that. Mm-hmm yeah. It, it sounds like you really are able to connect with each container and the transformation that it's going to [00:49:00] provide to your 

Viola: clients. Mm-hmm yeah. Yeah. And it's. Because that's how I started off all of my early, um, before it was even about clients, you know, like I'd always start off with like, this is what I'm feeling and I'm pushing it out to the world, you know, like that kind of thing.

And I think that's like one of the big, energetic things that I still love to do with my business. 

Meaghan: I love that. I'm gonna, I'm gonna use that in my pleasure practice today. Mm-hmm perfect. Well, thank you so much Viola I've. I mean, I have a million questions we could go on for hours probably 

Viola: and I love to talk if it's not apparent. I always say like, when, like I used to have a podcast that I did interviews for, I have my podcast now is just a solo podcast, but I always said like, you can tell when you interview other podcasters because they know how to talk.

Meaghan: Yeah, I love that. Well, it was great having a conversation with you. Is there anything that you'd like to leave my audience with? Like a one liner or like a, um, something that's coming through for [00:50:00] you from spirit? 

Viola: I think, um, Hmm. Let's see. Hold on. There's like 50 things that I wanna say, because this conversation is so needed.

The one thing that I wanna leave you with is this remembrance that oftentimes on our way to, to the place, you know, we, we don't have a clear vision yet, we don't have a clear understanding of how it's all gonna work out and what it's gonna mean to us in hindsight. But when we look back, we see so much meaning in the decisions that we made.

And so it's so, so, so important to just get into that into your body and into like, a true connection with yourself and trust, whatever is coming through for you and move with that feeling in your world. You know, whether that's a decision that you're making for your business, in your personal life. Um, whatever it might be.

My biggest example of this was when I was in my labor. You know, like when I when I was in it, I know I would constantly go into my mind and stress [00:51:00] that it wasn't happening the way that it should, because I have very unique labors, but that's a story for another day. But, you know, like, and I had all of these like worries and I kept like bringing myself back to this in hindsight, it's gonna be perfect, in hindsight

it's gonna be perfect. And literally it was. So magical in hindsight. And it was like, now I can see why, why every little thing that happened, how it played a role, but at the time it felt random and it felt weird and it felt scary. Um, but in hindsight it was just so magical. And, um, we can look back on everything like that, whether we're driving lessons in hindsight or whether we are reveling in the experience of what we had to, we got to experience.

And so. Yeah, leaning into that trust and moving with where your body and your pleasure and your soul is guiding you and letting yourself be surprised in hindsight, be, have that clarity in hindsight. 

Meaghan: I love that. I love the, the idea of allowing life and money and sex to [00:52:00] surprise and delight us. Mm-hmm specifically with money, like allowing money to delight and like,

you know, like give us little gifts here and there and surprises. I I'm someone, I love surprises. Mm-hmm and a lot of people don't like surprises, but I'm like money surprised me more, 

Viola: I want more. Yeah. I love that. It's one of my favorite things when I'm like just doing something casually and I look down and I get like a notification of a payment.

I'm like, oh, I love it. Yeah. Take delight in 

Meaghan: it. Well, beautiful. Okay. So tell the people where they can find you and plug whatever, um, offer you got going on right now. 

Viola: Amazing. So I am @violahug on pretty much everything. My favorite place is to hang out right now are TikTok and Instagram. So if you wanna come hang out with me there, and then the next best place to get kind of my communications would be my email list, which you can find on my website, violahug.com.

Like there's a signup form there. Um, [00:53:00] and I'm always open to DMs. If you have any more questions or whatever, and in terms of what I'm doing and my offers, I am just about to open up, um, private coaching spaces again. But like I said, I am really letting myself be delighted with what I'm creating at the moment.

You'll be able to see whatever I have currently on offer. If you click on any of those links. Um, but it's all base. Oh, we didn't even talk about human design. Oh my gosh. But another really powerful piece, but it's all based on like really, um, self liberation and reclamation through your own individual energetics, pleasure,

like really, like the point of being successful, but actually enjoying your life along the way. 

Meaghan: true because what is success without 

Viola: life? Literally? And I think we forget that sometimes, right? Like . Yeah. Um, because. The patriarchal conditioning, but whenever , we'll fight it, one, one, um, moment of pleasure at a time.

[00:54:00] Exactly. 

Meaghan: Well, thank you, Viola for joining me. And, um, I will put all the links in the show notes and we'll have to get you on again to talk about human design because I please, yeah. Fascinated. I'm a manifesting generator. Mm-hmm and so my sacral authority is like, literally I go by my gut mm-hmm at every moment.

I'm. Okay. What, what would feel good to me next? And, and just like yes or no from the gut and then I'm, I'm doing it. 

Viola: Yes. I love that. Oh my gosh. Yeah. If we have like a whole episode on it, I can like really dive in deep and also bring in gene keys into it because they, they work really well together. Yeah.

Yeah. I haven't looked into Jean keys, but I'm fascinated by it. Hmm. That's so fun. okay. Well, 

Meaghan: we'll talk later. Okay. 

Viola: Okay. Bye. Bye. 

Meaghan: Bye.

Viola Hug Interview

Meaghan: [00:00:00] Welcome back to the Pleasurable Money Podcast. I'm your host, Meaghan, and I'm so happy to have you here. Today, I've got Viola Hug on the podcast and we are gonna talk all things, entrepreneurship, money, pleasure, sex, human design, which I have not talked about on the podcast yet, so very exciting. 

Viola: Mm-hmm

Meaghan: and dismantling the patriarchy. Viola, would you like to say a little intro?

Viola: Yeah. Hello. Hello to those that are listening, I'm excited to be here. I love all of these conversations, so I'm, I feel like it's the perfect fit to be here. um, and yeah, for those of you who are meeting me for the first time, my name's Viola hug, I'm a writer, speaker, and a mentor, and I'm the owner of a multiple six figure company.

And alongside my business world. I am also a mom to two Little's. I go by she/they [00:01:00] pronouns. I've been married to my husband for, um, 11, 11 over 11 years now. 

Meaghan: Wow. 

Viola: I lose track, but it's been a long ass time. Um, a great long ass time. Um, and yeah, like, I, I feel like my, my journey's just like ever unfolding with all of these beautiful pieces of, um, really finding what feels so important to me in bringing more joy and pleasure and abundant experiences into people's lives.

Um, and so much of that lies in the core foundations of what you mentioned, like dismantling the patriarchy and all that fun stuff. 

Meaghan: Yeah. Well, I'd love to start there. 

Viola: Yeah 

Meaghan: Because I'm always fascinated about people's ideas for dismantling the patriarchy. And I feel like people have their own ideas. And everything's so unique, the way people go about breaking down the systems that we have set in place. And 

Viola: mm-hmm, [00:02:00] 

Meaghan: blazing the trail for people who have been so marginalized for so long 

Viola: mm-hmm

Meaghan: So I'd love to talk about what your favorite way to dismantle the patriarchy and some of like the more creative ways that you've taught your clients, or maybe your clients have come up with 

Viola: mm-hmm 

Meaghan: their own ways.

Viola: Yeah. I mean, I feel like the whole concept is, um, to me is really like a reclamation of our own uniqueness versus trying like shaming ourselves, or even subconsciously feeling shame about who we really are and what we really desire and the power we have. Like it goes into so much of it. And I kind of stumbled into this idea of like, wait a second.

This is all linked to this bullshit, like concept of, you know, systems set up by men, very fragile men. And, um, it, for me, it was because like I started my entrepreneurship journey 10 years [00:03:00] ago now, and I was doing a whole bunch of different things at the beginning. You know, it was kind of like one of those things where I'd find opportunities or opportunities would find me. And I'd be like, I'm gonna try this because maybe this is the thing. And I knew it was entrepreneurship, but I hadn't really found my voice because I was so conditioned by the external world, I was seeking external validation and everything. You know, I thought when I made money, then people would respect me.

I thought when I was successful, then I would feel like I can relax. I thought, you know, like all of these, um, externally driven thoughts, which, I mean spoiler alert, which isn't probably a surprise to anybody, but it turned out when I could internally validate myself and kind of turn more inward that finally those things I was seeking actually came.

But we can still have money and we can still have success in various human ways, um, in allowing that to happen. But I was so externally driven and, um, I burnt myself out and I was listening [00:04:00] to like, what I now see is actually like hustle culture. And I was listening to very old paradigm business tactics and all of these things that intuitively didn't feel right.

But I pushed my intuition to the side, cuz I thought. Who am I? Like, I'm just a young, you know, 20 year old. I don't know anything. I need to follow these like rich successful 60, 50 year olds. like 70 year olds. And I'm just like, now I'm like, what were you thinking? But I burnt myself out and I was broke.

Like I was so broke, no matter how hard I tried, like I, every year, like I, I, at new year's, I would like set myself stricter refinements of what I was allowed to do, because I thought that it was my leisurely time that was taking away from me being successful. So I remember like 2017, which was um, the last year that I kind of like set myself a rule before I had my like great awakening.

It was also my Saturn return year, but I like made the rule that I wasn't allowed to watch any TV because I was like, [00:05:00] I, when I watch TV, I just like binge watch. And so it must be TV. That must be the reason why I'm not successful. Cuz you know, you hear old school business people be like, I don't watch TV and LA da, da, da.

Yeah. Um, and uh, then I had my um, saturn return that year. And I had two really huge awakenings. I had my abundance awakening and I had my spiritual awakening and I promised this all links together. And with those two awakenings, I started my business and I started my business with wanting to honor my own individual energetics, you know, finding human design, um, like being like, Hey, maybe emotional regulation is something I should look into.

Like maybe, honoring myself. I don't know, healing some of these things going on in my mind is a good idea. And my abundance awakening was like a culmination of me being in such bad debt that I had to start researching money and learning about money and all these different things. But then on, on an energetic level, it was actually almost like transcending just the concept of [00:06:00] money and really moving into the vibration of abundance and, and learning how to feel abundant, grateful, worthy.

Even when there wasn't an external proof that that was available. And then. Um, kind of fast forwarding, I built my business, it grew to multiple six figures. Then I had my first child and then I have boom sexual awakening. My third grade awakening. And that was kind of like the final piece for me. And that's where I really

started to see, because for me, the sexual awakening was a reclamation of pleasure. It was a reclamation of my body. It was a reclamation of my desires. It was like healing, shame about things that I didn't even notice that I held shame about. And sexuality. Yes. But it's almost so much more than that. It, to me, this whole pillar in my work represents our humanness.

It represents our experience. Um, and when I started to look into that, I realized like how. So much of what we believe like, oh, I, you know, I, I look [00:07:00] ugly, oh my God, I need to shave, oh my God. Like all of these thoughts that we complete always have on a loop in our mind is brought forward by the society that is actually kind of messed up when you think of the roots of all these things.

And so I started to pay attention to that and ultimately my, my version of dismantling the patriarchy comes back to radical self reclamation. And, um, just like being like, fuck you. I don't need to build my business in any type of way, and I can still be successful. Like, fuck you. I can have money. And I don't.

like. It's a little bit of like a rebellion, but it's also just like a I'm finally just gonna let myself be happy, like easier said than done, but you know, that's really what it comes down to. It's identifying all of these ways in which most or so many of our limiting beliefs come back to just a conditioning by a [00:08:00] society that isn't serving anyone. 

Meaghan: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Wow. That was, that was a lot of. Compounding your awareness of like, of like your, your reality. So like your three great awakenings were like, you know, The first thing you wanted to break through and blaze your own path with and like not listen to what you've been told to do. And then you're like, okay, well maybe I can do this with money and then, okay, well maybe I can do this with my sexuality and my pleasure and who I am in my body.

So like it's just compounding and I'm sure you're gonna have many more great awakenings. And you're just gonna add to the list of like things that you're rebelling and, and reclaiming, like you said, like it's a right. It's a total reclamation. 

Viola: I like have like one more point. I just wanna add, because I feel like it's so relevant for your audience, but [00:09:00] like one of the big things the past couple years for me, which is like, I guess like a creative perspective as well.

Um, To some, uh, anyway, it was, to me when I was first kind of like diving into it, but one of the big things was like, even my gender identity and my sexuality were things that I like really in hindsight, just accepted by what the world told me, you know, I was just like, okay, yeah. Like the world's like, you're a woman and I'm like, okay.

And the world's like, you're straight. Okay. You know? And it was. Um, and it's just been really interesting because I have a sister who I identifies on the non-binary spectrum. I do in a way as well, which is why I go by she, they pronouns. But like, to me, it was, um, such a reclamation of that as well. It was like, I, the more I started to look into my own identity,

and I, it's funny, cuz I started this years ago, but my first thing I ever learned about myself and this sounds crazy, but it was my favorite color and I find it really interesting cuz when I say that a lot of people [00:10:00] say, huh, that's true. I don't actually know my favorite color either because I'm so conditioned by the outside world and always responding.

And um, that also mixed with like a couple of neuro divergencies that I have. It's like, I just didn't know myself at all. And now it's going to such deeper layers of realizing that literally like everything about our identity is, is put on us. And unless we're actively seeking to question our identity, who we are, our power, we are not fully like in our true essence.

And it really comes back when we talk about business and success and money, I believe the more we become our own like unique frequency who are really designed to be the easier successes, because there's no noise between our innate abundance, our innate worthiness and our external experience anymore. Um, And sometimes what the world told us is true about ourselves, but sometimes it's not.

And so I think that's why it's so important to, um, to really question everything. [00:11:00] 

Meaghan: Over and over again, because even if, 

Viola: yeah, exactly. 

Meaghan: Even if the question, the answer was one thing, one day it's gonna, it might be a different thing. 

Viola: Oh yeah. 

Meaghan: The next day.

Viola: That's such a good point. 

Meaghan: I love that you brought that up because I do have a, a wide queer audience and I've got a ton of queer friends.

Viola: Mm-hmm 

Meaghan: who are constantly breaking down what it means to be a woman or to have a pussy or you know what that means in the world. Do you wanna talk a little bit more about, do you identify as queer or is it more just, 

Viola: yeah. 

Meaghan: Okay, cool. I'd love to hear more about that, um, process for you to awaken into. 

Viola: Yeah. Um, like in hindsight, and this is why I love hindsight because everything's so much clearer , but in hindsight, I'm like, I was always queer AF, but I also had such I guess internalized homophobia in a way, you know, like I always just thought, and this comes back to my worth. Honestly, like when I said before that I was seeking [00:12:00] the external world for validation, for things, one of those things for me was I thought if a man thought I was attractive, that I was worthy, I really did.

And as, um, someone who is, you know, AFAB woman, somebody who's grown up as a woman in society, it's like, we are really seen as objects which is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but we are, we are really seen as, um, objects in this patriarchal society. And that's just apparent with how so many of us crave that attention.

And so in hindsight, so much of my actual quote, unquote attraction to men was really just seeking validation that I was good enough. And it's not that I, I, I mainly identify as queer. I sometimes say bisexual, but I just love like the word queer. Is that what feels the most like me? Yeah. Um, And I am married to a man and we have a very hetero presenting relationship, but we're both queer in our, [00:13:00] you know, in our own

right. Um, but that's like when I was growing up, it was almost like I never gave myself the opportunity to explore because I was also in those early, like, or late teen years and early 20 years while I was exploring my sexuality or like sexually active or whatever, I was in a very dark place. Like I just lost my dad to cancer.

I didn't have any support that I really needed in terms of like my mental health. I was severely depressed. I was, um, you know, trigger warning, but I was, you know, self-harming and suicidal. Like I was in a very, very dark place. And so I was really using a lot of my partying, a lot of my like relationships as a form of self harm.

Like I was not in a good place. And then it just so happened to be that as I started going, huh, this doesn't really feel right. And I started, um, you know, seeking therapy on my own, which was about five years after my dad passed away. When I was 21. Um, [00:14:00] within a year I met my partner and he's like the perfect match for me.

You know, we just like, we're amazing. We get on. And, and so it was almost like so much of my exploration of who I am and what my identity is from a healed perspective was never explored when I was single. And although I had experiences, but I was just put them off to like, oh, that's just like a thing, a one time thing, you know, or like, Like that kind of thing.

And if I found other women attractive or other people attractive, I would just have, like, I would just push it down and just assume I was straight or assume that wasn't a big deal. And then it wasn't. Yeah, until like a couple years ago, hashtag pandemic awakening um, it wasn't until then that I started like, you know, going on TikTok and hearing other people's experiences.

I'm like, wait, I think that all the time, and I heard this one thing say sometimes like, straight people don't think that everybody's queer. And I was like, wait, I, because I always used to be like, everyone's a little queer. Like [00:15:00] everyone's a little me do. That's 

Meaghan: what I, that's what I say too. Yeah. 

Viola: Yeah. And, and someone was like, no straight people don't think that I'm like, mm, I don't believe you.

Like everyone thinks everyone thinks that they're like, no really straight people don't think that. And I was like, Oh, . And so it's been really interesting because for me it's been like my exploration and like, I'm, I'm in a relationship, I'm happy. I'm we're monogamous and we like it that way. Like, we feel really good, but it's been an interesting experience of almost like this reclamation of really who I am.

Um, And being able to have those conversations with my partner, but to me, like now I just feel like so much more like this is so much more me. Like I'm so much more happy now in my identity. And it's yeah, it's very liberating. 

Meaghan: I love that. You, I love that you're an example of another person who identifies as queer, but is also in a hetero presenting relationship.

Viola: Mm-hmm 

Meaghan: Oftentimes, I feel not queer enough. 

Viola: Yeah. 

Meaghan: To be in spaces because [00:16:00] I am also in a hetero relationship with my husband and 

Viola: Mm-hmm,

Meaghan: we've also been together for 11 years. We've only been married for two, but, um, 

Viola: oh, that's awesome. 

Meaghan: We've been together for 11 years.

Viola: Yeah. 

Meaghan: Um, but. Yeah. And so I often feel like, okay, I am, I am a cis woman who identifies very much as she her and like, I'm married to a cis man.

And so like, nobody's gonna believe me when I'm in queer spaces. Like, they're just gonna think that I'm an ally, which, you know, like, you're, you're enough if you're an ally too, but it's just like, like I wanted to be a part of the, like I wanted to be in the, in the crowd, you know, like I wanna be 

Viola: in . Yeah. I felt that so many times too.

And it's um, yeah, I still feel that sometimes, especially because I have a lot of, um, like gay or lesbian friends, and then I often feel like I'm just like, Hey, like let's okay. but I think also like a part of [00:17:00] me, which is like there it's like hard either way in a way it's just different types of hard, because I feel like people who

have been outrightly, queer and had like very queer presenting relationships, even though my relationship's still a queer relationship, it just looks hetero. Right. But it's like, um, a lot of people who've had queer presenting relationships they've had to deal with, you know, the, all of the hardships that come along with that because our society is still

shit, basically when it comes to that, like, I love that there's like online spaces where we can really like warp our reality of how, um, accepted queer is. But in, in the greater scheme of things, like, and in America right now, like it's just so fucked. Like I can't even like. Ugh drives me nuts. And so they've had to deal with like a whole different set of things and I've never had to deal with that because I've been, um, I've had the privilege of having a hetero presenting relationship.

The like [00:18:00] basically my whole relationship life at the same time though, I've had an inner conflict this whole time. So it was like inner in my insides, I was like battling and I was like, not quite there, but, um, Yeah. So it's like, it's a different type of hard, but it's. Yeah. I, I love it when I meet other queer people who are, you know, in the similar position to you and I

Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm well, affirming. Something came up, 

Meaghan: um, when we were talking kind of around, like, how do you. When you were, uh, sorry, let me form this thought. yeah, no, it's fine. At the beginning of your business, or even whenever you go into an awakening and you're still kind of learning, how, how do you find yourself teaching your audience

things that are not fully formed for you yet? Mm-hmm either in business about money or whatever it was. 

Viola: Mm-hmm mm-hmm Okay, so. I have like, um, I guess like, I've [00:19:00] this, isn't a straightforward answer as with most of things in life, but I would say that there's like two aspects of it. One, I don't believe we ever really master something fully.

We are always continually in mastery. And I think that when, when we are in mastery of something, we be, we begin to understand it and see things from a different perspective. And all that really means like being in mastery of something is we are actively and, um, well, I guess just actively pursuing something.

So money is a really easy example, right? It's like if we, um, Well, I'll use my money example. So I had this like abundance awakening, but I wasn't making money yet. My abundance awakening was so much about like understanding the energetics behind making money or not just making money in terms of like how to sell, but more just like being available and open to receiving in our lives, like more the energetic side.

And so I started practicing these things and, um, then I, you know, I made like a thousand [00:20:00] dollars in my like second month in business and then I made like, I don't know, $1,500 a third month. And it was like a very slow start, but it was happening. And. For context. I was so broke at that time when I started my business, that we were staying with my mom, my husband and I, because we couldn't afford to find a place to rent and we couldn't afford food.

So like we stayed with her and my husband drove Uber so that we could pay our bills, which were thousands of dollars in debt. Like the bank's calling us like every freaking day. You need to make a payment, you need to make a payment. And we're like, oh my gosh. Like, it just felt like we were drowning in terms of our situation.

And there was so much of me who that felt shame for my situation, but as I started to like play with these energetics and just really commit myself to this, I started to feel different. So even though I was still in that position for the first, like few months of my business, particularly, um, like financially things hadn't really changed, cuz it was like every dollar I made had to go to pay this bill [00:21:00] had to go do this.

It wasn't like, we were like, oh, now we have a thousand extra dollars. Like it was like, no, like now we can pay this bill that's two years late. Um, so it was financially overall things weren't looking that good at the beginning, but energetically, I was feeling different because I was like, I could see like my vision and all these things that I wanted so much more.

I could really, like, I was like respecting my money in, in the ways that I'd been taught. And I was like, you know, like calculating everything, like making sure I knew what was going on with my money. And I was respecting it and I was energetically feeling grateful and happy nonetheless. And then. It was around like eight months into my business, that things really started to shift.

Um, and it was around that time that my husband and I decided to buy a one way ticket to Germany and be digital nomads. And I'd made like just enough money to pay for our tickets over. And that was like, it, it was like no credit, no savings, no nothing. And not. That I, I don't necessarily recommend people make like, quote [00:22:00] unquote reckless financial decisions, but there was like something about the way we were making that decision, that it didn't feel reckless, but it was like, in hindsight, I'm like, you are crazy.

Like, what were you doing. Anyway, very strong intuition that that was the right move. And for. The next, almost two years, we were digital nomads traveling full time. And in that time is when my business crossed six figures. And that times is when I started making, you know, multiple five figure months and all these like crazy, crazy things.

But, um, at the beginning I was so obsessed with this energy of abundance, because I was like, noticing how it was, it was changing my reality, even before I started making money. But then every time I made money, it was like a pop surprise of like, this is amazing. And so I, um, I basically would, at the beginning, if I was talking about abundance, it was really just like, kind of working with clients and noticing that they had like a lack thought or something of this, because it's something that I've been working on.

I might shift that for them, or I might take them into like, understanding where this thought might be coming from or that these [00:23:00] things that I had been in mastery of. So I wasn't necessarily teaching, Hey, I'm gonna teach you how to make money, but I was teaching, Hey, these are the concepts that have been really helpful for me around abundance and money.

And then I remember it was about like, It was just after or, or before, or it was around the time that I crossed six figures for my, um, business that I then felt like I'm ready to teach a money program, you know? And, and that's when I like reflected. And I thought to myself, what are all the things that I've done, like really went inward and like paid attention to what did I actually do?

Like, not just, what's a cool concept about money, cuz there's plenty of money concepts that I'd heard that I hadn't applied that feel really fun to teach, you know, just to regurgitate them. But I like gave myself, um, permission to just like really reflect and be like, what was my way? Like what really shifted it for me?

What really healed the stories for me? What, when did it really change? Like, and that's when I started to notice like, Hey, I was like seeking external validation here and I actually started [00:24:00] trusting myself here. Hey, like here's where I, you know, realized that I was completely neglecting the money in my life.

And here's where I started taking responsibility. So it was more so that like I gave myself space to only teach what was, what truly felt like it was working for me. And it was real for me versus, um, what I thought I should be teaching. I love that. 

Meaghan: I love that because I think a lot of coaches fall into this trap of like, people wanna hear that they can make 5k months mm-hmm or people wanna hear that they can make six figures with this program.

Mm-hmm so I have to promise them a certain dollar amount or I have to promise them like, you know, what I feel like they want, what, what bro marketing is telling me that all of my clients want mm-hmm . And so it's just really encouraging to hear that you allowed yourself to teach what was alive and real for you and not kind of step into the, [00:25:00] into

a bit of lying about what, what you wanted, what you were capable of, 

Viola: teaching someone. Yeah. And like, even then when I started, you know, like when I made $10,000 for the first time in a month, you know, then it became like such an easy marketing tool to be like, you know, I make 10K months and come learn from me.

And, um, and it definitely felt aligned at the time because the way that I was doing it at the time was from pure joy and inspiration. And it wasn't like, oh, now I have this cool thing. Like, it was just like, Inspiration and, and everything, but it's interesting because you know, you talk about how you mentioned like, oh, we're gonna keep having awakenings and there's gonna be new layers, a hundred percent.

It's like the way that I feel now about money is so different. And I know it's one of the things you wanted to talk about as well, but like, it's been so interesting watching my money evolution completely evolved because, you know, I went from this place where I had a really terrible relationship with money and I was really broke to then having a [00:26:00] good relationship with money in the sense of how I felt about money, but still being broke.

And then I started making money and. Then I had money. And then, um, the most interesting thing happened, even though I was aware of all of these concepts of like, you know, it's not about, money's not gonna change your worth. Like it's about you needing to feel really good. And the money's just kind of like a bonus.

And, um, it's a complex topic for the mind because our humanness really likes to put things in categories and our human mind is always gonna be driven by ego in some respect. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, cuz the ego is part of the human experience. It's part of what we're here to experience. And like it's literally the whole point, right?

We're not supposed to be souls living ethereally. We're supposed to be humans. So, polarity's part of the game. But, um, even though it's like, I knew all of these concepts, I started to notice how then suddenly, um, six figures wasn't good enough anymore because my friends were now making seven figures, you [00:27:00] know?

And it was like, I went through this phase where I literally felt like making six figures was shitter than when I made no money. you know, I was like, oh my God, like, I need to make more money. How can I make more money? And it was almost like starting to become an obsession and it happened so subtly that I almost didn't catch it.

And then I noticed it was happening. And I was like, oh my God, this is so interesting. And I noticed even how, like, even though I like everything that I've offered, I really, really love, but I noticed how there was a phase where it was almost like I was like, I need to offer this so that it can create da, da, da, da, da in my life.

And I just recently, like the last year, I was like, basically I wasn't fully in my business because I was pregnant. And then I had a baby and I was on maternity leave for the last four months. During my pregnancy, I was sick because I have like severe nausea and vomiting in my pregnancies, which is like not fun.

That's like the whole way through the pregnancy. Um, and so I've like not really [00:28:00] shown up fully in a year. The last four months I had completely off. And it's been like the most beautiful space for introspection and reflection. And it's so funny because even though I know that the work that I do can absolutely unlock people to making their six figures, their seven figures, like whatever.

In so many of my past clients, like I have multiple past clients that are millionaires now. And I'm just like, of course you are . Um, but not saying that it was only me, but you know, like I, I just, the foundation of the, the work that I teach is can unlock that for people. And anyway, so. Now I'm noticing that it's like the feeling of teaching money feels so different to me again, it's just like, I don't even care about like those marketing techniques.

They just don't feel authentic and real for me anymore. Um, I just want people's lives to actually change. Like, I want you to walk away with what you learn in the rest of your life. Be better and feel more abundant and joyful because of it. And you just happen to make more money along the way. [00:29:00] Yeah. Cool.

Meaghan: I love that. You said that your, the actual money making didn't come immediately, like you started shifting your relationship with money and you felt better about the abundance in your life, and you felt better about the, your current situation with money, but then it didn't, you know, it, it took a while for, for it to catch up to you.

Yeah. And, and the internal, like shifts that you were making mm-hmm . I love that, cuz I feel like that's how I teach money as well with, with pleasure and everything intertwined because it is such a worthiness piece and our self worth finally clicking into place. And then. Slowly the money starts to follow as we claim that self worth over and over and over again.

Mm-hmm and choose our pleasure. Every time we, we choose to, to swipe our card or pay a bill or whatever it is, 

Viola: mm-hmm . [00:30:00] Mm-hmm . I love that. And I love how you said, like choose it every time, because that's what it is about it is. And that's, I think the moral of the story of what I just shared is like, um, even though I knew these concepts, I'd become complacent with some of those choices, I feel like with, with money in some ways.

And so suddenly, even though I was in complete overflow, more than I'd ever been in my life, there was still parts of me that were like, but I'm not enough, but this isn't enough, but it should be more, but, you know, and, and, um, I've I've been dismantling this idea for so long, but I think it's also part of dismantling the patriarchy and it's something that's meant to be discovered in layers, but.

Even though making more money is still a goal that's totally allowed and, and totally amazing because money is such a powerful tool for us as humans, for both our own pleasure, our own experiences that we get to have, but also, um, who we get to be in the world and what we get to do when we have money.

Like there's just so many awesome benefits to being rich. [00:31:00] Yeah. Um, But at the same time, it's like the hierarchy of it always needing to be more like this month needs to be more than last month and this month needs to be more than the next month, whatever. Or, you know, like, the hierarchy of always needing it to be more I'm like we are cyclical beings.

Like we are gonna go through times in our life where it's gonna be growth, growth, growth, growth, growth, and that's gonna be, what's so fun. And then there's gonna be other times where there's growth in other areas of my life. And like, my relationship is a great example of that because we've been together for 11 years and that's 11 years of a lot of life changes and, um, As you would know and there's been like times in our relationship where we've really prioritized, like careers been the number one thing we've prioritized.

There's been times of our relationship where intimacy was the number one thing we prioritized. There's been times where like right now parenting is the number one thing that we're prioritizing. And it doesn't negate any of the rest of our relationship. And it doesn't mean [00:32:00] that we're like, it doesn't mean that we don't care about anything else, just because something's not a priority.

It's just, we're going through the different ebbs and flows of life and the different cycles of life and different things feel important at different times. And I wish we would give ourselves that grace sometimes when it came to business and when it came to money, because we often have a narrative that if it's not always going up, it's not good enough.

Or, or we're we're, um, plateauing or we're this, or we're that, and it's. No, like . Yeah. It's like, I don't have all the answers for that, but I definitely know that it's an inner game. Yeah. What came 

Meaghan: up for me was when you were saying, you know, one month has to be more than the next, more than next. And when it's not like, what does that say about me?

Yeah. Like what, what does that mean about me? If I'm not compounding my income? What if it goes down? If I make $0 the month after I made 10 K mm-hmm, like, what, what am I missing? And constantly trying to fix. And. [00:33:00] Answer a question that doesn't even exist to begin with. Like, it has nothing to do with our, with us or our worthiness and mm-hmm yeah.

It's just a fascinating piece 

Viola: of the puzzle. It is. And that's like the exact experience that I had the first time that I made $20,000. It wasn't yay. Oh my God. This is so amazing and abundant. It was how the F am I gonna do it again? Yeah. And I remember that feeling. I was scared. I was. And I didn't make $20,000 the next month.

And I felt like shit about it. yeah. And it was like, in hindsight, I'm like, Ugh, honey, but like at the time, yeah. At the time, it was like, I really started to make it mean things about me, which it doesn't, it, it doesn't at all. And in hindsight, it's like, we're not looking like this month I made this and this month I made that.

It's like, when I look back at that year, I was like, oh my gosh, I was in Hawaii when that happened. And I did this with my partner and that's the year that I got pregnant with my first kid, you know, like, that's what I'm thinking about. I'm not thinking, oh, well I made this much. And then I didn't make that much.[00:34:00] 

Meaghan: Yeah. Right. So while we're talking about money, before we move on to the next topic, what would you say is your like current money, like, um, hurdle that you're working on 

Viola: right now? I think, uh, reflecting off what we've already talked about, it's like really this for me now. It's like, how am I really showing up in this world of being a teacher of money and, um, Bringing this new kind of like awareness and realization that I had where it's still like, you get to have more money, but it's not about having more money, you know?

And for me that's been it's yeah. I've lately been working on that other layer because like I said, I took maternity leave. I actively wasn't working, which we planned for, but when I didn't see the money that would normally come in from like live things that I was doing, I had a moment of like, and I was like, oh, this is another layer for me.

You know? So it was just another way for me to like, get into deeper acceptance and, [00:35:00] and actually finding out like, where's the real motivator here when it comes to money. Where's the real, like where, where is there parts of me that are still holding onto what I think other people are gonna think if they found out that, you know, like all of these mind chatter things.

And so. Like, what I know is that I live an incredibly abundant and privileged and amazing life. And I don't ever wanna be in a place where I am like not believing that or not living that because of an external circumstance. Like. How much money you make or this. So for me, that's been like really a lot of the internal work, um, and what I'm like really navigating, bringing more into the, the world of money and business in our online coaching world.

Yeah. I love that. 

Meaghan: And what a like, test of faith and like self assurance taking almost an entire year off of your business. Like, [00:36:00] you know, like you have that must have challenged every single piece of like your business identity that you ever set into 

Viola: place. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, it was like only really four months off properly, but the rest of the time was like, I should have been off really.

It would've saved myself stress, but it was like, I was really not showing up anywhere as I normally could, because I was literally throwing up all day every day and trying to parent a toddler. Yeah. But yeah, it is like that. And that's like that. That's why I feel like, so. You know, if I'm proud of the work that I've done recently, it's like really of like I'm living. One.

It's been proof to me that all the abundance work that I did at the beginning really, really does transform your life because my husband and I like talked about it. We had, we've had like so many crazy things happen the last year as well. It felt like honestly, like probably one of the hardest years in terms of all the

crazy shit that happened. But like, we talked about how there was like, even when there was really like [00:37:00] unexpected things coming up financially or these things, like, we never felt that stress or worry that we used to feel all the time. It was just like a normal, everyday part of life for us back then that I didn't actually think you would ever live without , you know, and it, and I realize that I can like feel that regardless of the financial situation now, and that was like, I'm like so proud of this work, I'm really proud of this work.

And because the thing is money's never gonna change the way we feel about money. That's the important thing to realize is that, um, and all of the examples I gave are just proof of that, but it's like, you can have, be making no money and feel a particular way about yourself and your financial situation.

And there's also people who are absolutely rich, who are, um, you know, they hoard their money or they do this with their money because they still feel scarcity. The feeling of abundance and scarcity is not related to the amount of money that we have. 

Meaghan: Yeah, I have said it before, but I'm sure Jeff Bezos has those [00:38:00] thoughts sometimes of like, what if it all goes away tomorrow?

Like, 

Viola: well, that's what I mean. It's like, these people are so rich, they can literally solve like all of the major problems in the world right now. and that, that like our money related and they're still like, no, but it would put a tiny dent into my billions it's like, right. Oh, yeah, 

Meaghan: well, yeah, I'm sure like your pleasure practice has been a major.

Part of like you implementing like a nervous system that can handle mm-hmm all the, all the life changes you've gone through over the last three or four years since having two babies. And mm-hmm, moving back to Nova Scotia and like all of that kind of stuff. Like tell, tell us a little bit about how you connect pleasure to your money.

Viola: Yeah. So, um, Exactly. Like what you said in terms of [00:39:00] the, like using it to regulate your nervous system? I think so many of us are disconnected from our body and I think that's one of the things that like the patriarchy thrives off is women particularly being disconnected from their body and men really like, you know, men aren't allowed to feel emotions and all these different things either.

But particularly in my experience, it's been about this like connection with the body and realizing that like, I. Um, through like, through living in the system where I'm just like living in it versus then being conscious and like choosing how I live in within it. It's like, I didn't know what I liked. I didn't like physically pleasure and pleasure and sex, like, even in just like.

Like I said before, like my favorite color, even when it comes to like all these different things, there's so much about myself that I didn't, like, I had a numb connection with my body, with my emotion, because I'd always thought that emotions were weak. And so I disconnected myself in that way. Right. Like I always thought like, When I learned bro [00:40:00] culture business, it's like, oh, you can't be emotional.

You can't have emotions, put those away. Um, and so there's like, so, so much disconnection from the body. And what I've really learned is that our body is such a powerful metaphor in a sense of what we're able to hold. And I mean, it is kind of like the tuning fork for it all, really, but it's like how we feel is makes such a big difference to what we experience.

So, um, I mean, there are so many examples that prove this. You walk into a room and someone's been fighting, you feel it in your body. You walk into the room and it's a good, happy vibe, everyone's getting along, you feel it in your body. It's like it completely either relaxes you or tenses you up. And the same thing is true with so much of, um, like scarcity and abundance.

We feel it in our body when we're feeling the feeling and. When we get more in connection with our body, we are so much more hyper aware of the things that are really, um, serving us or not [00:41:00] serving us. And so the first reclamation of pleasure for me was really just like getting back into connection with my body and paying attention to.

What I liked and also realizing this is like my body, especially when we talk about like pleasure from a sexuality perspective, it was just like, I was, felt too much shame to even touch myself. Like I was like, I did it, but I would be very shameful about it, you know? And I'd be like, I can never tell anybody this, this is the most embarrassing thing ever.

And then when I started to like, work on those thoughts. I was like, this is very messed up, like in what world and how did this come to be that people are embarrassed to touch themselves? And like, feel pleasure? Like where, how, what I'm gonna punch that concept in the face. Cuz it is not welcome. Like I'm feeling very I'm outwardly violent, apparently jokingly, jokingly.

But um, anyway, and so then I, then I started to work on that relationship. And [00:42:00] so the way that it then ultimately connected with money is because money is money. Listen, abundance, pleasure. Gratitude are almost one and the same frequency. And I often say to clients like if clients are really struggling, feeling pleasure in their life, which pleasure sexually, but

upwards. That's like pleasure of the joy in our life. Right? Like literally pleasure is how much are you actually enjoying your life? How much do you feel good when you have hit a milestone? Like let's say you make money and you wanna celebrate it. Can you actually feel it? Like, does it, do you feel it in your body?

When you're eating delicious food, are you feeling it in your body? Like, do you feel it, is it actually bringing pleasure? And so many of us are disconnected from that. If people are having trouble feeling that, I recommend they play with the energy of abundance or gratitude, if somebody's wanting to feel more abundance in their life and they can't access the energy of abundance, work with gratitude.

Right. Gratitude's actually the frequency that I worked with at the beginning, because it was the only one that was accessible to me. And. At the time right. That I [00:43:00] could access. And so it was hard for me, but I like really trained myself to feel grateful for very, very, very simple things. So when I say that I felt abundance in my life, it was because I'd learned to be grateful for my situation and see my situation or see things that were happening.

Like when I saw an angel number, I'd be like, ah, oh my gosh, thank you, universe, like, yeah, I'd get like a little ridiculous and silly about it, which is also why playfulness is such a fun business concept. But, um, I'd like allow pleasure and abundance into my body through gratitude. And so we can use all these different frequencies.

Um, but then it's like, there's so many layered concepts here as well because self-worth, money, um, pleasure. All related, right? Like our willingness to be able to receive, all related. Um, how I talk about, like my podcast is called Spirit Sex Money. The three pillars, really representing spirit, our soul, our innate worthiness, our innate abundance. Sex being our actual [00:44:00] physical experience of it being human.

Right? Like our soul can guide us all we want, but if we're not here having the human experience, there's no point and then money, which is our mission and our vision and everything like that. But, um, Yeah. I, I dunno if I answered your question, but it feels like, yeah. 

Meaghan: Yeah, that was, that was beautiful. I love that

you said that pleasure is being able to like experience your life because that's, that is my exact definition of pleasure. It's it's feeling like I've lived my life so much to the fullest where like, even when I'm bawling crying. I'm in pleasure because I am feeling something. I feel like the opposite of opposite of pleasure.

Yes. Is like, you know, um, what's the 

Viola: word? Um,

like an dissociation or a numbness, like association, but 

Meaghan: like, um, like. [00:45:00] When you don't feel like either, or you're just kind of, oh, apathy, apathy. Yeah. That's a good word. Yeah. But like, um, yeah, the opposite of pleasure is like apathy and not, not being in, not, not being able to feel anything like for so long.

I was just kind of like. In this state of indifference. That's the word I was looking for

Viola: that's. Yeah. Mm-hmm mm-hmm 

Meaghan: mm-hmm indifference. And so when I am in a state of like massive grief or massive anger or anything like that, like it's the dirt, it's the hell. It's the, it's the grime. And it's also the gold and like all of the fun and like feel good stuff.

Mm-hmm for me, pleasure, encompasses like when I'm living my life. That's when I'm in pleasure. Mm-hmm and it takes like it, um, makes room for the full range of human 

Viola: emotions. Yeah. I love that. You said that because I do agree. It's, it's our ability to feel it [00:46:00] all as well and, and not feel, um, just like, you know, with money,

it's like, we feel like, oh, it's good if it's this much, but it's bad if it's that much. No, with our emotions, it's the same thing. And our, what we feel it's like, it's good if it's this emotion, but it's bad if it's that emotion. No, it's like, we get to feel it all, and some feelings feel uncomfortable, but. Um, pleasure is the, the true expression of that.

And you know, that feeling when, like, after you have a really good cry. Yeah. Euphoric the same with like, um, you know, there's like a sacred anger practice that I do. And, and the whole point is transmuting, anger to pleasure. It's literally like the same. Yeah. But just different expressions of it and, yeah.

That's cool. Yeah. 

Meaghan: So I would love to also talk about how you connect to your like business entity through pleasure. Do you like commune with, you know, Viola Hug the business and ask, ask them [00:47:00] for guidance and stuff like that? 

Viola: uh, for me, it's actually, when you said it like that, I'm like, oh, I guess I don't necessarily in that sentence, but I do in other ways, like, so, um, oh, I guess I, I do, but I see it differently.

I think so it's like, for me, I've always had this like sense of, um, being guided. Like I said, like I had my spiritual awakening. Checking with my spirit team around my business decisions is like how I joke that spirit was my first business coach, because that's how I made all my decisions in my business at the start.

Like I said, I didn't have money. So I used what was most next successful for me. Um, but through that, it was like, I, I did create this like energy of my vision of my vocation, which I guess is my business. Um, and, um, this, this. Beautiful like ever evolving piece. And, and I see it visually quite often, like I see like the, the colors or the energetics or the impact of [00:48:00] what my work is really doing in the world.

And that's one of the ways that I really connect with it. And it's been interesting for me because both through, through things like meditation and just like being in my body to more, um, Like other practices, such as like a self-pleasure practice or, uh, uh, breathwork practice or different things like that of just really being in my body.

That's one of the ways that I use to expand the feelings of pleasure, abundance, and also purpose and like how I want to impact. So like an example of that would be like, I might be in a practice where I'm imagining, like how people will feel or transform within a container that I'm hosting. And I'm using this practice to like push this energy out into the world and like create more of like, um, a vibration of that around myself and my business.

I 

Meaghan: I love that. Mm-hmm yeah. It, it sounds like you really are able to connect with each container and the transformation that it's going to [00:49:00] provide to your 

Viola: clients. Mm-hmm yeah. Yeah. And it's. Because that's how I started off all of my early, um, before it was even about clients, you know, like I'd always start off with like, this is what I'm feeling and I'm pushing it out to the world, you know, like that kind of thing.

And I think that's like one of the big, energetic things that I still love to do with my business. 

Meaghan: I love that. I'm gonna, I'm gonna use that in my pleasure practice today. Mm-hmm perfect. Well, thank you so much Viola I've. I mean, I have a million questions we could go on for hours probably 

Viola: and I love to talk if it's not apparent. I always say like, when, like I used to have a podcast that I did interviews for, I have my podcast now is just a solo podcast, but I always said like, you can tell when you interview other podcasters because they know how to talk.

Meaghan: Yeah, I love that. Well, it was great having a conversation with you. Is there anything that you'd like to leave my audience with? Like a one liner or like a, um, something that's coming through for [00:50:00] you from spirit? 

Viola: I think, um, Hmm. Let's see. Hold on. There's like 50 things that I wanna say, because this conversation is so needed.

The one thing that I wanna leave you with is this remembrance that oftentimes on our way to, to the place, you know, we, we don't have a clear vision yet, we don't have a clear understanding of how it's all gonna work out and what it's gonna mean to us in hindsight. But when we look back, we see so much meaning in the decisions that we made.

And so it's so, so, so important to just get into that into your body and into like, a true connection with yourself and trust, whatever is coming through for you and move with that feeling in your world. You know, whether that's a decision that you're making for your business, in your personal life. Um, whatever it might be.

My biggest example of this was when I was in my labor. You know, like when I when I was in it, I know I would constantly go into my mind and stress [00:51:00] that it wasn't happening the way that it should, because I have very unique labors, but that's a story for another day. But, you know, like, and I had all of these like worries and I kept like bringing myself back to this in hindsight, it's gonna be perfect, in hindsight

it's gonna be perfect. And literally it was. So magical in hindsight. And it was like, now I can see why, why every little thing that happened, how it played a role, but at the time it felt random and it felt weird and it felt scary. Um, but in hindsight it was just so magical. And, um, we can look back on everything like that, whether we're driving lessons in hindsight or whether we are reveling in the experience of what we had to, we got to experience.

And so. Yeah, leaning into that trust and moving with where your body and your pleasure and your soul is guiding you and letting yourself be surprised in hindsight, be, have that clarity in hindsight. 

Meaghan: I love that. I love the, the idea of allowing life and money and sex to [00:52:00] surprise and delight us. Mm-hmm specifically with money, like allowing money to delight and like,

you know, like give us little gifts here and there and surprises. I I'm someone, I love surprises. Mm-hmm and a lot of people don't like surprises, but I'm like money surprised me more, 

Viola: I want more. Yeah. I love that. It's one of my favorite things when I'm like just doing something casually and I look down and I get like a notification of a payment.

I'm like, oh, I love it. Yeah. Take delight in 

Meaghan: it. Well, beautiful. Okay. So tell the people where they can find you and plug whatever, um, offer you got going on right now. 

Viola: Amazing. So I am @violahug on pretty much everything. My favorite place is to hang out right now are TikTok and Instagram. So if you wanna come hang out with me there, and then the next best place to get kind of my communications would be my email list, which you can find on my website, violahug.com.

Like there's a signup form there. Um, [00:53:00] and I'm always open to DMs. If you have any more questions or whatever, and in terms of what I'm doing and my offers, I am just about to open up, um, private coaching spaces again. But like I said, I am really letting myself be delighted with what I'm creating at the moment.

You'll be able to see whatever I have currently on offer. If you click on any of those links. Um, but it's all base. Oh, we didn't even talk about human design. Oh my gosh. But another really powerful piece, but it's all based on like really, um, self liberation and reclamation through your own individual energetics, pleasure,

like really, like the point of being successful, but actually enjoying your life along the way. 

Meaghan: true because what is success without 

Viola: life? Literally? And I think we forget that sometimes, right? Like . Yeah. Um, because. The patriarchal conditioning, but whenever , we'll fight it, one, one, um, moment of pleasure at a time.

[00:54:00] Exactly. 

Meaghan: Well, thank you, Viola for joining me. And, um, I will put all the links in the show notes and we'll have to get you on again to talk about human design because I please, yeah. Fascinated. I'm a manifesting generator. Mm-hmm and so my sacral authority is like, literally I go by my gut mm-hmm at every moment.

I'm. Okay. What, what would feel good to me next? And, and just like yes or no from the gut and then I'm, I'm doing it. 

Viola: Yes. I love that. Oh my gosh. Yeah. If we have like a whole episode on it, I can like really dive in deep and also bring in gene keys into it because they, they work really well together. Yeah.

Yeah. I haven't looked into Jean keys, but I'm fascinated by it. Hmm. That's so fun. okay. Well, 

Meaghan: we'll talk later. Okay. 

Viola: Okay. Bye. Bye. 

Meaghan: Bye.

Viola Hug Interview

Meaghan: [00:00:00] Welcome back to the Pleasurable Money Podcast. I'm your host, Meaghan, and I'm so happy to have you here. Today, I've got Viola Hug on the podcast and we are gonna talk all things, entrepreneurship, money, pleasure, sex, human design, which I have not talked about on the podcast yet, so very exciting. 

Viola: Mm-hmm

Meaghan: and dismantling the patriarchy. Viola, would you like to say a little intro?

Viola: Yeah. Hello. Hello to those that are listening, I'm excited to be here. I love all of these conversations, so I'm, I feel like it's the perfect fit to be here. um, and yeah, for those of you who are meeting me for the first time, my name's Viola hug, I'm a writer, speaker, and a mentor, and I'm the owner of a multiple six figure company.

And alongside my business world. I am also a mom to two Little's. I go by she/they [00:01:00] pronouns. I've been married to my husband for, um, 11, 11 over 11 years now. 

Meaghan: Wow. 

Viola: I lose track, but it's been a long ass time. Um, a great long ass time. Um, and yeah, like, I, I feel like my, my journey's just like ever unfolding with all of these beautiful pieces of, um, really finding what feels so important to me in bringing more joy and pleasure and abundant experiences into people's lives.

Um, and so much of that lies in the core foundations of what you mentioned, like dismantling the patriarchy and all that fun stuff. 

Meaghan: Yeah. Well, I'd love to start there. 

Viola: Yeah 

Meaghan: Because I'm always fascinated about people's ideas for dismantling the patriarchy. And I feel like people have their own ideas. And everything's so unique, the way people go about breaking down the systems that we have set in place. And 

Viola: mm-hmm, [00:02:00] 

Meaghan: blazing the trail for people who have been so marginalized for so long 

Viola: mm-hmm

Meaghan: So I'd love to talk about what your favorite way to dismantle the patriarchy and some of like the more creative ways that you've taught your clients, or maybe your clients have come up with 

Viola: mm-hmm 

Meaghan: their own ways.

Viola: Yeah. I mean, I feel like the whole concept is, um, to me is really like a reclamation of our own uniqueness versus trying like shaming ourselves, or even subconsciously feeling shame about who we really are and what we really desire and the power we have. Like it goes into so much of it. And I kind of stumbled into this idea of like, wait a second.

This is all linked to this bullshit, like concept of, you know, systems set up by men, very fragile men. And, um, it, for me, it was because like I started my entrepreneurship journey 10 years [00:03:00] ago now, and I was doing a whole bunch of different things at the beginning. You know, it was kind of like one of those things where I'd find opportunities or opportunities would find me. And I'd be like, I'm gonna try this because maybe this is the thing. And I knew it was entrepreneurship, but I hadn't really found my voice because I was so conditioned by the external world, I was seeking external validation and everything. You know, I thought when I made money, then people would respect me.

I thought when I was successful, then I would feel like I can relax. I thought, you know, like all of these, um, externally driven thoughts, which, I mean spoiler alert, which isn't probably a surprise to anybody, but it turned out when I could internally validate myself and kind of turn more inward that finally those things I was seeking actually came.

But we can still have money and we can still have success in various human ways, um, in allowing that to happen. But I was so externally driven and, um, I burnt myself out and I was listening [00:04:00] to like, what I now see is actually like hustle culture. And I was listening to very old paradigm business tactics and all of these things that intuitively didn't feel right.

But I pushed my intuition to the side, cuz I thought. Who am I? Like, I'm just a young, you know, 20 year old. I don't know anything. I need to follow these like rich successful 60, 50 year olds. like 70 year olds. And I'm just like, now I'm like, what were you thinking? But I burnt myself out and I was broke.

Like I was so broke, no matter how hard I tried, like I, every year, like I, I, at new year's, I would like set myself stricter refinements of what I was allowed to do, because I thought that it was my leisurely time that was taking away from me being successful. So I remember like 2017, which was um, the last year that I kind of like set myself a rule before I had my like great awakening.

It was also my Saturn return year, but I like made the rule that I wasn't allowed to watch any TV because I was like, [00:05:00] I, when I watch TV, I just like binge watch. And so it must be TV. That must be the reason why I'm not successful. Cuz you know, you hear old school business people be like, I don't watch TV and LA da, da, da.

Yeah. Um, and uh, then I had my um, saturn return that year. And I had two really huge awakenings. I had my abundance awakening and I had my spiritual awakening and I promised this all links together. And with those two awakenings, I started my business and I started my business with wanting to honor my own individual energetics, you know, finding human design, um, like being like, Hey, maybe emotional regulation is something I should look into.

Like maybe, honoring myself. I don't know, healing some of these things going on in my mind is a good idea. And my abundance awakening was like a culmination of me being in such bad debt that I had to start researching money and learning about money and all these different things. But then on, on an energetic level, it was actually almost like transcending just the concept of [00:06:00] money and really moving into the vibration of abundance and, and learning how to feel abundant, grateful, worthy.

Even when there wasn't an external proof that that was available. And then. Um, kind of fast forwarding, I built my business, it grew to multiple six figures. Then I had my first child and then I have boom sexual awakening. My third grade awakening. And that was kind of like the final piece for me. And that's where I really

started to see, because for me, the sexual awakening was a reclamation of pleasure. It was a reclamation of my body. It was a reclamation of my desires. It was like healing, shame about things that I didn't even notice that I held shame about. And sexuality. Yes. But it's almost so much more than that. It, to me, this whole pillar in my work represents our humanness.

It represents our experience. Um, and when I started to look into that, I realized like how. So much of what we believe like, oh, I, you know, I, I look [00:07:00] ugly, oh my God, I need to shave, oh my God. Like all of these thoughts that we complete always have on a loop in our mind is brought forward by the society that is actually kind of messed up when you think of the roots of all these things.

And so I started to pay attention to that and ultimately my, my version of dismantling the patriarchy comes back to radical self reclamation. And, um, just like being like, fuck you. I don't need to build my business in any type of way, and I can still be successful. Like, fuck you. I can have money. And I don't.

like. It's a little bit of like a rebellion, but it's also just like a I'm finally just gonna let myself be happy, like easier said than done, but you know, that's really what it comes down to. It's identifying all of these ways in which most or so many of our limiting beliefs come back to just a conditioning by a [00:08:00] society that isn't serving anyone. 

Meaghan: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Wow. That was, that was a lot of. Compounding your awareness of like, of like your, your reality. So like your three great awakenings were like, you know, The first thing you wanted to break through and blaze your own path with and like not listen to what you've been told to do. And then you're like, okay, well maybe I can do this with money and then, okay, well maybe I can do this with my sexuality and my pleasure and who I am in my body.

So like it's just compounding and I'm sure you're gonna have many more great awakenings. And you're just gonna add to the list of like things that you're rebelling and, and reclaiming, like you said, like it's a right. It's a total reclamation. 

Viola: I like have like one more point. I just wanna add, because I feel like it's so relevant for your audience, but [00:09:00] like one of the big things the past couple years for me, which is like, I guess like a creative perspective as well.

Um, To some, uh, anyway, it was, to me when I was first kind of like diving into it, but one of the big things was like, even my gender identity and my sexuality were things that I like really in hindsight, just accepted by what the world told me, you know, I was just like, okay, yeah. Like the world's like, you're a woman and I'm like, okay.

And the world's like, you're straight. Okay. You know? And it was. Um, and it's just been really interesting because I have a sister who I identifies on the non-binary spectrum. I do in a way as well, which is why I go by she, they pronouns. But like, to me, it was, um, such a reclamation of that as well. It was like, I, the more I started to look into my own identity,

and I, it's funny, cuz I started this years ago, but my first thing I ever learned about myself and this sounds crazy, but it was my favorite color and I find it really interesting cuz when I say that a lot of people [00:10:00] say, huh, that's true. I don't actually know my favorite color either because I'm so conditioned by the outside world and always responding.

And um, that also mixed with like a couple of neuro divergencies that I have. It's like, I just didn't know myself at all. And now it's going to such deeper layers of realizing that literally like everything about our identity is, is put on us. And unless we're actively seeking to question our identity, who we are, our power, we are not fully like in our true essence.

And it really comes back when we talk about business and success and money, I believe the more we become our own like unique frequency who are really designed to be the easier successes, because there's no noise between our innate abundance, our innate worthiness and our external experience anymore. Um, And sometimes what the world told us is true about ourselves, but sometimes it's not.

And so I think that's why it's so important to, um, to really question everything. [00:11:00] 

Meaghan: Over and over again, because even if, 

Viola: yeah, exactly. 

Meaghan: Even if the question, the answer was one thing, one day it's gonna, it might be a different thing. 

Viola: Oh yeah. 

Meaghan: The next day.

Viola: That's such a good point. 

Meaghan: I love that you brought that up because I do have a, a wide queer audience and I've got a ton of queer friends.

Viola: Mm-hmm 

Meaghan: who are constantly breaking down what it means to be a woman or to have a pussy or you know what that means in the world. Do you wanna talk a little bit more about, do you identify as queer or is it more just, 

Viola: yeah. 

Meaghan: Okay, cool. I'd love to hear more about that, um, process for you to awaken into. 

Viola: Yeah. Um, like in hindsight, and this is why I love hindsight because everything's so much clearer , but in hindsight, I'm like, I was always queer AF, but I also had such I guess internalized homophobia in a way, you know, like I always just thought, and this comes back to my worth. Honestly, like when I said before that I was seeking [00:12:00] the external world for validation, for things, one of those things for me was I thought if a man thought I was attractive, that I was worthy, I really did.

And as, um, someone who is, you know, AFAB woman, somebody who's grown up as a woman in society, it's like, we are really seen as objects which is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but we are, we are really seen as, um, objects in this patriarchal society. And that's just apparent with how so many of us crave that attention.

And so in hindsight, so much of my actual quote, unquote attraction to men was really just seeking validation that I was good enough. And it's not that I, I, I mainly identify as queer. I sometimes say bisexual, but I just love like the word queer. Is that what feels the most like me? Yeah. Um, And I am married to a man and we have a very hetero presenting relationship, but we're both queer in our, [00:13:00] you know, in our own

right. Um, but that's like when I was growing up, it was almost like I never gave myself the opportunity to explore because I was also in those early, like, or late teen years and early 20 years while I was exploring my sexuality or like sexually active or whatever, I was in a very dark place. Like I just lost my dad to cancer.

I didn't have any support that I really needed in terms of like my mental health. I was severely depressed. I was, um, you know, trigger warning, but I was, you know, self-harming and suicidal. Like I was in a very, very dark place. And so I was really using a lot of my partying, a lot of my like relationships as a form of self harm.

Like I was not in a good place. And then it just so happened to be that as I started going, huh, this doesn't really feel right. And I started, um, you know, seeking therapy on my own, which was about five years after my dad passed away. When I was 21. Um, [00:14:00] within a year I met my partner and he's like the perfect match for me.

You know, we just like, we're amazing. We get on. And, and so it was almost like so much of my exploration of who I am and what my identity is from a healed perspective was never explored when I was single. And although I had experiences, but I was just put them off to like, oh, that's just like a thing, a one time thing, you know, or like, Like that kind of thing.

And if I found other women attractive or other people attractive, I would just have, like, I would just push it down and just assume I was straight or assume that wasn't a big deal. And then it wasn't. Yeah, until like a couple years ago, hashtag pandemic awakening um, it wasn't until then that I started like, you know, going on TikTok and hearing other people's experiences.

I'm like, wait, I think that all the time, and I heard this one thing say sometimes like, straight people don't think that everybody's queer. And I was like, wait, I, because I always used to be like, everyone's a little queer. Like [00:15:00] everyone's a little me do. That's 

Meaghan: what I, that's what I say too. Yeah. 

Viola: Yeah. And, and someone was like, no straight people don't think that I'm like, mm, I don't believe you.

Like everyone thinks everyone thinks that they're like, no really straight people don't think that. And I was like, Oh, . And so it's been really interesting because for me it's been like my exploration and like, I'm, I'm in a relationship, I'm happy. I'm we're monogamous and we like it that way. Like, we feel really good, but it's been an interesting experience of almost like this reclamation of really who I am.

Um, And being able to have those conversations with my partner, but to me, like now I just feel like so much more like this is so much more me. Like I'm so much more happy now in my identity. And it's yeah, it's very liberating. 

Meaghan: I love that. You, I love that you're an example of another person who identifies as queer, but is also in a hetero presenting relationship.

Viola: Mm-hmm 

Meaghan: Oftentimes, I feel not queer enough. 

Viola: Yeah. 

Meaghan: To be in spaces because [00:16:00] I am also in a hetero relationship with my husband and 

Viola: Mm-hmm,

Meaghan: we've also been together for 11 years. We've only been married for two, but, um, 

Viola: oh, that's awesome. 

Meaghan: We've been together for 11 years.

Viola: Yeah. 

Meaghan: Um, but. Yeah. And so I often feel like, okay, I am, I am a cis woman who identifies very much as she her and like, I'm married to a cis man.

And so like, nobody's gonna believe me when I'm in queer spaces. Like, they're just gonna think that I'm an ally, which, you know, like, you're, you're enough if you're an ally too, but it's just like, like I wanted to be a part of the, like I wanted to be in the, in the crowd, you know, like I wanna be 

Viola: in . Yeah. I felt that so many times too.

And it's um, yeah, I still feel that sometimes, especially because I have a lot of, um, like gay or lesbian friends, and then I often feel like I'm just like, Hey, like let's okay. but I think also like a part of [00:17:00] me, which is like there it's like hard either way in a way it's just different types of hard, because I feel like people who

have been outrightly, queer and had like very queer presenting relationships, even though my relationship's still a queer relationship, it just looks hetero. Right. But it's like, um, a lot of people who've had queer presenting relationships they've had to deal with, you know, the, all of the hardships that come along with that because our society is still

shit, basically when it comes to that, like, I love that there's like online spaces where we can really like warp our reality of how, um, accepted queer is. But in, in the greater scheme of things, like, and in America right now, like it's just so fucked. Like I can't even like. Ugh drives me nuts. And so they've had to deal with like a whole different set of things and I've never had to deal with that because I've been, um, I've had the privilege of having a hetero presenting relationship.

The like [00:18:00] basically my whole relationship life at the same time though, I've had an inner conflict this whole time. So it was like inner in my insides, I was like battling and I was like, not quite there, but, um, Yeah. So it's like, it's a different type of hard, but it's. Yeah. I, I love it when I meet other queer people who are, you know, in the similar position to you and I

Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm well, affirming. Something came up, 

Meaghan: um, when we were talking kind of around, like, how do you. When you were, uh, sorry, let me form this thought. yeah, no, it's fine. At the beginning of your business, or even whenever you go into an awakening and you're still kind of learning, how, how do you find yourself teaching your audience

things that are not fully formed for you yet? Mm-hmm either in business about money or whatever it was. 

Viola: Mm-hmm mm-hmm Okay, so. I have like, um, I guess like, I've [00:19:00] this, isn't a straightforward answer as with most of things in life, but I would say that there's like two aspects of it. One, I don't believe we ever really master something fully.

We are always continually in mastery. And I think that when, when we are in mastery of something, we be, we begin to understand it and see things from a different perspective. And all that really means like being in mastery of something is we are actively and, um, well, I guess just actively pursuing something.

So money is a really easy example, right? It's like if we, um, Well, I'll use my money example. So I had this like abundance awakening, but I wasn't making money yet. My abundance awakening was so much about like understanding the energetics behind making money or not just making money in terms of like how to sell, but more just like being available and open to receiving in our lives, like more the energetic side.

And so I started practicing these things and, um, then I, you know, I made like a thousand [00:20:00] dollars in my like second month in business and then I made like, I don't know, $1,500 a third month. And it was like a very slow start, but it was happening. And. For context. I was so broke at that time when I started my business, that we were staying with my mom, my husband and I, because we couldn't afford to find a place to rent and we couldn't afford food.

So like we stayed with her and my husband drove Uber so that we could pay our bills, which were thousands of dollars in debt. Like the bank's calling us like every freaking day. You need to make a payment, you need to make a payment. And we're like, oh my gosh. Like, it just felt like we were drowning in terms of our situation.

And there was so much of me who that felt shame for my situation, but as I started to like play with these energetics and just really commit myself to this, I started to feel different. So even though I was still in that position for the first, like few months of my business, particularly, um, like financially things hadn't really changed, cuz it was like every dollar I made had to go to pay this bill [00:21:00] had to go do this.

It wasn't like, we were like, oh, now we have a thousand extra dollars. Like it was like, no, like now we can pay this bill that's two years late. Um, so it was financially overall things weren't looking that good at the beginning, but energetically, I was feeling different because I was like, I could see like my vision and all these things that I wanted so much more.

I could really, like, I was like respecting my money in, in the ways that I'd been taught. And I was like, you know, like calculating everything, like making sure I knew what was going on with my money. And I was respecting it and I was energetically feeling grateful and happy nonetheless. And then. It was around like eight months into my business, that things really started to shift.

Um, and it was around that time that my husband and I decided to buy a one way ticket to Germany and be digital nomads. And I'd made like just enough money to pay for our tickets over. And that was like, it, it was like no credit, no savings, no nothing. And not. That I, I don't necessarily recommend people make like, quote [00:22:00] unquote reckless financial decisions, but there was like something about the way we were making that decision, that it didn't feel reckless, but it was like, in hindsight, I'm like, you are crazy.

Like, what were you doing. Anyway, very strong intuition that that was the right move. And for. The next, almost two years, we were digital nomads traveling full time. And in that time is when my business crossed six figures. And that times is when I started making, you know, multiple five figure months and all these like crazy, crazy things.

But, um, at the beginning I was so obsessed with this energy of abundance, because I was like, noticing how it was, it was changing my reality, even before I started making money. But then every time I made money, it was like a pop surprise of like, this is amazing. And so I, um, I basically would, at the beginning, if I was talking about abundance, it was really just like, kind of working with clients and noticing that they had like a lack thought or something of this, because it's something that I've been working on.

I might shift that for them, or I might take them into like, understanding where this thought might be coming from or that these [00:23:00] things that I had been in mastery of. So I wasn't necessarily teaching, Hey, I'm gonna teach you how to make money, but I was teaching, Hey, these are the concepts that have been really helpful for me around abundance and money.

And then I remember it was about like, It was just after or, or before, or it was around the time that I crossed six figures for my, um, business that I then felt like I'm ready to teach a money program, you know? And, and that's when I like reflected. And I thought to myself, what are all the things that I've done, like really went inward and like paid attention to what did I actually do?

Like, not just, what's a cool concept about money, cuz there's plenty of money concepts that I'd heard that I hadn't applied that feel really fun to teach, you know, just to regurgitate them. But I like gave myself, um, permission to just like really reflect and be like, what was my way? Like what really shifted it for me?

What really healed the stories for me? What, when did it really change? Like, and that's when I started to notice like, Hey, I was like seeking external validation here and I actually started [00:24:00] trusting myself here. Hey, like here's where I, you know, realized that I was completely neglecting the money in my life.

And here's where I started taking responsibility. So it was more so that like I gave myself space to only teach what was, what truly felt like it was working for me. And it was real for me versus, um, what I thought I should be teaching. I love that. 

Meaghan: I love that because I think a lot of coaches fall into this trap of like, people wanna hear that they can make 5k months mm-hmm or people wanna hear that they can make six figures with this program.

Mm-hmm so I have to promise them a certain dollar amount or I have to promise them like, you know, what I feel like they want, what, what bro marketing is telling me that all of my clients want mm-hmm . And so it's just really encouraging to hear that you allowed yourself to teach what was alive and real for you and not kind of step into the, [00:25:00] into

a bit of lying about what, what you wanted, what you were capable of, 

Viola: teaching someone. Yeah. And like, even then when I started, you know, like when I made $10,000 for the first time in a month, you know, then it became like such an easy marketing tool to be like, you know, I make 10K months and come learn from me.

And, um, and it definitely felt aligned at the time because the way that I was doing it at the time was from pure joy and inspiration. And it wasn't like, oh, now I have this cool thing. Like, it was just like, Inspiration and, and everything, but it's interesting because you know, you talk about how you mentioned like, oh, we're gonna keep having awakenings and there's gonna be new layers, a hundred percent.

It's like the way that I feel now about money is so different. And I know it's one of the things you wanted to talk about as well, but like, it's been so interesting watching my money evolution completely evolved because, you know, I went from this place where I had a really terrible relationship with money and I was really broke to then having a [00:26:00] good relationship with money in the sense of how I felt about money, but still being broke.

And then I started making money and. Then I had money. And then, um, the most interesting thing happened, even though I was aware of all of these concepts of like, you know, it's not about, money's not gonna change your worth. Like it's about you needing to feel really good. And the money's just kind of like a bonus.

And, um, it's a complex topic for the mind because our humanness really likes to put things in categories and our human mind is always gonna be driven by ego in some respect. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, cuz the ego is part of the human experience. It's part of what we're here to experience. And like it's literally the whole point, right?

We're not supposed to be souls living ethereally. We're supposed to be humans. So, polarity's part of the game. But, um, even though it's like, I knew all of these concepts, I started to notice how then suddenly, um, six figures wasn't good enough anymore because my friends were now making seven figures, you [00:27:00] know?

And it was like, I went through this phase where I literally felt like making six figures was shitter than when I made no money. you know, I was like, oh my God, like, I need to make more money. How can I make more money? And it was almost like starting to become an obsession and it happened so subtly that I almost didn't catch it.

And then I noticed it was happening. And I was like, oh my God, this is so interesting. And I noticed even how, like, even though I like everything that I've offered, I really, really love, but I noticed how there was a phase where it was almost like I was like, I need to offer this so that it can create da, da, da, da, da in my life.

And I just recently, like the last year, I was like, basically I wasn't fully in my business because I was pregnant. And then I had a baby and I was on maternity leave for the last four months. During my pregnancy, I was sick because I have like severe nausea and vomiting in my pregnancies, which is like not fun.

That's like the whole way through the pregnancy. Um, and so I've like not really [00:28:00] shown up fully in a year. The last four months I had completely off. And it's been like the most beautiful space for introspection and reflection. And it's so funny because even though I know that the work that I do can absolutely unlock people to making their six figures, their seven figures, like whatever.

In so many of my past clients, like I have multiple past clients that are millionaires now. And I'm just like, of course you are . Um, but not saying that it was only me, but you know, like I, I just, the foundation of the, the work that I teach is can unlock that for people. And anyway, so. Now I'm noticing that it's like the feeling of teaching money feels so different to me again, it's just like, I don't even care about like those marketing techniques.

They just don't feel authentic and real for me anymore. Um, I just want people's lives to actually change. Like, I want you to walk away with what you learn in the rest of your life. Be better and feel more abundant and joyful because of it. And you just happen to make more money along the way. [00:29:00] Yeah. Cool.

Meaghan: I love that. You said that your, the actual money making didn't come immediately, like you started shifting your relationship with money and you felt better about the abundance in your life, and you felt better about the, your current situation with money, but then it didn't, you know, it, it took a while for, for it to catch up to you.

Yeah. And, and the internal, like shifts that you were making mm-hmm . I love that, cuz I feel like that's how I teach money as well with, with pleasure and everything intertwined because it is such a worthiness piece and our self worth finally clicking into place. And then. Slowly the money starts to follow as we claim that self worth over and over and over again.

Mm-hmm and choose our pleasure. Every time we, we choose to, to swipe our card or pay a bill or whatever it is, 

Viola: mm-hmm . [00:30:00] Mm-hmm . I love that. And I love how you said, like choose it every time, because that's what it is about it is. And that's, I think the moral of the story of what I just shared is like, um, even though I knew these concepts, I'd become complacent with some of those choices, I feel like with, with money in some ways.

And so suddenly, even though I was in complete overflow, more than I'd ever been in my life, there was still parts of me that were like, but I'm not enough, but this isn't enough, but it should be more, but, you know, and, and, um, I've I've been dismantling this idea for so long, but I think it's also part of dismantling the patriarchy and it's something that's meant to be discovered in layers, but.

Even though making more money is still a goal that's totally allowed and, and totally amazing because money is such a powerful tool for us as humans, for both our own pleasure, our own experiences that we get to have, but also, um, who we get to be in the world and what we get to do when we have money.

Like there's just so many awesome benefits to being rich. [00:31:00] Yeah. Um, But at the same time, it's like the hierarchy of it always needing to be more like this month needs to be more than last month and this month needs to be more than the next month, whatever. Or, you know, like, the hierarchy of always needing it to be more I'm like we are cyclical beings.

Like we are gonna go through times in our life where it's gonna be growth, growth, growth, growth, growth, and that's gonna be, what's so fun. And then there's gonna be other times where there's growth in other areas of my life. And like, my relationship is a great example of that because we've been together for 11 years and that's 11 years of a lot of life changes and, um, As you would know and there's been like times in our relationship where we've really prioritized, like careers been the number one thing we've prioritized.

There's been times of our relationship where intimacy was the number one thing we prioritized. There's been times where like right now parenting is the number one thing that we're prioritizing. And it doesn't negate any of the rest of our relationship. And it doesn't mean [00:32:00] that we're like, it doesn't mean that we don't care about anything else, just because something's not a priority.

It's just, we're going through the different ebbs and flows of life and the different cycles of life and different things feel important at different times. And I wish we would give ourselves that grace sometimes when it came to business and when it came to money, because we often have a narrative that if it's not always going up, it's not good enough.

Or, or we're we're, um, plateauing or we're this, or we're that, and it's. No, like . Yeah. It's like, I don't have all the answers for that, but I definitely know that it's an inner game. Yeah. What came 

Meaghan: up for me was when you were saying, you know, one month has to be more than the next, more than next. And when it's not like, what does that say about me?

Yeah. Like what, what does that mean about me? If I'm not compounding my income? What if it goes down? If I make $0 the month after I made 10 K mm-hmm, like, what, what am I missing? And constantly trying to fix. And. [00:33:00] Answer a question that doesn't even exist to begin with. Like, it has nothing to do with our, with us or our worthiness and mm-hmm yeah.

It's just a fascinating piece 

Viola: of the puzzle. It is. And that's like the exact experience that I had the first time that I made $20,000. It wasn't yay. Oh my God. This is so amazing and abundant. It was how the F am I gonna do it again? Yeah. And I remember that feeling. I was scared. I was. And I didn't make $20,000 the next month.

And I felt like shit about it. yeah. And it was like, in hindsight, I'm like, Ugh, honey, but like at the time, yeah. At the time, it was like, I really started to make it mean things about me, which it doesn't, it, it doesn't at all. And in hindsight, it's like, we're not looking like this month I made this and this month I made that.

It's like, when I look back at that year, I was like, oh my gosh, I was in Hawaii when that happened. And I did this with my partner and that's the year that I got pregnant with my first kid, you know, like, that's what I'm thinking about. I'm not thinking, oh, well I made this much. And then I didn't make that much.[00:34:00] 

Meaghan: Yeah. Right. So while we're talking about money, before we move on to the next topic, what would you say is your like current money, like, um, hurdle that you're working on 

Viola: right now? I think, uh, reflecting off what we've already talked about, it's like really this for me now. It's like, how am I really showing up in this world of being a teacher of money and, um, Bringing this new kind of like awareness and realization that I had where it's still like, you get to have more money, but it's not about having more money, you know?

And for me that's been it's yeah. I've lately been working on that other layer because like I said, I took maternity leave. I actively wasn't working, which we planned for, but when I didn't see the money that would normally come in from like live things that I was doing, I had a moment of like, and I was like, oh, this is another layer for me.

You know? So it was just another way for me to like, get into deeper acceptance and, [00:35:00] and actually finding out like, where's the real motivator here when it comes to money. Where's the real, like where, where is there parts of me that are still holding onto what I think other people are gonna think if they found out that, you know, like all of these mind chatter things.

And so. Like, what I know is that I live an incredibly abundant and privileged and amazing life. And I don't ever wanna be in a place where I am like not believing that or not living that because of an external circumstance. Like. How much money you make or this. So for me, that's been like really a lot of the internal work, um, and what I'm like really navigating, bringing more into the, the world of money and business in our online coaching world.

Yeah. I love that. 

Meaghan: And what a like, test of faith and like self assurance taking almost an entire year off of your business. Like, [00:36:00] you know, like you have that must have challenged every single piece of like your business identity that you ever set into 

Viola: place. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, it was like only really four months off properly, but the rest of the time was like, I should have been off really.

It would've saved myself stress, but it was like, I was really not showing up anywhere as I normally could, because I was literally throwing up all day every day and trying to parent a toddler. Yeah. But yeah, it is like that. And that's like that. That's why I feel like, so. You know, if I'm proud of the work that I've done recently, it's like really of like I'm living. One.

It's been proof to me that all the abundance work that I did at the beginning really, really does transform your life because my husband and I like talked about it. We had, we've had like so many crazy things happen the last year as well. It felt like honestly, like probably one of the hardest years in terms of all the

crazy shit that happened. But like, we talked about how there was like, even when there was really like [00:37:00] unexpected things coming up financially or these things, like, we never felt that stress or worry that we used to feel all the time. It was just like a normal, everyday part of life for us back then that I didn't actually think you would ever live without , you know, and it, and I realize that I can like feel that regardless of the financial situation now, and that was like, I'm like so proud of this work, I'm really proud of this work.

And because the thing is money's never gonna change the way we feel about money. That's the important thing to realize is that, um, and all of the examples I gave are just proof of that, but it's like, you can have, be making no money and feel a particular way about yourself and your financial situation.

And there's also people who are absolutely rich, who are, um, you know, they hoard their money or they do this with their money because they still feel scarcity. The feeling of abundance and scarcity is not related to the amount of money that we have. 

Meaghan: Yeah, I have said it before, but I'm sure Jeff Bezos has those [00:38:00] thoughts sometimes of like, what if it all goes away tomorrow?

Like, 

Viola: well, that's what I mean. It's like, these people are so rich, they can literally solve like all of the major problems in the world right now. and that, that like our money related and they're still like, no, but it would put a tiny dent into my billions it's like, right. Oh, yeah, 

Meaghan: well, yeah, I'm sure like your pleasure practice has been a major.

Part of like you implementing like a nervous system that can handle mm-hmm all the, all the life changes you've gone through over the last three or four years since having two babies. And mm-hmm, moving back to Nova Scotia and like all of that kind of stuff. Like tell, tell us a little bit about how you connect pleasure to your money.

Viola: Yeah. So, um, Exactly. Like what you said in terms of [00:39:00] the, like using it to regulate your nervous system? I think so many of us are disconnected from our body and I think that's one of the things that like the patriarchy thrives off is women particularly being disconnected from their body and men really like, you know, men aren't allowed to feel emotions and all these different things either.

But particularly in my experience, it's been about this like connection with the body and realizing that like, I. Um, through like, through living in the system where I'm just like living in it versus then being conscious and like choosing how I live in within it. It's like, I didn't know what I liked. I didn't like physically pleasure and pleasure and sex, like, even in just like.

Like I said before, like my favorite color, even when it comes to like all these different things, there's so much about myself that I didn't, like, I had a numb connection with my body, with my emotion, because I'd always thought that emotions were weak. And so I disconnected myself in that way. Right. Like I always thought like, When I learned bro [00:40:00] culture business, it's like, oh, you can't be emotional.

You can't have emotions, put those away. Um, and so there's like, so, so much disconnection from the body. And what I've really learned is that our body is such a powerful metaphor in a sense of what we're able to hold. And I mean, it is kind of like the tuning fork for it all, really, but it's like how we feel is makes such a big difference to what we experience.

So, um, I mean, there are so many examples that prove this. You walk into a room and someone's been fighting, you feel it in your body. You walk into the room and it's a good, happy vibe, everyone's getting along, you feel it in your body. It's like it completely either relaxes you or tenses you up. And the same thing is true with so much of, um, like scarcity and abundance.

We feel it in our body when we're feeling the feeling and. When we get more in connection with our body, we are so much more hyper aware of the things that are really, um, serving us or not [00:41:00] serving us. And so the first reclamation of pleasure for me was really just like getting back into connection with my body and paying attention to.

What I liked and also realizing this is like my body, especially when we talk about like pleasure from a sexuality perspective, it was just like, I was, felt too much shame to even touch myself. Like I was like, I did it, but I would be very shameful about it, you know? And I'd be like, I can never tell anybody this, this is the most embarrassing thing ever.

And then when I started to like, work on those thoughts. I was like, this is very messed up, like in what world and how did this come to be that people are embarrassed to touch themselves? And like, feel pleasure? Like where, how, what I'm gonna punch that concept in the face. Cuz it is not welcome. Like I'm feeling very I'm outwardly violent, apparently jokingly, jokingly.

But um, anyway, and so then I, then I started to work on that relationship. And [00:42:00] so the way that it then ultimately connected with money is because money is money. Listen, abundance, pleasure. Gratitude are almost one and the same frequency. And I often say to clients like if clients are really struggling, feeling pleasure in their life, which pleasure sexually, but

upwards. That's like pleasure of the joy in our life. Right? Like literally pleasure is how much are you actually enjoying your life? How much do you feel good when you have hit a milestone? Like let's say you make money and you wanna celebrate it. Can you actually feel it? Like, does it, do you feel it in your body?

When you're eating delicious food, are you feeling it in your body? Like, do you feel it, is it actually bringing pleasure? And so many of us are disconnected from that. If people are having trouble feeling that, I recommend they play with the energy of abundance or gratitude, if somebody's wanting to feel more abundance in their life and they can't access the energy of abundance, work with gratitude.

Right. Gratitude's actually the frequency that I worked with at the beginning, because it was the only one that was accessible to me. And. At the time right. That I [00:43:00] could access. And so it was hard for me, but I like really trained myself to feel grateful for very, very, very simple things. So when I say that I felt abundance in my life, it was because I'd learned to be grateful for my situation and see my situation or see things that were happening.

Like when I saw an angel number, I'd be like, ah, oh my gosh, thank you, universe, like, yeah, I'd get like a little ridiculous and silly about it, which is also why playfulness is such a fun business concept. But, um, I'd like allow pleasure and abundance into my body through gratitude. And so we can use all these different frequencies.

Um, but then it's like, there's so many layered concepts here as well because self-worth, money, um, pleasure. All related, right? Like our willingness to be able to receive, all related. Um, how I talk about, like my podcast is called Spirit Sex Money. The three pillars, really representing spirit, our soul, our innate worthiness, our innate abundance. Sex being our actual [00:44:00] physical experience of it being human.

Right? Like our soul can guide us all we want, but if we're not here having the human experience, there's no point and then money, which is our mission and our vision and everything like that. But, um, Yeah. I, I dunno if I answered your question, but it feels like, yeah. 

Meaghan: Yeah, that was, that was beautiful. I love that

you said that pleasure is being able to like experience your life because that's, that is my exact definition of pleasure. It's it's feeling like I've lived my life so much to the fullest where like, even when I'm bawling crying. I'm in pleasure because I am feeling something. I feel like the opposite of opposite of pleasure.

Yes. Is like, you know, um, what's the 

Viola: word? Um,

like an dissociation or a numbness, like association, but 

Meaghan: like, um, like. [00:45:00] When you don't feel like either, or you're just kind of, oh, apathy, apathy. Yeah. That's a good word. Yeah. But like, um, yeah, the opposite of pleasure is like apathy and not, not being in, not, not being able to feel anything like for so long.

I was just kind of like. In this state of indifference. That's the word I was looking for

Viola: that's. Yeah. Mm-hmm mm-hmm 

Meaghan: mm-hmm indifference. And so when I am in a state of like massive grief or massive anger or anything like that, like it's the dirt, it's the hell. It's the, it's the grime. And it's also the gold and like all of the fun and like feel good stuff.

Mm-hmm for me, pleasure, encompasses like when I'm living my life. That's when I'm in pleasure. Mm-hmm and it takes like it, um, makes room for the full range of human 

Viola: emotions. Yeah. I love that. You said that because I do agree. It's, it's our ability to feel it [00:46:00] all as well and, and not feel, um, just like, you know, with money,

it's like, we feel like, oh, it's good if it's this much, but it's bad if it's that much. No, with our emotions, it's the same thing. And our, what we feel it's like, it's good if it's this emotion, but it's bad if it's that emotion. No, it's like, we get to feel it all, and some feelings feel uncomfortable, but. Um, pleasure is the, the true expression of that.

And you know, that feeling when, like, after you have a really good cry. Yeah. Euphoric the same with like, um, you know, there's like a sacred anger practice that I do. And, and the whole point is transmuting, anger to pleasure. It's literally like the same. Yeah. But just different expressions of it and, yeah.

That's cool. Yeah. 

Meaghan: So I would love to also talk about how you connect to your like business entity through pleasure. Do you like commune with, you know, Viola Hug the business and ask, ask them [00:47:00] for guidance and stuff like that? 

Viola: uh, for me, it's actually, when you said it like that, I'm like, oh, I guess I don't necessarily in that sentence, but I do in other ways, like, so, um, oh, I guess I, I do, but I see it differently.

I think so it's like, for me, I've always had this like sense of, um, being guided. Like I said, like I had my spiritual awakening. Checking with my spirit team around my business decisions is like how I joke that spirit was my first business coach, because that's how I made all my decisions in my business at the start.

Like I said, I didn't have money. So I used what was most next successful for me. Um, but through that, it was like, I, I did create this like energy of my vision of my vocation, which I guess is my business. Um, and, um, this, this. Beautiful like ever evolving piece. And, and I see it visually quite often, like I see like the, the colors or the energetics or the impact of [00:48:00] what my work is really doing in the world.

And that's one of the ways that I really connect with it. And it's been interesting for me because both through, through things like meditation and just like being in my body to more, um, Like other practices, such as like a self-pleasure practice or, uh, uh, breathwork practice or different things like that of just really being in my body.

That's one of the ways that I use to expand the feelings of pleasure, abundance, and also purpose and like how I want to impact. So like an example of that would be like, I might be in a practice where I'm imagining, like how people will feel or transform within a container that I'm hosting. And I'm using this practice to like push this energy out into the world and like create more of like, um, a vibration of that around myself and my business.

I 

Meaghan: I love that. Mm-hmm yeah. It, it sounds like you really are able to connect with each container and the transformation that it's going to [00:49:00] provide to your 

Viola: clients. Mm-hmm yeah. Yeah. And it's. Because that's how I started off all of my early, um, before it was even about clients, you know, like I'd always start off with like, this is what I'm feeling and I'm pushing it out to the world, you know, like that kind of thing.

And I think that's like one of the big, energetic things that I still love to do with my business. 

Meaghan: I love that. I'm gonna, I'm gonna use that in my pleasure practice today. Mm-hmm perfect. Well, thank you so much Viola I've. I mean, I have a million questions we could go on for hours probably 

Viola: and I love to talk if it's not apparent. I always say like, when, like I used to have a podcast that I did interviews for, I have my podcast now is just a solo podcast, but I always said like, you can tell when you interview other podcasters because they know how to talk.

Meaghan: Yeah, I love that. Well, it was great having a conversation with you. Is there anything that you'd like to leave my audience with? Like a one liner or like a, um, something that's coming through for [00:50:00] you from spirit? 

Viola: I think, um, Hmm. Let's see. Hold on. There's like 50 things that I wanna say, because this conversation is so needed.

The one thing that I wanna leave you with is this remembrance that oftentimes on our way to, to the place, you know, we, we don't have a clear vision yet, we don't have a clear understanding of how it's all gonna work out and what it's gonna mean to us in hindsight. But when we look back, we see so much meaning in the decisions that we made.

And so it's so, so, so important to just get into that into your body and into like, a true connection with yourself and trust, whatever is coming through for you and move with that feeling in your world. You know, whether that's a decision that you're making for your business, in your personal life. Um, whatever it might be.

My biggest example of this was when I was in my labor. You know, like when I when I was in it, I know I would constantly go into my mind and stress [00:51:00] that it wasn't happening the way that it should, because I have very unique labors, but that's a story for another day. But, you know, like, and I had all of these like worries and I kept like bringing myself back to this in hindsight, it's gonna be perfect, in hindsight

it's gonna be perfect. And literally it was. So magical in hindsight. And it was like, now I can see why, why every little thing that happened, how it played a role, but at the time it felt random and it felt weird and it felt scary. Um, but in hindsight it was just so magical. And, um, we can look back on everything like that, whether we're driving lessons in hindsight or whether we are reveling in the experience of what we had to, we got to experience.

And so. Yeah, leaning into that trust and moving with where your body and your pleasure and your soul is guiding you and letting yourself be surprised in hindsight, be, have that clarity in hindsight. 

Meaghan: I love that. I love the, the idea of allowing life and money and sex to [00:52:00] surprise and delight us. Mm-hmm specifically with money, like allowing money to delight and like,

you know, like give us little gifts here and there and surprises. I I'm someone, I love surprises. Mm-hmm and a lot of people don't like surprises, but I'm like money surprised me more, 

Viola: I want more. Yeah. I love that. It's one of my favorite things when I'm like just doing something casually and I look down and I get like a notification of a payment.

I'm like, oh, I love it. Yeah. Take delight in 

Meaghan: it. Well, beautiful. Okay. So tell the people where they can find you and plug whatever, um, offer you got going on right now. 

Viola: Amazing. So I am @violahug on pretty much everything. My favorite place is to hang out right now are TikTok and Instagram. So if you wanna come hang out with me there, and then the next best place to get kind of my communications would be my email list, which you can find on my website, violahug.com.

Like there's a signup form there. Um, [00:53:00] and I'm always open to DMs. If you have any more questions or whatever, and in terms of what I'm doing and my offers, I am just about to open up, um, private coaching spaces again. But like I said, I am really letting myself be delighted with what I'm creating at the moment.

You'll be able to see whatever I have currently on offer. If you click on any of those links. Um, but it's all base. Oh, we didn't even talk about human design. Oh my gosh. But another really powerful piece, but it's all based on like really, um, self liberation and reclamation through your own individual energetics, pleasure,

like really, like the point of being successful, but actually enjoying your life along the way. 

Meaghan: true because what is success without 

Viola: life? Literally? And I think we forget that sometimes, right? Like . Yeah. Um, because. The patriarchal conditioning, but whenever , we'll fight it, one, one, um, moment of pleasure at a time.

[00:54:00] Exactly. 

Meaghan: Well, thank you, Viola for joining me. And, um, I will put all the links in the show notes and we'll have to get you on again to talk about human design because I please, yeah. Fascinated. I'm a manifesting generator. Mm-hmm and so my sacral authority is like, literally I go by my gut mm-hmm at every moment.

I'm. Okay. What, what would feel good to me next? And, and just like yes or no from the gut and then I'm, I'm doing it. 

Viola: Yes. I love that. Oh my gosh. Yeah. If we have like a whole episode on it, I can like really dive in deep and also bring in gene keys into it because they, they work really well together. Yeah.

Yeah. I haven't looked into Jean keys, but I'm fascinated by it. Hmm. That's so fun. okay. Well, 

Meaghan: we'll talk later. Okay. 

Viola: Okay. Bye. Bye. 

Meaghan: Bye.

PODCAST OUTRO:

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