Sacred Wealth Podcast Transcription
Episode 17 | Healing From Business Coach Hell
w/ Cristina Gambino
PODCAST INTRO:
You are tuning into the Sacred Wealth Podcast. I am your host, Meaghan and I am so excited to have you here. Throughout my 10 years in finance, I have come across so much anxiety and fear surrounding money. It is now my purpose to help women become rich, unapologetically.
The goal of this podcast is to empower you, to love your money, to be so ecstatically grateful for what you have, and to feel safe to ask for more. Together, we will figure out what your luxury is and get you on the path to financial freedom.
EPISODE INTRO:
Hi everyone, thank you for tuning into the Sacred wealth podcast. I am so excited to be talking to Christina today. We are talking all about her crazy, terrible experience with her previous coach and we really dive into how it feels to lose support in one of the, one of the most important times in your business, which is launching a program.
So one thing that I really wanted to stress in this episode is that it's really important to be in alignment with yourself with your intuition and if you feel like there's something wrong, listen to that little niggle, listen to that nudge and hold, hold your, like have your own back. So, one thing that I think is really important is to have open communication with your coach. So if you ever have something that is bothering you or that is not how you would like it to be, then it's important to feel like you have an open floor to present that issue to your coach and have them respond respectfully and positively and be able to work on that with you.
So I hope you enjoy this episode. If you do, please send me a review on Apple podcasts or send me a voice note through Anchor and your voice note may be featured on a future episode and make sure that you're following me on Instagram @Sacred NumbersCo., all one word and I'll see you next time.
Meaghan Wall:
Hey, Cristina. Welcome to the Sacred Wealth Podcast. How are you today?
Cristina Gambino:
I am awesome. Thank you so much for having me.
Meaghan Wall:
I'm excited. We have done a couple of other podcasts together over on Cristina's podcast, The Gambino Mindset. So definitely check that out. We talk about sex work and we kind of shoot the shit around our clients and stuff like that.
Cristina Gambino:
Yeah, absolutely.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. So introduce yourself, tell us what you do and I'd love to hear it in your own words.
Cristina Gambino:
So my name is Cristina Gambino. I'm an intuitive sexuality coach. So I help women indulge in self-pleasure to manifest their desires and to embody the sexual and sensual side of themselves.
Meaghan Wall:
Love that.
Cristina Gambino:
So I'm also an adult entertainer. So a lot of the sacred movement that I teach and practice I use in the club.
Meaghan Wall:
Awesome. And how long have you been doing coaching?
Cristina Gambino:
I've been coaching since I guess a year and a half now.
Meaghan Wall:
Awesome, Perfect. So the reason why I wanted to have Cristina on the podcast is because she recently had a pretty terrible experience with her coach. And I wanted to use this as kind of a learning moment for all of us, as coaches and even people who hire coaches. So give us a brief synopsis of what happened and what led up to what happened.
Cristina Gambino:
So basically, I'm sure what most of us do, I follow this particular individual for a while. Bought some low-price courses. Thought, you know, why not? I invested in a mastermind. In the middle of the mastermind, I guess that was a four-month mastermind, I was really involved in the coaching space. I actually had a coach before I hired this particular coach. And to be honest, what I should have done is never have gotten rid of my first coach. I was really conflicted and interested in two. So I wanted the best of both worlds and it was very conflicted and I did her mastermind. She kind of convinced me to hire her on as a one-on-one coach. And I was so excited to be in the coaching space and to be collaborating and being a, my thing is group courses. I really love being a part of group courses with live interaction so I can collaborate with the other women. But that's what started me off coaching with her.
Meaghan Wall:
The other coach that you had where you one-on-one with the other coach?
Cristina Gambino:
No, I wasn't. I had bought a couple of programs from her and she was very one-on-one. We did do one-on-one sessions, but it was more of a group program than it was actual one-on-one coaching. And she was fabulous. And this is why I know it's such a difference. I can't even put a price on what my first coach has done for me. Her name is Kylie. She's amazing. When I hired her on as a coach, I was in a really bad place. I was getting out of like an abusive and toxic relationship and she really helped me through that. And because she helped me find myself on the other side, like I can't put a price on that.
MEAGHAN WALL:
Yeah.
Cristina Gambino:
So it's really not about all the money I invested in this particular coach. I just feel taken advantage of and I definitely didn't get the value for my money.
Meaghan Wall:
Are you okay with sharing with the audience, how much you invested?
Cristina Gambino:
$18,000.
Meaghan Wall:
Wow. That's very high.
Cristina Gambino:
Mine was $6,000 and then her one-on-one coaching for six months was 12.
Meaghan Wall:
So how did the relationship between you and the coach that ended up going poorly, how did it start out?
Cristina Gambino:
Really Exciting and motivating. It was nice to have someone. I was just in a terrible place. And I think my mistake is maybe I was looking for a little extra support more than what a coach could give, but she definitely provided that. But you could tell early on, there were certain signs, like my intuition was pulling me and I just wanted to stay true and honest to the contract I had. And I didn't want to bail out. I wanted to stay honest to my word, but at the beginning, it seemed fine. Everything seemed exciting. She did like a series with coaches for two weeks and she had me on. I get a good feeling for people, so I could kind of tell she's very- you can't be about the impact and financial status. You can't be focused on making an impact and changing lives if you're really worried about the dollar sign.
My first coach was very impact-driven. It wasn't about how much you could pay her. She wanted to change your life and help you and be a positive inspiration in your life, so you could do better. This particular coach is very about the money and what it looks like and how she looks. And I could see those red flags just by the way she promotes herself on social media. It's always about 30k months, 42k months, "I just had a $250,000 a year. I did this." She's constantly counting her stripper cash on Instagram. And I actually remember one day I did a VIP with her and I went over to see her. And we were just talking about Instagram followers. And at that time I was telling her how I was getting rid of certain people. If I can't connect with them, or they're not connecting with me, or they're not someone that's positive in my life, I'm just getting rid of you. I don't even want you following me. And her comment was, "Yeah, I have 10k followers. It just looks good for the clout." And I'm like, "Exactly. Cause you just want to look good."
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. As someone who literally just gave up an account that had 2,500 followers and started over at zero. Because I'm someone who doesn't care about the numbers and those vanity metrics, but it still seeps in. Then it's still like, I could have used that clout. You know, when new people come to my account and see that I have 2,500 followers versus now I have like 196, which the quality of the followers that I have now is way better.
Cristina Gambino:
Of course.
Meaghan Wall:
And that's 196 people who followed me because they know that I'm a coach. Because they know that I'm into manifestation and spirituality and all of that, rather than random people who are following me on my other account.
Cristina Gambino:
But that's kind of funny that we talk about that because you're a good coach, despite how many followers you have. And that's the biggest mistake I think people make when they're hiring coaches. Oh, they have 10,000 followers, that must mean that they're good. That must mean that so many people like them because they're so amazing and fabulous, not knowing the quality of them, these people.
Meaghan Wall:
Do you know anybody else who had the same kind of experience with this coach?
Cristina Gambino:
Several people.
Meaghan Wall:
Really.
Cristina Gambino:
It's funny. There was a girl who I became very, very close within the mastermind. She had a terrible situation in that mastermind. She didn't even show up to the last call or two. And she just basically told this particular coach that she just wasn't paying her anymore because the quality was bad. And I know a little bit more about the coach's personal life than maybe I should, because I know she was going through a hard time. I know she was dealing with some personal things. But at the same time, as a coach, if I'm dealing with personal things- I'm sorry for the best interest of you and myself and so I could be of support to you. So you could thrive, I would just have to cut that short, refund your money and apologize.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. Absolutely. But that would be on me as the coach.
Cristina Gambino:
Right. Which is like what I'm saying, you know, she cares more about the money than the wellbeing of her clients.
Meaghan Wall:
So tell us, what exactly happened? So for the money that you invested, what were you expecting and what did you get?
Cristina Gambino:
To be honest, I was definitely expecting to launch my business, launch my courses and get everything in order. I feel like I could have gotten more out of purchasing a course than I did actually working one-on-one. I hired her primarily because she markets herself as an NLP practitioner, that I'm taking my own NLP course. I'm really interested in the subconscious mind and how it works and the different modalities and techniques you can use. I wanted her to go through anchoring and EFT tapping and do hypnosis and do different things like that because I was so interested in it, myself, which we did do some of that. But one of the things I noticed that I didn't like early on, every time we'd get on a call she would say, "So what do you want to work on?" I don't know what I want to work on. You're my coach. If I knew what I wanted or needed to work on, I would just work on it.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. That's one of the things that I learned most recently. I took this coaching course that teaches you how to build a structured one-on-one offer so that you have a plan for every session. And I've had coaches in the past where we just hop on and like.
Cristina Gambino:
Talk the shit.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. Like, "What do you want to do today?" The pressure's on you as the client to know, or have a question, or bring a topic to the table for you and your coach to talk about. Which, you know, I feel like there's a time and a place for that. But also, I much prefer the structured learning programs that I've been invested in.
Cristina Gambino:
Absolutely. Because of course, we have a discovery call. During that 20-minute discovery call, you should get all the information from me that you need to be my coach. Like you should know what I'm struggling with, what I want to work on, what I expect of you as a coach. And maybe it was my first time hiring a coach. When I bought into my first coach, when I bought into Kylie's, I bought into a program. Like she provided way more support than any other coach that I've seen, honestly. Like one-on-one support for it being a group program, but there was a structure there and there was homework. I can't just hop on a call and you ask me what I want to work on. You should know like you're a business coach. You market yourself as an NLP practitioner and business coach. So I want to work on some business strategy and I want to do some NLP. And there were even times I asked her how to do certain things because I am studying the same thing, or I'd ask her to give me an outline or let's work on doing breakthrough mini sessions. You know, let's do like a mock breakthrough session. And she's like, "No, no, no. You'll learn that when you get to master NLP training." Why do I have to get to master NLP training? Can't you just help me out? Like, this is what I want to work on.
Meaghan Wall:
This is what I'm paying you for.
Cristina Gambino:
If you break it down, I get one call a week for an hour. You're charging me two grand a month. That's $500 a call.
Meaghan Wall:
That's a shit ton of money.
Cristina Gambino:
That's a shit ton of money. I wasn't in the right place to invest. I was on unemployment. I just left a ten-year relationship and relocated and moved to a different city. I have two kids.
Meaghan Wall:
You mentioned that she like convinced you. Do you feel like she used any kind of tactics that were sleazy in any way?
Cristina Gambino:
You know, now that you say that, she probably did because I don't trust her. And I think she's very fake. Maybe fake isn't the word, but definitely, she's not a genuine person. You know, she had personal issues, which I know what they are. She had falling outs with people that were very close to her. So it's the same, like when you start blaming everybody else, it's not everybody else anymore.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah.
Cristina Gambino:
It's you. You can't tell me, you have a handful of dissatisfied clients and people in your personal life who chose to step out of your life. You can't say that it's everybody else.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. So how long was the length of your contract?
Cristina Gambino:
Six months.
Meaghan Wall:
That's a long time.
Cristina Gambino:
It is.
Meaghan Wall:
That's a long contract. And how long were you in the container before things really went sour?
Cristina Gambino:
We had words about a few things. Like I had expressed my disappointment and she took it more as I was attacking her. And sometimes I know how I can get when I'm really passionate about something. I don't necessarily think of the words that I'm saying because I'm so passionate. You know, I don't think before I speak. So I did apologize for being a little harsh on her. But I had experienced, a few times, dissatisfaction in her services and the coaching, and nothing ever changed. And I went to see her at the beginning of November. By the end of November, two weeks later, she like fired me as a client. I owed her $750 and I asked her to pay it off.
And this is the kicker. So right before that had happened, we're getting to the business. We're getting to the end of the contract. It's the middle of November, I'm running a Black Friday special. I'm launching my program, which she took the whole outline on my program and created her own program based on my outline. And it's funny that I also say that because other clients of hers, that I've spoken to since, said the same thing happened. Well, when I made that post on Instagram...
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah.
Cristina Gambino:
I had clients of hers reach out to me to share their experiences because they felt where I was coming from. So we were at the very end of our contract. She said she owed me maybe three or four calls. And she told me until I pay her in full, she will no longer work with me or I can cancel a contract. And a couple of days before this, she says to me, "Why don't you go back and work at the strip club?" And I had mentioned to her previously when she had brought it up a couple of months prior. I said to her, "I didn't hire you so I can go back to the strip club."
Like you're a coach. You market yourself as a stripper business coach. You say, you take girls out of the strip club and build businesses. How are you going to tell me to go backward? So I did. I wasn't working. You know, I had just moved here. COVID happened. People are losing their jobs. Like what jobs was I going to hope to find that gives me the flexibility with my kids? So I was like, fuck it. I'll go back to the club. I worked one day and the very next day she told me that. And I'm like, you know, I had my first day of work. Like, you know, I just worked, you can't work with me here.
Meaghan Wall:
So she was mad at you because y'all had words or...?
Cristina Gambino:
I don't think she was happy with me at all.
Meaghan Wall:
Was it because you aren't getting the results that you wanted to be able to talk to her audience about?
Cristina Gambino:
I really believe that. That's what I believe.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah.
Cristina Gambino:
I don't think she was happy with me as a client and she probably wasn't. I wasn't happy with her as a coach. And I had, you know, little like nudges of intuition that I should have canceled the contract early on. And I wish I listened to myself because I just want to be that honest, trustworthy person. I continued to go through with the contract, but all I ended up doing is hurting myself. And as soon as I made that post on Instagram, talking about my experience because I felt like I had to give my audience something. I went from posting every single day to nothing at all. I completely retreated into hibernation mode. Stopped doing everything. Stopped meditating, stopped working on my program, canceled my whole launch. I did my presale and did my launch on Black Friday and then I didn't even end up launching. I ended up returning everyone's money.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. You were like deep in launch mode. I remember you were posting all the time.
Cristina Gambino:
Yeah.
Meaghan Wall:
All the fucking time.
Cristina Gambino:
And then, I've been struggling with what I'm going to post, how am I going to jump back? And that was my way of explaining to my audience. I'm just going through some things. This is what I'm dealing with. Like I'm still here. I had a few people reach out to me and just ask me if I was okay because they hadn't seen my post.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. So how has this affected your relationship with your business? I mean, how do you feel about your business?
Cristina Gambino:
I feel like I broke up with my business. I just now, right before we recorded, went on my phone and went through all of my DMS from months and started replying to people. So to me, I think that's the first step of me becoming present and being back in the online space. But I completely retreated. I said, forget everything. I stopped going on social media at all. Like I didn't just stop posting. I stopped engaging. I stopped being a part of my groups. I stopped talking to people and I love collaborating. And I love talking to other women about things. And I wasn't even doing that. I felt depressed because of what ended up happening, I felt like you kicked me out and you fired me during the most important time. It was during my launch. Like how could you decide you're no longer supporting me during this time.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. As a business coach, who's supposed to be helping you with your business. I feel like she lifted you up to this point of like, "Okay. We're actively Live Launching now." And then she pulled the rug out from under you and was just like, "You get to do this all on your own." When you were expecting to have some type of support, even if it was support that you weren't 100% jazzed with, it was support in and of itself.
Cristina Gambino:
Because I needed that. Because if I didn't need that, again, I wouldn't have hired a coach. I would have done it all by myself. You know, a lot of the coaching experience is that support. So if you can't support me, don't coach.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. Did you end up canceling the contract or did you pay her?
Cristina Gambino:
No, I canceled it.
Meaghan Wall:
Okay.
Cristina Gambino:
I ended up canceling it.
Meaghan Wall:
So with like three or four sessions left, you ended up canceling.
CRISTINA GAMBINO:
I ended up canceling it. And I ended up sending her a message and I said, you know, "Thanks for getting me back in the club because I do thoroughly enjoy it. Like I have a great time and I'm happy I gained the confidence to go back. But if that's all you can do for me, like I don't need a coach."
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. So what are your feelings about starting back up again?
Cristina Gambino:
You know, it's funny you ask. Because recently I've been looking into a lot of different sex education for my coaching and I've just started to be pulled off going back to school and studying psychology. And first of all, it's something that's always interested me and I know I'll enjoy it. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm not really the one to go to school. So I don't really know how that's going to work out. But ever since this happened, I started viewing like the coaching realm as something negative. And I don't want to be associated with that. I don't want to be known as a coach. I don't want people to look at me like, "Oh, she's just a coach, because now I associate, like I said, something negative with the experience of coaches that I don't even know if I would hire another coach.
Meaghan Wall:
Wow.
Meaghan Wall:
Do you feel like being related to this particular coach at all also gives you like a negative connotation? Like the fact that you even worked with her makes you undesirable as a coach?
Cristina Gambino:
No. I think that at least not now. Definitely at the beginning. Yeah. I definitely felt like that. I hire you because I'm lacking confidence. I can't seem to promote my business and do the things. I thought I lost my voice and I couldn't speak and I wasn't relevant and no one valued anything I had to say. So you go back to making me feel worthless and undervalued. Like you said, you lifted me up, and then you pulled the rug from underneath me. We worked on all this healing and all these limiting beliefs and did a ton of mindset work for you to get me to a certain point. Like we did a whole VIP breakthrough, eight-hour day of NLP work, so I could start to trust myself again and stop being so afraid of certain things. So now you have me afraid again. And I don't trust myself because if I trusted myself, I would have trusted my intuition when the time was right to stop.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. So speaking of trusting yourself and everything, what behaviors kept you safe while you healed from this experience?
Cristina Gambino:
I think I fell into a slight depression because I would sleep a lot. I'd make excuses for relaxing and not working on my business. I mean, I stopped doing everything. I stopped meditating. I stopped listening to my hypnosis. I stopped working on my NLP course. Like I should be done with that by now. And I've been procrastinating. There are things that I know need to get done, especially if I'm going to run a business. But staying away from social media, that's a big one that kept me safe.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah.
Cristina Gambino:
Yeah. And really not involving myself with coaching too much, unless I meet like real people. You know, now I'm skeptical about people online. I've been more present with my reality now. And the people I'm coaching in my life are people who are local, who I can have like a truly one-on-one experience with. Because the online, like everything, was social media, it just kind of turned me off.
MEAGHAN WALL:
Because it's whatever people are posting online, there's so much on the back end of that that you don't see and that you can't ever know unless you work with them. So I'd love to know like what those signs were at the beginning and if you were to start noticing those signs again, what would you do differently?
Cristina Gambino:
What would I do differently? So the signs definitely we're not having a coaching plan. What I would do differently now is sit down with my clients and come up with a whole coaching plan. We're together for six months, three months, six weeks, whatever it is, and this is your desired outcome. So what are the steps we are going to take to get you there? What are you struggling with? What do we need to get over that's internal before you can make these physical actionable steps your reality?
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah.
Cristina Gambino:
And I would definitely have a plan. I would hold them accountable. You know, like there was no accountability. There was no plan. There was nothing like here, work on this, and then we're going to review next. No. You know, that was a big one. The money was a big one. Just seeing how she posts. And I know she's not making that much money. I know she's not. Like I've been there, seen her, went to her real life and hung out. And then a whole day we like hung out as friends and just talked shit and she talked shit about one of her previous clients.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah.
Cristina Gambino:
Like the whole day. Just talked shit about her.
Meaghan Wall:
That's wild.
Cristina Gambino:
Called her a cunt. And it's funny, well it's not funny, but it's funny that particular person is friends with me on Facebook and saw my posts about me having a falling out. And she had commented and said something. So I DMd her and said, "You know who I'm talking about?" And she's like, "Yeah, I know." And we've connected. And she's a coach herself. And she's been more supportive to me during this time than that coach ever was the whole time I worked with her. And I even remember my previous coach, Kylie, who had stayed in touch with me through this time. And she still does. She's still super friendly. She's still super supportive, checks in on me. And I even remember telling her at one point, "I don't know why I didn't hire you. I should have just stayed working with you." Like why? Like I said, I got so caught up in all the coaches and I wanted to do all the things and work with everybody and get like little golden nuggets from, which is why I would collaborate with everyone on these group courses. But it was just too much.
Meaghan Wall:
So speaking of like golden nuggets from all these different coaches, what was it that attracted you to her, to begin with? Like the way, she presented herself online? What was attractive about that?
CRISTINA GAMBINO:
To be honest, I wasn't on Facebook with her for very long. I ended up coming across her podcast and listened to her podcast for months before I ever. I, at one moment, I said to myself, "Oh, she probably has a Facebook." Like I didn't even think about it. And I probably wasn't in her online space for more than two weeks before I started purchasing from her. So I didn't get like the whole feel of who she was because I was primarily listening to her on her podcast.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. So have you made any promises to yourself as far as your future clients and how you're going to treat your future clients?
Cristina Gambino:
Well, I'm always going to be there for them. I was never worried about money. Like I am a true believer in money will come. I care about people and I want to make a difference and I want to create change and I want to create impact. And I really want to empower a ton of bad-ass bitches to embody their soul and love themselves and be confident and radiate and thrive. And that alone is rewarding to me. So I would never ditch you because you're having a financial problem. You know, that's first and foremost, like I'm not going to give up on you because it's all an energy exchange. I'm pretty sure you're going to, if I support you and take care of you and love on you and help you and guide you and you don't want to leave me, I'm pretty sure you're going to pay me eventually.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. It's funny that you say that because I have a client who, she paid in full for my one-on-one program in January. And she's in Italy and she lost her ex-boyfriend and an avalanche, so she was fucking like dealing and like going through the shit. And so we literally haven't spoken in probably four months or like, very briefly, I would send her a text like, "Still thinking about you. I hope you're doing okay." And she would message me back, "Thank you so much for being here. I'm just still going through it." We only may have had one session together before that happened. And so she finally booked her next session next week.
And I know it's because I was checking in with her the whole time. If I had just been like, "Okay, whatever, that's a client loss." If I had just written her off and been like, "Well, never getting that client back," then I never would have been able to reconnect with her. And she sent me this long message and was like, "Hey, I really value your time. I really value like our relationship. So if you're not in this anymore, like it's been four months since we last had a session. Like I understand if our contract has been completed or whatever, and it's all me and that's totally fine." And I was like, "No, of course not like I want to help you. Like, I fully believe in your business." She runs a little BNB.
Cristina Gambino:
Oh, nice.
Meaghan Wall:
In the mountains of Italy.
Cristina Gambino:
Oh, beautiful.
Meaghan Wall:
Gorgeous. My husband and I still haven't gone on our honeymoon yet, and that's where I want to go. So as soon as they get up and running again, after like COVID and everything, that's where we're going to go. So yeah. The support between coach and client is so important.
Cristina Gambino:
Yeah.
Meaghan Wall:
And I can't imagine just not checking in with her over the last four months, you know what I mean?
Cristina Gambino:
Of course. I still check in with people. I mean, I haven't been the best of checking in with my online people but, like I said, I just went through all my messages and I just got back to it. And I started saying, you know, "I'm sorry, it took me so long to reply. Like I've been on a social media break and going through some things." And I've kind of started getting back with everybody, but that's the point. You need to create relationships, you know, and have a connection with somebody. And to be honest, when we had our discovery call for the mastermind that I took with her originally, I felt really pressured. Now that you said something about using certain tactics from NLP. Cause it's all about suggestions, certain persuasion. I feel like she did use it on me because I felt super pressured to say yes, like immediately, right then and there on that call. You know? And then she made me put down like the down payment while I was on the call with her. I think that's another red flag, but that's again, she's more consumed with the money.
Meaghan Wall:
Absolutely. And I'm definitely seeing the shift in the coaching industry, or at least in my circle specifically, around shifting from sleazy sales tactics. Like making people feel like they're running out of time or connecting with their negative self-image instead of connecting with their higher self. And like pressuring people to make purchasing decisions based on what they're going through and not based on their future vision of themselves. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Cristina Gambino:
Right. I completely understand that.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. And it's something that I really believe in. Like people can and are empowered to make purchasing decisions, especially high ticket offers. My coaching program is $3,500. That's a very high ticket offer for a three-month program. So I'm not going to sit there and try to convince you to spend $3,500 on something that you don't want and you don't feel like you need. You're just going to resent me if you end up following through. If you feel pressured, then we're not going to have a good time together. You know what I mean?
Cristina Gambino:
Right. Absolutely. And you know, I did feel a little pressured. And like I said, I should have spoken up but, like I also said earlier, I was having a hard time finding my voice and I wasn't feeling confident. So I don't know if I could have done anything differently. It would have been definitely not get up in all this shit, the laughs and the giggles of the coaching space. And stuck with my one coach, for sure, until I fully completed everything with her. And then listen to my intuition. I would also suggest, if your coach pressures you on a discovery call to make a decision at that moment to purchase, that is probably not a good idea because now you can tell they're not worried about you. They're worried about putting that money in their pocket. And you want someone who genuinely cares about you and your wellbeing and helping you progress. Because if they don't care about you, then they're just taking your money and they're not going to work for you. And they're not going to do anything to truly fully support you.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. Did she provide any support, like chat support on the outside?
Cristina Gambino:
Yeah. We did a Voxer chat.
Meaghan Wall:
Do you feel like that was useful at times?
Cristina Gambino:
She also provided me with access to her courses. So anytime I would have a question about something during our one-on-one, she would be like, "Oh, I have a course about that. Go into the module and just read this." If I felt like reading it, I would have done the course already. Can you just give me the answer? Like why do I have to go watch your eight-week course?
Meaghan Wall:
Wow. So tell me more about you actually getting back into coaching. What does that look like for you right now? So you went through your DM's. What else is on your plan?
Cristina Gambino:
I'm going to take it slow. I'm going to relax and be present and just do what feels right. I'm just going to listen to my body and listen to my intuition and go with the flow. If I feel called to do something, I'm going to do it. But right now I'm really enjoying not stressing about the business. I guess everything seemed so stressful when I was working with her, that I really only have negative feelings and negative emotions about everything I did. So thinking about going back to that just brings up that anxiety and those feelings. So it's hard for me to be like, "Okay, I want to go back to that," because that didn't feel comfortable. That didn't feel good. And I wasn't really producing how I wanted to, but I had no direction. So I'm going to go slowly into things. And I think I'm going to provide myself with a little more education, so I can really provide my clients with an ultimate change. Because that was always one of my biggest fears, is what if I coach somebody and they don't get results.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah.
Cristina Gambino:
I don't want to let anybody down. And now that I've been through what I been through, I don't want you to feel like you're wasting your time.
Meaghan Wall:
So what do you think you could include in your coaching to really give people the best experience possible?
Cristina Gambino:
Well, I believe people are going to be attracted to me for me and my energy. So I'm not too caught up on trying to sell right now. I want to start attracting that audience and people who generally care about me and want to connect the same way I want to with them. And I believe by building that relationship, builds a better coaching relationship. Because then you don't just see me as another number. You actually see me as a person because we've built a relationship.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. I've had several coaches since I started my business, probably like five or six, and I speak to maybe one out of all of those coaches. Not that I have a bad relationship with any of the other ones. It was like the container ended and now that's that.
Cristina Gambino:
See, and that was always something that I wondered about. I feel like over a six-month period, we should have built a relationship. And again, maybe I'm wrong. You know, a lot of people view business differently. Like, "Oh, this is business. This is a contract. When we're done, we're done." I understand that. I don't necessarily believe in that because again, I believe in loving on people and caring about people. I don't care about the money. Of course, I care. We all got to care about money because it's what makes the world go round, but it's not the end of the world.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. You're not desperate for the sale.
Cristina Gambino:
Right. Right. So if it takes you six months, cause you know, it all comes into play too on what you're ready for. You know? Like, are you energetically ready to make this commitment? Because if you're not, you're not going to get the results.
Meaghan Wall:
Right. As well as six months, I have never invested in a six-month course. That to me is a long time. All of the programs I've ever done have been like three to four months if that. Like sometimes they're six to eight weeks. And so much can change about you as a person in six months. I'm just speaking about myself right now. So like even me as a coach, I'm not willing to put in that time to create a six-month program right now.
Cristina Gambino:
That is a long time. Of course, the sales techniques, like you get a better deal if you buy the six months. "I'm going to throw in all these courses for free, and then you're going to get a VIP day, and then you can do this," and you know what I'm saying? So it's like, you make it all look good. So I buy at the six months because again, all you care about is the money.
Meaghan Wall:
But the other thing that I was going to say is, I think what your coaching is different than business coaching. Like you are a sexual and self-love coach, whereas a business coach is going to be very much, "Okay, I'm going to help you launch this program. And once you've launched the program then our contract is over." But when you're talking about people's self-image, their relationships with their partners, I think that's a lot more intimate than other types of coaching.
Cristina Gambino:
Yeah, you're right about that. And you know, I don't blame her for being who she is. I just wish like I said, I just wish I trusted myself and let myself be who I am as well.
Meaghan Wall:
I ended a coaching contract early. I mean, I had paid her in full already, but it was something like a couple of sessions earlier. I was like, now this feels like a chore to get on coaching calls with this person. And not necessarily because of anything that she was doing, but it was one of those where we hop on the call and she was like, "All right, what do you want to do today?" And I'm like, I have to sit here and fill an hour of...
Cristina Gambino:
Space.
Meaghan Wall:
Content or space to feel like I'm getting my money's worth. So I was just like, "This is feeling more laborious to me. This is feeling hard for me to actually show up on these calls. So I think we're just done here." And I think I had two calls left, which I knew going into it that it wasn't a structured program and it was going to be one of those types where you hop on and they're just like, "Okay, what do you want to talk about today?" So I knew what I was getting into, but then I realized that's not what I wanted anymore. So I was just like, we can end here. She was like, "Yeah, I got that vibe too." We were like, no hard feelings, whatever. And we ended, so...
Cristina Gambino:
Yeah, no. There are definitely hard feelings with this. After I don't even think so much on my part, I do remember sending her a message when I was at work one day and telling her how I felt. And how I got nothing out of coaching with her and that's the best thing she could have done for me, was to tell me to go back to the strip club. And I said, "Thanks for that." Like, and this was on Voxer. And she came back at me with, I don't even know, like a frickin' paragraph of whatever the fuck, and the first thing that it said, like the first line was, "Haha. That's a joke." And I'm like, I didn't even. Because you know it pops up on your phone, you see the beginning of it, you don't see the whole message. So I read that and then I opened it and saw this massive message. And I'm like, I'm not even. I still have it on my phone. Sometimes I think about just deleting the app, so I don't accidentally read it and get mad.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. Well, it's like triggering.
Cristina Gambino:
Yeah, right after I made that post about my experience, she blocked me from everything
Meaghan Wall:
I was going to ask. Did she respond?
Cristina Gambino:
She blocked me from everything, which I just find humorous because that to me just shows you're a juvenile. Like you're going to get upset because I don't like you, so you're going to block me? And I mean, it's not a big deal because clearly, we don't like each other and we don't like each other's style. There's no reason why we should be social media friends. I get it.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah.
Cristina Gambino:
But I just feel like when people block you, it's just like, I don't know.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. She could remove you as a follower and like she could not follow you, without having to block you.
Cristina Gambino:
It's just like, "I don't want to talk to you no more." Why? Like I just find it to be childish. It's like, you're stomping away. Like you're six and you're stomping away with a temper tantrum like, "I don't wanna be your friend no more."
Meaghan Wall:
Well, okay. We are coming to the end of our time slot and I want to make sure that you give the audience, you know, a lesson or like some final words. If you have any advice or whatever you'd like to share
Cristina Gambino:
Any advice? Well, I think I pretty much covered it. Give yourself time and space to find the right coach for you. Be energetically aligned. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. And don't let these coaches pressure you into buying. You know, it's your choice. You know when you're ready, you know what you need. You already have everything given to you, like we are all divine beings. We're already given everything we need to succeed. Sometimes you just need someone to help you pull it out, but make sure you're in alignment with that person. And your views are the same, and you're getting what you want, and that coach fits your learning style. Because personally for me, I need someone to kind of be on my ass a little bit, kick me in the butt, give me tough love. If you don't need that, don't find a coach like that. Do your research, get on discovery calls, and don't purchase on the call. You know, it's okay to think about it. And if a coach is pushing you and you don't feel valued, then just don't do it.
Meaghan Wall:
I think on the other side of that, if you are a coach and you get on a call, a clarity call or discovery call, with someone and you are not 100% sure you can help this person or like maybe what they need is not aligned with what you do, be in integrity with that. And don't just like continue to pitch them and continue to try to convince them to work with you, if you know that this is not your zone of genius.
Cristina Gambino:
Cause I definitely felt the energetics were off. And I would have honestly really appreciated it if she would have told me like, "No, I don't think we're there."
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. From the get-go, she was like, "I wish you the best. Maybe I can hook you up with one of my other coaching friends, but I don't think what I do is right for you." Like your view of her would be 10 times better. Your respect for her. You can easily see, "Okay, I can make this sale with someone who I can probably convince that they need me, but I also am not desperate."
Cristina Gambino:
But it's not about convincing.
Meaghan Wall:
Right. That's what I'm saying. It's like, you could probably convince this person but being an integrity as a coach is being able to say, "I don't think I'm the best coach for you right now. In the future, if you find that you need help with this, this, and this, then definitely come back, and let's work together at that time. But as of right now, I don't think we're going to be working well together."
Cristina Gambino:
Right. I completely agree with that.
Meaghan Wall:
And as a coach, the more you say no to people with who you don't align with, the more you're going to attract people who are hella fucking magnetic.
Cristina Gambino:
And that's what you have to think about. If you're filling all your space as a coach with clients that aren't for you, that you aren't in alignment with first, you're going to be energetically drained. But you're not saving space for the people who are truly meant for you and you're missing out on really great experiences. I remember talking to someone, who I actually met through this individual, through this coach. And a few people, I met you, you know, I met you through her. I met someone else that I'm close to, that I work with. I met this girl who I'm friends with, who lives fairly close to me. And we just met through that mastermind. And I'm truly grateful for the connections I've made. That is what I got out of her coaching, was connecting with other women and some men, they're not all women. But connecting with other people on various topics that I work with and getting their insight and getting their support.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah, love that. I love that you're able to find the thing that is positive about this because, I mean, and you could have easily been like, "Coaching, this whole thing, like I'm never going to be a coach again. They're all sleazebags." And just like..
Cristina Gambino:
Yeah.
Meaghan Wall:
You know, have allowed yourself to go back into your...
Cristina Gambino:
Right.
Meaghan Wall:
To your comfort zone hole of like, "I'm just going to be a stripper for the rest of my life." Which is not a bad thing, but I know that you want to be a coach and I know that you want to help people with your niche. So retreating back to your comfort zone of being a stripper for a while, was something else that kept you safe and brought in money.
Cristina Gambino:
It's funny you say that because that's exactly how I feel. I feel like I'm back in my comfort zone. I'm doing my thing. I'm dancing. By the time she fired me, it was like my second day of work. So I transferred what I was doing, like all my energy from coaching, and building the business, and launching, and doing everything, into dancing. So it's definitely brought me off of that balance because I was staying home, building my business. I was working from home, doing all the things. I had my podcast, I haven't even recorded.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah.
Cristina Gambino:
You know, I definitely took a time off from everything. And my retreat was the strip club, it was to go dance.
Meaghan Wall:
And that helped you heal. I mean, you were able to make money. You were able to take some time away from social media, focus on other things, not get triggered as often as you might have. If you were on social media if you were sitting there trying to do something that you felt out of alignment with anyway. So yeah, I admire you. Like, I don't know if I would have been able to like...
Cristina Gambino:
Thank you.
Meaghan Wall:
I don't know. I probably would have just thrown my whole shit away.
Cristina Gambino:
Yeah. It was hard. I just know what I'm capable of and just because she doesn't believe in me, that doesn't mean I don't believe in myself. I just need to get back with the discipline and I really need to start holding myself accountable. And I need to be my own support right now until I can heal a little more and start letting people back in.
Meaghan Wall:
Well, I believe in you.
Cristina Gambino:
Thank you.
MEAGHAN WALL:
Well, thank you so much for coming on Cristina. I had so much fun chatting with you. This was like an epic conversation.
Cristina Gambino:
I know I always have fun chatting with you.
Meaghan Wall:
So, yeah. Tell us where we can find you.
Cristina Gambino:
So you can find me on Instagram, @thegambinomindset. I also have a podcast on Apple, Spotify, Anchor, and a few others called The Gambino Mindset. It's primarily a sexuality and real-life shit podcast. So check it out. Meaghan's on there a few times talking about our sex fiascos, it's great. So you should definitely check it out.
Meaghan Wall:
Yeah. Amazing. Well, thank you so much. I hope you have a great weekend and I will talk to you soon, okay?
Cristina Gambino:
All right. Sounds good.
EPISODE OUTRO:
Thank you for listening to the Sacred Wealth Podcast. If you want to attract more money into your life, subscribe or follow Sacred Wealth wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you leave a five-star review on Itunes, it could be featured in a future episode, and be sure to share the podcast on social media when you listen. I'll see you next time.